Submissions by dmccartan (Dave McCartan)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Methadone Mayhem
How many times can I fall out
Before I truly am shot out
How much can the brain really take
Impacting the decisions that I make
How many times sick though booking at ACJ
Just to stay clean far less then one fucking day
Rehab after Rehab back once again
I just want my fucking pain to end
I want to go lift weights, but can't move to pee
My stomach is doing back flips, that's enough work out for me
Physical pain will subside, then comes the sickness in my head
When is that? Methadone detox will make the strongest men wish they were dead...
Before I truly am shot out
How much can the brain really take
Impacting the decisions that I make
How many times sick though booking at ACJ
Just to stay clean far less then one fucking day
Rehab after Rehab back once again
I just want my fucking pain to end
I want to go lift weights, but can't move to pee
My stomach is doing back flips, that's enough work out for me
Physical pain will subside, then comes the sickness in my head
When is that? Methadone detox will make the strongest men wish they were dead...
649 reads
10 Comments
this too shall pass...
994 reads
2 Comments
junkie rant
I have been researching an alternative to addiction treatment. ive been battling drug addiction for 12yrs, have been thru many treatment facilities, one on one counseling, 12 step, etc. even tried religion… traditional treatment methods just don’t work. Ive been trapped in suboxone hell for the last 2yrs and the withdrawal makes heroin detox feel like a walk in the park. Im desperate and have long since run out of options. Trying to put this in writing is my form therapy, im not exactly keen to pouring out my emotions publicly (which is probably one reason as to why I fell down the 12 steps)...
949 reads
4 Comments
riddled with concern
I took a drug test today
it was for great pay, full benefit and 401k
I may be off the dope
But without smoke, I find it hard to cope
Even been smoking that store bought k2 fake shit
My system was clean; I mean thought there wasn’t shit
Never thought about the pipe, with the California medicinal resin
Now if im gonna pass this test...oh lord I need a blessin’
Drank like a gallon of water in that last hour
Straight pissing like it was coming from a water tower
I’m so nervous waiting for this call
But if I fail, human resources won’t call at...
it was for great pay, full benefit and 401k
I may be off the dope
But without smoke, I find it hard to cope
Even been smoking that store bought k2 fake shit
My system was clean; I mean thought there wasn’t shit
Never thought about the pipe, with the California medicinal resin
Now if im gonna pass this test...oh lord I need a blessin’
Drank like a gallon of water in that last hour
Straight pissing like it was coming from a water tower
I’m so nervous waiting for this call
But if I fail, human resources won’t call at...
790 reads
7 Comments
forever untold
1230 reads
16 Comments
A better way ?
I spent years on drugs, long past adolescence
but I refuse to spend my life, stuck in convalescence
out here in the country, I think that I’m fine
I drink a lil beer, might sniff a lil line
I know deep inside, this disease will progress
wont be long before I'm back in Pittsburgh, banging dope like the rest
I do ok when im out here all alone
but going back to da burgh, its like a fucking war zone
so much temptation, more then one can resist
going there im fucked, like getting rammed in the ass with a fist
methadone & suboxone are only...
but I refuse to spend my life, stuck in convalescence
out here in the country, I think that I’m fine
I drink a lil beer, might sniff a lil line
I know deep inside, this disease will progress
wont be long before I'm back in Pittsburgh, banging dope like the rest
I do ok when im out here all alone
but going back to da burgh, its like a fucking war zone
so much temptation, more then one can resist
going there im fucked, like getting rammed in the ass with a fist
methadone & suboxone are only...
1107 reads
9 Comments
Beyond redemption
Either comfortably sedated with buprenorphine
Or running the streets a shady dope fiend
My thoughts & memories continue to be my number one enemy
This dark obsession with the needle has consumed all
I struggle threw this narrow path and still I fall
Why does leaving this shit still cause me such tension
I go threw life it seems forever…beyond redemption
Always a junkie in the eyes of so many
Forever a fiend, no matter how long I stay clean
So easy to forget all the pain, the stress, the drama
It’s like my brain is now mush ...
Or running the streets a shady dope fiend
My thoughts & memories continue to be my number one enemy
This dark obsession with the needle has consumed all
I struggle threw this narrow path and still I fall
Why does leaving this shit still cause me such tension
I go threw life it seems forever…beyond redemption
Always a junkie in the eyes of so many
Forever a fiend, no matter how long I stay clean
So easy to forget all the pain, the stress, the drama
It’s like my brain is now mush ...
862 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by dmccartan (Dave McCartan)
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