Freedom

My whole life I was looking for a meaning.
While deep inside I was screaming.
When these demons, had me feinin
For one more bag, one last line.
People ask me if I'm okay, I tell em that I'm fine.
Just another lie, cus the sun no longer shines.
Everywhere is dark, there is no street lights.
Sucked into the fight, don't no whether to go left or go right.
I can't find my way, I'm too deep in this pain.
I guess this life is what comes along with having my fathers name.
I can't live like this, but I'm too scared to live.
I just wanna die, ask me if I have a fuck to give?
I'll tell you that I do, Really I care too much.
But the problem in my life is that all the doors are shut.
I'm looking for a key, I lost em all in the fight.
I really need a blessing to come to me tonight.
I wake up in the morning, the pain is still here.
My insecurities are eating me alive, I'm living in a state of fear.
I sniff up a couple bags, the pain is gone.
It'll for sure come back, it won't be too long.
I need to go to rehab, I'm already in prison.
I got locked up the day I found drugs and made my decision.
When will I be out, is my insurance company going to post bail?
Because posting bail is to go to rehab, where I wont fail.
Saying goodbye to the ones I love, my eyes fill up with tears.
Sitting on the airplane, reminiscing over the years.
Where did I go wrong? Was I destined for addiction?
They tell me there's a better life, but that sounds like fiction.
But I'll take em for their word
Because this way of life is for the birds.
I stick my hand out for help.
I show em the hand I was dealt.
They understand the pain I felt.
And they told me I never again have to feel that way.
It's been 261 days from that day.
And haters told me I wouldn't  make it, that I was gonna die.
Just what they always told me, they told me another lie.