Outcast

I was always an outcast.
always unworthy of love,
this world put me down, it kicked me
stabbed me and watched me bleed.
I always asked...in a voice no one bothered to hear.
why? what have i done? what is my sin?
i built a world of hate around me.
my only wish was to watch this world burn
for they hated me for no reason...
or..i thought there was no reason.

I finally realized why i was unworthy of kindness or love.
i realized it..the day i met him.
how shocked i was! how horrified!
he passed my barriers with ease.
he became my friend but i knew i wanted much more.
it felt like my society already knew...that i was gay.
they knew that when i realized i would feel this emptiness,
for i could tell no one. my parents would hate me..i know this.
because i am gay i am an outcast
because my eyes see this world different i am an outcast.
but i know now. one place where i can be free.
if life does not want me..then will death have me?
this world is not for me...nothing is for me...maybe,
i was given life only to understand death?