Submissions by noelbirwa

Have been addicated for over 9yrs ,addication became me .
when i think have hit my limit, thats when i push even further.
I can't control myself i get lost in thoughts
Some times i feel very sad and hate myself,
Am just trying to find my way out from this addication.
I know its a process that i need to fight for,

The jounery of 1000km begins with astep.
Addication is my nakename,my thoughts are way to deep.
sometimes i forget what i mean to myself.
I mix drugs and thoughts together,
waking up evryday the first thought in my mind is...

If i had the power to turn the back the clock.
Go back to that house at the end of the block.
The house that was HOME when i was a kid,
I know that I'd love it more than i did.
If i could go back there at my mother's knee,
And hear once again all she told me,
I'd listen as i never listened before,
For she knew what life had in store.
And all the advice  my dad used to give.
His voice I'll rememder as long as i live:
But it didn't seem important then:
what I'd give just to live it all over again.
And  what i give for the chance i...

I get so nervous whenever am around people,
i have low selfesteem like i dont belong to myself
keep asking whats going on in my life.
Am becoming someone i do not like,if my 10yrs
old self saw me,she will not find solace in someone like me.
I'm becoming bitter,angry,sad,jealous,envious,insecure,
impatient,dependent,toxic,lazy ,stubborn in an unhealthy way.
All things that i wish am not.All i want to do,is to be able to control
my inner demons, own them and come out victorious.
All i want to be is a woman who can carry herself with strength,kindness...

Dear God,
     I feel so lost,i feel so distant from my soul
      I feel  far away from myself,i feel so empty inside
      Dont  know whats next ,Am  weary,lost and heavy .
      I dont understand i need directions
      To  find the right path to my destiny
       I cant control my anger am fading away,
       Let my soul be lifted up so  far away
       Things are way too much for me Lord.
        Save my soul heavenly father,you are the light
        and the source.i need your protection and guidence .
               ...