Submissions by ladybehemoth

In the month of April i attempted suicide with sleeping pills . I remember being so exhausted after not sleeping for days and not showering , not eating and not living after weeks , months after living in a mental purgatory i decided to call it quits.
I took one then four then ten then thirty.i was functioning just fine for 15 minutes until my brain got fuzzy and i started twitching my mouth got dry and i began to slur so bad i couldn't speak. I get to the hospital and i get taken in i get put on IV's and i just remember twitching and just with the feeling of not being there i could hear...

I tend to tell myself time and time again that ill be okay that ill be fine that i'm still young that i still have time.i feel so anxious so afraid that ill lose the roof over my head. i think about the last four years my real story started out when i was 18 i ran off with someone i thought i knew and ended up running off with an abusive meth head living in an unstable drug house with no spoons and cat shit on the floor. Wearing shower shoes in the shower because i was afraid id get hepatitis. being physically and mentally abused and almost killing myself off. Now here i am 22 with a loving...

I woke up one morning and stopped fighting with myself . Finally after years of yelling at the reflection in the mirror. I let go of my own leash. And i let the dark take over. Iv always had this need to be this " better version " of me this cookie cutter persona , but ended up becoming an ass kisser if i may . Iv always known i was different person than what i was forced to be . I was abused as a child by a step mother and it altered my way of thinking my way of being me. I shut down in all aspects of me i shut down. and doing so i allowed the after math of abuse define me as a person and...