dream to death

I had a dream last night
that there was no reason for me to live.
I will not survive this life.
Fall back on my bed of nails
role into my casket,
I keep my eyes open, for I wish to watch it close
Close on all my memories
forgotten in the darkest parts of my soul
Shivers fill my being as I shake
attempting to find the voice that sounds foreign to my ear
sweet cynical laughs of terror overtake my fear
words of my family filling my mind, that turns so hypnotically into a cry
I lay there cold, helpless, my skin turning dry
aren't I beautiful?
is that not what you called me in my dream last night