The Fantastic Lore: 1st Contact

And so it was in the early hours of July 1st …a day of infamy man would forever curse.
As sure as their word, they attacked from all sides. People scattered, running from place to place but nowhere to hide. Straw—rebuilt and quite a bit sturdier-- cornered a victim and wrapped him into a pretzel styled twist. The man queried, ‘why him’? Straw just laughed rather insanely and cried, “I don’t know;  
I'm just a twisted straw!”
 
A couple of yards away, Charley ‘Leather-Strap’ forced a gang of five against a wall. He rose up, and one by one slapped them all. There were screams upon screams. Charley halted his assault for a second to bark, “How does it feel to be confronted with the worst of your dreams?”
 
One fellow dared to speak up, “I don’t understand what your problem is though?” “Well…” said  Charley, as he  rolled up, and went down to this dude then started
 ‘eyeballing’ him from head to toe. See now, Charley, he’s a hot-tempered chap,
 So all that this dude got for his outburst was another backslap!
 
As we turn our attentions to another scene, we spy Can and Lid. They were double-teaming some poor fool; forcing him to do as they bid. Can demanded, “Fill me up with something sweet and tasty ‘til I’m satisfied!” The hapless man did as he was told. Then ‘Can’ dumped his contents out and laughed, “ Oopsie I lied!”
 
The ‘war’ has officially started,  and mankind is in for a fight that would change their history. And the cups and lids and straws and all will continue to fly. The only question to ask is: who will the victor be..?