the dad she had

While im too busy worrying about what i should have already done,
Her hair grows to a length ive never felt,im empty at the "attempts" ive claimed to have made.
The days go by ,and still i find myself regressing to growing up and not bein what i miss the most about my adolecents.
look at me.

I have good days.
I have days that i laugh. I have days that the more and more i act like im not trying,i could actually start to believe myself. Then when i realize im  the same, i break under the weight of shame piled in on my shoulders.

The Penatentry has made me obessive to a point of knowing noone cares anyway, so as long as im writing someting,keeping my hours counted,saying what im going to do when i get out, and in doing that,daydreaming of what i could have already changed twice, im left believing in what others praise, just incase i fall short of my intuition.

The hardest part is acting like im happy.
the saddest part is me making everyone think im different,and the longest part is the time in between a thought of indifference and failure.