deepundergroundpoetry.com
Edge of Worlds
Understand the sea. Is it redundant? But
it had a purpose long ago when fish were something else.
Understand something that serves no purpose.
The complex body harnesses the busy mind
for a short and simple gesture. What are we
if we are not today, yesterday or tomorrow,
but the mark of these? If we shoot a deer dead
on the side of a mountain, and are not hungry,
are we a product? Or just a sound. The sound
of air as it pushes out of our atmosphere.
Here, in the sun he just wants to sit. Let the bricks
grow hearts and stretch out to the sea to meet
like strangers, at the edge of two worlds.
He wants to thread through her skin again at this edge,
where things become clear in passion. Before strange.
What are we if not the ocean or the concrete, but the alien fish
that momentarily blundered between worlds
that were much too simple to be understood.
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likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 16
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Edge of Worlds
16th Apr 2013 9:54pm
I started reading this on the latest poem page and felt compeled to finishing reading, happy to say i wasn't disapointed :') really enjoyed this great work!
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 8:23am
Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 00:51am
I think it's great Mr.A.
really beautifully written, pretty profound noodling there, and I get a sense of resolution.
couple things really jump out, the "understanding something that serves no purpose" and the "...clear in passion. Before strange." I think these are particularly brilliant ways of describing pretty complicated stuff in very simple terms. Although nothing stuck out for me as not being very well laid.
even the cliché of edges of worlds, I think is genuine here, and I love when cliché's transcend preconceived notions for me.
dig it man
really beautifully written, pretty profound noodling there, and I get a sense of resolution.
couple things really jump out, the "understanding something that serves no purpose" and the "...clear in passion. Before strange." I think these are particularly brilliant ways of describing pretty complicated stuff in very simple terms. Although nothing stuck out for me as not being very well laid.
even the cliché of edges of worlds, I think is genuine here, and I love when cliché's transcend preconceived notions for me.
dig it man
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 8:27am
Couldn't think of any other way to describe the sea and rural areas meeting more developed areas. I think two worlds will have to do. The edge is just the margin in which they meet. I wrote this pretty fucking quickly, with my eyes half shut so I'm happy it worked.
Cheers for the praise, lb.
Cheers for the praise, lb.
Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 8:38am
A lot going on in this poem... it seems to all point the same direction. It needs to be read again, so it's going in my list.
Too many good lines to list, but I really liked "alien fish" and "The sound of air as it pushes out of our atmosphere."
Too many good lines to list, but I really liked "alien fish" and "The sound of air as it pushes out of our atmosphere."
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 2:00pm
I think you're a bit of a sci-fi freak. More nerd than not? :)
As ever, thank you dearly for the praise, Atakti.
As ever, thank you dearly for the praise, Atakti.
Re: Edge of Worlds
sweet
contemplation
i'mages, yes t'which eye
relate[to]
most direct[ly]
last 3 lines
fine tie'up
contemplation
i'mages, yes t'which eye
relate[to]
most direct[ly]
last 3 lines
fine tie'up
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 2:03pm
Re: Edge of Worlds
Anonymous
17th Apr 2013 4:30pm
This poem reminds me of something Stephen Fry says in The Ode Less Travelled about difficult 20th-century poems and their obscure references to science and philosophy. That said, there's a thread of underlying logic beneath your poem and it's peppered with deeply moving, well-delineated thoughts. I see it as being about a man reflecting on the origins of mankind and asking which it has more in common with; its present, supposedly sophisticated incarnation, or its savage, mindless roots. JMHO, of course. Thank you for the read.
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 5:58pm
I think Stephen Fry is a little too pedantic in some ways. Not such a bad thing, but I appreciate philosophy in many forms. Aside from in poetry, modern philosophers tend to piss me off a bit.
You read that well, Jack. I've written many poems around these themes purely out of intrigue and fascination. I think the more I learn, and the thoughts manifest in more clear light, the closer I get to some wacky origin haha.
Thanks for reading, and commenting, Jack.
You read that well, Jack. I've written many poems around these themes purely out of intrigue and fascination. I think the more I learn, and the thoughts manifest in more clear light, the closer I get to some wacky origin haha.
Thanks for reading, and commenting, Jack.
Re: Edge of Worlds
Anonymous
17th Apr 2013 6:24pm
lot's of different emotions in this one..leaves me with a lot to ponder but does it so beautifully. nice work :-)
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 9:02pm
Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 8:09pm
i like your metaphors and the way you shape your ideas through interwining witty images and unfamiliar questions!
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
17th Apr 2013 9:03pm
Re: Edge of Worlds
19th Apr 2013 8:52am
complex body took hold of the busy mind for a second or two to write this nice gesture to the old distances
i don't see no philosophy patikcularly ... the lamenting/accepting vein suggests love, to me, something that crept into the poem without you noticing... alien fish.
will that do?
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re: Re: Edge of Worlds
19th Apr 2013 9:04am
Definitely not love. Strong aspects of passion, and maybe the brief wave of love, but not love especially.
Just writing about the lights in the fog; pinning a bold tail on an abstract donkey.
Just writing about the lights in the fog; pinning a bold tail on an abstract donkey.