I'm sorry

I forgot to tell you
that I'm sorry

sorry I didn't know the amount of thick it" it took in your drink

if I did then maybe I wouldn't have coward away

I was able
had a vehicle
a new born baby
I could've brought him with me
but I was selfish
to worried about what was happening at home

worried about him
and my marriage crumbled anyways

until this day I remember seeing you in that bed
laying there mouth open
crusty lips , dry mouth

all because a stupid nurse didn't think you where worth oral care

I shouldn't have let Vava tell me not to ring that bell and tell them off

but you knew her fears better then me
she forever thought someone would harm you , her or me
just by voicing our opinions

but just that one time I shouldn't have listened

maybe you'd lasted another day
and the world would be picture perfect

because I wouldn't have killed myself to get where I am
I would slow down on the working

because I would have said more then just I love you vavoo
before I walked out that door

(It was to hard seeing you in that bed
I couldn't stay knowing they could've helped, but they left you stranded in that fucking room alone ,to die. and she wouldn't let me say a word
not one word.)

I would have said I'm sorry
and thank you
thank you for being my dad

for the walks to the store
picking cans with me just for a dollar


thanks for the money I didn't want
I'll use it one day
the day I forgive myself

until then I'll continue to do my best
treat everyone on those beds
as if they where you


know you're , forever missed
my loving vavoo!!

Love your lightbulb!! Xoxox