The Butterflies

You know,
I used to chase butterflies
yelling things like
don't be afraid
as if they could understand
they were my favorite
pretty colors and pretty dances
back when i was too young to know
that the butterflies always fly away
in the end

My Grandfather and I
used to try to catch the butterflies
and big luna moths
and save them to put in a frame
before I was old enough to know
that framing them meant killing them
and they would never fly away
in the end.

When I was a little older
someone told me that butterflies
were the spririts of people we lost
coming back for a visit
Still too young to know
what death really meant
like the butterflies leaving
in the end

Before too long butterflies
were the feeling in my tummy
when a boy smiled at me
and made me feel happy and warm
not yet old enough to know
that when fall arives
all the butterflies go
somewhere where the weather is warm
in the end

Sometimes the butterflies from back then
come and make my stomach turn
in the smile of someone I love or
like when I stand up and present
the paper that took all night to write
thinking about the butterflies
that always help me get by
in the end

When I was a highschooler
I stopped chasing the butterflies
and started watching the way
they moved in specific patterns together
as if they are having a conversation
Now when things get hard
I think of the butterflies
who always make it back okay
in the end

There was also that time
in 11th grade ecology class
where we had to collect bugs for a project
and I chased the butterflies
around the beach
and caught it in a jar
in order to use for my project
but some how the butterfly flew away
in the end

When I think about the butterflies
I am back in that place
yelling don't be afraid
or thinking about the spirits
or feeling my stomach flutter
or just watching their pretty colors dance
in the wind of a new day
where everything is okay
in the end

Somewhere along the lines
butterflies became important to me
in ways that no one really understands
something that has always been there
though i'm old enough to know
that they always fly away though
I can count on the butterflies
to return to me
in the end

Some day there will be a butterfly
tattoed above the kanji strength
on my ankle in blue and black ink
to remind me that as long as there are butterflies
to chase, watch, feel, and catch
all will be right in the world
in the end