Cardio for the Brain

sometimes i really dont know where i belong
its true, you know
behind my funky hats
bright lipstick
a mask

you should see me before
all of this
a mess
waiting for an answer
to a question i did not ask
i did not ask!

the thoughts have run so fast
so many years
ive lived through this wondering
analysing
my past, your past, my face
the lines
there is nowhere left to run
im scared
afraid
grrrrrrr
cold angry empty

my heart beats
inconsintently
incomplete
unheard
a bird in flight
sees a mirror
react, retreat

i dont know where to go
but inward
backward
the hurt
it runs

no place to hide but inside my brain
the pain feels normal
it likes the pain

theres is no answer
to a question
i dont know how to ask

the pain is there
it runs my brain
lets run run run
i have to run