deepundergroundpoetry.com
Gathering of the Faithful
I pull ten thousand doors shut, hear just as
many approving thuds. Walls have stood
then fallen while I claim the stone incline.
I pull my scarf tighter around my head,
ecclesiastically bound… bound.
Triple digits pursed, I self-sanctify
my entrance into candlelit liturgy.
Stoic sainted icons suffer my first
plea, prayerful antiphons amass.
Anamnestic persuasions flow, now
flow… baptized anew, belief molten
into my bones. It cools and hardens –
metal weight behind the words I will fling
at the unbelievers, the doubters, the souls
in peril. The censer swirls, its smoke enshrines
those of us worthy of the one true faith.
Entry in the "Philosophical Vantage Points" competition
many approving thuds. Walls have stood
then fallen while I claim the stone incline.
I pull my scarf tighter around my head,
ecclesiastically bound… bound.
Triple digits pursed, I self-sanctify
my entrance into candlelit liturgy.
Stoic sainted icons suffer my first
plea, prayerful antiphons amass.
Anamnestic persuasions flow, now
flow… baptized anew, belief molten
into my bones. It cools and hardens –
metal weight behind the words I will fling
at the unbelievers, the doubters, the souls
in peril. The censer swirls, its smoke enshrines
those of us worthy of the one true faith.
Entry in the "Philosophical Vantage Points" competition
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 1
comments 22
reads 906
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
9th May 2013 9:41pm
Atakti,
Some genres bring out a kick ass way of speaking, this has deffo brought out a richness in your language thats a pleasure to read overr again and again.
Its been great following your progress. Shine on you crazy trouble maker :)
Some genres bring out a kick ass way of speaking, this has deffo brought out a richness in your language thats a pleasure to read overr again and again.
Its been great following your progress. Shine on you crazy trouble maker :)
1
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
9th May 2013 10:16pm
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
9th May 2013 9:54pm
I agree with the ol' craic distributer up there, this is a very cool way for your language to come out...I am totally sold by all the bells and whistles, and can believe in this psycho's passion towards their "one true faith"...no offense to this particular psycho, one true faith is some powerful magic, but oh so dark...ehh, anyway quite liked the write Atakti
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
9th May 2013 10:18pm
Thanks, lb, for that. "One true faith" has heralded much violence, oh so dark indeed.
I'm pleased you liked it. :)
I'm pleased you liked it. :)
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
9th May 2013 10:24pm
bound indeed...
and the key to it all methinks.
Loved the language of this as well. It is almost rigid in its antiquation which highly suits the piece.
Excellent read Atakti :)
and the key to it all methinks.
Loved the language of this as well. It is almost rigid in its antiquation which highly suits the piece.
Excellent read Atakti :)
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 5:48am
I have a specific person in mind, who represents the views of quite a few like-minded souls. They draw comfort from their faith, but not much else in this world pleases them... Terrifying, really, and yes, they're bound to it for life.
Thanks for reading, Maggie. :)
Thanks for reading, Maggie. :)
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
Anonymous
9th May 2013 10:27pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 5:50am
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
Anonymous
9th May 2013 10:29pm
you are perfecting your craft ataki
enjoyed strider
enjoyed strider
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 5:51am
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
Anonymous
10th May 2013 2:13am
Expert word smithing! Beautiful language that grants grace unto a graceless dogma. Man needs to find divinity from within and know they are their own saviors. But a very rich work, thank you! Mike.
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 5:51am
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 5:52am
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 6:17am
A write that made me think,
an underlying sense of mystery.
Very well written, I loved this.
an underlying sense of mystery.
Very well written, I loved this.
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 6:25am
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
Anonymous
10th May 2013 7:52am
Words rising from their surface, all to make a powerful whole, grand write, Ataki!
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 3:38pm
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 1:44pm
Well done, the part about pulling the scarf tighter really resonated with me, good luck in the comp :) A+
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
10th May 2013 3:38pm
lmao, thanks for the A+!
Yeah, I can see how that scarf triggers a few thoughts...
Thanks, nikki. :)
Yeah, I can see how that scarf triggers a few thoughts...
Thanks, nikki. :)
Re: Gathering of the Faithful
11th May 2013 2:29pm
I love to get hooked on one line. You know? That one line that stops you dead and MAKES the rest of the poem. The one line that says it all.
You opened with it. After I read the entire piece, I went back and stared at your opening because that's brilliant. It says it all. "I pull ten thousand doors shut, hear just as
many approving thuds."
The richness in the language and form was near elegant.
Good luck!
You opened with it. After I read the entire piece, I went back and stared at your opening because that's brilliant. It says it all. "I pull ten thousand doors shut, hear just as
many approving thuds."
The richness in the language and form was near elegant.
Good luck!
0
re: Re: Gathering of the Faithful
11th May 2013 6:15pm
Yeah, I guess that line is pretty good... it's one of those, you know, that come from nowhere, and feel totally right.
Thanks for noticing and your rockin' comment!
:)
Thanks for noticing and your rockin' comment!
:)