I don’t know

I am lost
I want to find me
But dont know where to begin
Besides
I cant remember who I’m searching for anyway 

I am lonely
Why does no one hear me cry?
I want to scream
And ask the world to understand,
And hold my hand 

I hurt
So many things...
It only hurts to breathe
I love the question;
Doesn’t it hurt to cut? 

I’m sick of it all
Inside,
Where no one can see
I ache,
And i want to die 

I am scarred
Both internally and out
And i am pathetic,
And confused,
And dissapearing... 

I cut
Because i think its beautiful
And because its my choice
Isn’t that fucked up?
But it wont change. 

I am trying to change,
I am on a quest for perfection,
Happiness
A pursuit of emptiness
Because thats easier when you have nothing 

I want contemptment,
I had it once before,
But it dissapeared
With that girl everyone seems to think i should be,
And I refuse to remember 

I dream of suicide,
Choosing death,
Because it is the ultimate foundation
Of a confusing world
That i am crumbling into 

I am nothing,
An empty worthless space,
Because that’s all
I seem to know
How to be