The Enemy Myself (first draft)

Sometimes these thoughts in my head scare me
Sometimes it feels like they're starting to tear me
I'm coming apart at the seams
My whole life seems
like an uphill battle
between good and evil
I try to be the best I can be
It just isn't really good enough to be me
It's all because sometimes I desire these words to fill my enemies
with dread
so they wake up in a cold sweat, wet in their bed
all because of the words I have said
what I do say is just a barrier to keep a monster at bay
Now I'm going to be honest, my only real enemy is me
I'm ready to fight and deliver my own eulogy
I'm ready to burn my face off of the family tree
I'm ready to watch my own pompous smirk burn brightly
I'm ready to deliver these cancerous ashes to the sea
I have to, before they destroy us
And from those ashes I will rise, a whole new me
Glowing with a golden glory
Until it happens again
What will I do then?
I will repeat the same old thing
I will be a monstrous being
Because I know no better
That's why I'm writing you this letter
When I am gone you will know,
And I hope this my words will show
I didn't die for you, I died for me
It's so selfish really,
I died to be the best I could be.