deepundergroundpoetry.com
pet sounds
she says "darling" with a 'g' that hangs
in the air like the finest silk dress
draped over the most soulful of down and dirty
blues singers. It would be frightening,
if it wasn't encased in the most delicate of grace
she also has a "darlin'", that has a downhome heart
to it, that stops short of the grand display
and hugs with a lullaby that hums the feel of family
I have heard faint echos of "my love"
whispered through the trees of endearment
and as long as I get a smile and a "poppa bear";
with just the right amount of silliness,
I am destined to dance my feet
to their bloody ends, along each one of her trails
in the air like the finest silk dress
draped over the most soulful of down and dirty
blues singers. It would be frightening,
if it wasn't encased in the most delicate of grace
she also has a "darlin'", that has a downhome heart
to it, that stops short of the grand display
and hugs with a lullaby that hums the feel of family
I have heard faint echos of "my love"
whispered through the trees of endearment
and as long as I get a smile and a "poppa bear";
with just the right amount of silliness,
I am destined to dance my feet
to their bloody ends, along each one of her trails
Written by
lightbaron
Published 10th May 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 3
comments 23
reads 1416
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 00:26am
re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 3:42am
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 1:06am
Yep, its filled with an understanding, a closeness that could easily envoke the envy of whoever reads it, certainly did me anyway. It's cool and fluid with the right amount of sentiment.
Hat off to you LB, your consistansy is an.asset to.you.
..Sorry 'bout the spelling
Hat off to you LB, your consistansy is an.asset to.you.
..Sorry 'bout the spelling
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re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 3:52am
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 1:40am
Like the album of the same name it has a light and likable quality to it. The last two lines are really good though. I'm not saying that I don't like this one, because I do. I am saying that if you were to take those last two lines and put them aside..... then say there was some poem that you were writing a few months down the line about just such a woman... and if that poem was very strong and you just needed a good ending to make a very good poem better... then if these two lines were to show up there... that might not be such a bad thing.
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re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 4:02am
yeah great album, may have stolen that title.
thanks a bunch Steve, and good to see ya btw... I dig what you are saying and am totally not against recycling my own lines if they suit somewhere else better.
thanks a bunch Steve, and good to see ya btw... I dig what you are saying and am totally not against recycling my own lines if they suit somewhere else better.
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 2:09am
re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 4:03am
Re: pet sounds
Anonymous
10th May 2013 3:23am
liked it lightbaron.....strider
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Re: pet sounds
Anonymous
- Edited 10th May 2013 5:16am
10th May 2013 5:11am
The molasses of this got me, it's a bit of a sugar high minus the sap. I hope you breath this softly outside into an evening breeze. It's lush, and I'd love to twirl beneath the words as they skitter about like lightning bugs.
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re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 1:51pm
well, if there are words that can make you twirl, me and the evening breeze gots some talkin to do...
I mean it, thank you very much Amber
I mean it, thank you very much Amber
re: re: Re: pet sounds
Anonymous
- Edited 12th May 2013 4:21am
12th May 2013 4:18am
Better get after it with your bad self, ' cuz the breeze and I have an agreement >.
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re: re: re: Re: pet sounds
12th May 2013 11:35am
I don't doubt that you do.
between me, and the magnets, and the singing of the stagnant, the dust must be kicked up enough, to watch the woman twirl
between me, and the magnets, and the singing of the stagnant, the dust must be kicked up enough, to watch the woman twirl
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 2:38pm
Methinks that is a love song any woman would appreciate Darlin (Ha! I just had to do that! lol)
Wonderful read :)
Wonderful read :)
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re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 3:03pm
nice, I imagine you might have a "dahlun" to you, ,maybe?
thanks much Maggie, gotta shake out the juju you know, spring and all...very kind of you
thanks much Maggie, gotta shake out the juju you know, spring and all...very kind of you
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 2:38pm
re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 3:05pm
Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 6:24pm
Wow. LB in love ;) Terrific flow and balance throughout with an outstanding first stanza. Like Mr. Bragg mentioned earlier, the last two lines are absolutely awesome and tie a nice ribbon to it all. It's actually beautiful, man, and I mean that in the most sincerest sense.
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re: Re: pet sounds
10th May 2013 8:14pm
ah, the big burly buy loves beautiful, and sincere.
thank you very kindly Tony!
thank you very kindly Tony!
Re: pet sounds
26th Jun 2013 11:40pm
she says "darling" with a 'g' that hangs
in the air like the finest silk dress
Right from that opening ... lovely
in the air like the finest silk dress
Right from that opening ... lovely
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re: Re: pet sounds
27th Jun 2013 11:30am
Re. pet sounds
20th Oct 2015 11:33pm
Fun read. Could use a grammatical overhaul though... Understand the use of 'which' vs that, and and and... There are more eloquent ways to describe. Keep Grindin CAOS737
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