The Normal Addict

Why can't I be normal?
Why do I have to have this disease?
Does it have to be so formal?
Tell me, tell me please.
My mind wanders down a different path
Feeling like I'm led astray
Making me feel like I'm a psychopath
Every single day.
Am I really crazy?
I really do believe I am.
The boundaries are kinda hazy
I wish it were just a scam.
But this bitch that lives inside me called addiction
Rears its ugly head
For I know with conviction
That it really wants me dead.
My brain will start telling me stories
Lies to make me drink
Trying to take me back to my former glory
When life really did stink.
Sometimes I want to use so badly
I feel like I'm falling apart
But if I do it will end sadly
Breaking my family's heart.
It's dragged me down a deep black hole
Feeling like there's no way out.
Extinguishing my spirit and destroying my soul.
Leaving me with so many self doubts
Forever damaged goods
Not worthy of anyone.
A product of a fucked up childhood
Just longing for the love of someone.
Where did all my friends go?
I've pushed them all away
Sinking to an all time new low
Isolating and lying every single day.
Oh people tried to help me
I did not like it one bit.
Being made to see the real me
Made me fe like shit.
Then slowly I realized
I was going to die.
All my morals I had compromised
I had to change, I had to try.