Why Bother?

I go into my bathroom  
And then I lock my door
I turn and look into the mirror
The real me...? What for?  
I see the razor laying there
On the bathroom sink
I run my wrists under hot water
So they can turn pink
I want this time to sting
Yes, I want this time to burn
I want this clenching feeling
Pouring blood's what I yearn
I see myself begin to turn
An even brighter red
I turn again to my mirror
And I bash in my head.
I fall quickly to the floor
Landing with a thud
I feel it rushing in my ears
This warm pool of blood.  
Rushing in my veins waiting  
Just to hit the floor
I open up my blood shot eyes
To see you at the door
I know you screamed by your reaction
Sounded like rushing water
Before I fell I wrote in the mirror
Stained in blood, "why bother?"