Submissions by Sundaegirl
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SELF POEM
Published
24th Dec 2021 1:14am
24th Dec 2021 1:14am
Letter I’ll never send M
Letter I will never send mum
You wanted an abortion but it was too late
then you wanted me to be a boy
I’m a girl
then you took in two other children
and left me to be looked after by whoever would do it
When I was ill it was not you I reached for
when i called you mummy you would look disgusted
and say don’t call me that
When I was exposed to disgusting things
and I told someone you told me that didn’t happen even though you knew that it had and probably worse had happened
and now I have lost years of memory most...
You wanted an abortion but it was too late
then you wanted me to be a boy
I’m a girl
then you took in two other children
and left me to be looked after by whoever would do it
When I was ill it was not you I reached for
when i called you mummy you would look disgusted
and say don’t call me that
When I was exposed to disgusting things
and I told someone you told me that didn’t happen even though you knew that it had and probably worse had happened
and now I have lost years of memory most...
#mother
#abuse
#hurt #manipulation
#hurt #manipulation
384 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
9th Dec 2021 7:28pm
9th Dec 2021 7:28pm
I choose myself
Walking away from you forced me to choose myself
For years I thought I would love you until it killed me
14 months into our relationship I called it off
When you talking of a future with me sounded like a life sentence
Watching you fall off the pedestal I put you on
Showed me you weren’t a god and I didn’t have to worship you anymore
You were just a man who got in my brain
And walking away ended 7 long years of pain
I ripped up the seeds of self hate you planted
It took me time to get to down to the roots as they had grown for nearly a...
For years I thought I would love you until it killed me
14 months into our relationship I called it off
When you talking of a future with me sounded like a life sentence
Watching you fall off the pedestal I put you on
Showed me you weren’t a god and I didn’t have to worship you anymore
You were just a man who got in my brain
And walking away ended 7 long years of pain
I ripped up the seeds of self hate you planted
It took me time to get to down to the roots as they had grown for nearly a...
#LifeChangingMoment
#MovingOn
#healing #SelfWorth
#healing #SelfWorth
323 reads
4 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
9th Dec 2021 6:48pm
9th Dec 2021 6:48pm
Lavender Fields
When I die
you can find me in the Lavender Fields
Please do not cry
You’ll find me laying down in the grass staring at the sky
Finally at peace no longer at war with my mind
It will be okay here the weight will be released
No more fighting for a life I’m not sure I want
Finally at rest the constant torment will cease
Here the sun shines and there is no pain
the sound of waves and lavender far as the eye can see
My two favourite things is where I will spend eternity
Maybe my angel will meet me there
It has been years since I...
you can find me in the Lavender Fields
Please do not cry
You’ll find me laying down in the grass staring at the sky
Finally at peace no longer at war with my mind
It will be okay here the weight will be released
No more fighting for a life I’m not sure I want
Finally at rest the constant torment will cease
Here the sun shines and there is no pain
the sound of waves and lavender far as the eye can see
My two favourite things is where I will spend eternity
Maybe my angel will meet me there
It has been years since I...
#hope
366 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
26th Oct 2021 5:40pm
26th Oct 2021 5:40pm
A letter I will never send
I didn’t know you until I was 10 in year 6 and all I wanted to do was please
I did that for a while but your anger was a volcano and it erupted
so I switched from please to appease
I listened hard and I tried to become the daughter you acted like you wanted
I got violent just like you I went by your name I got involved in dangerous situations knowing stories of my name would be carried back to you
I thought you would be pleased as I had done what you wanted
instead you took your rage out on me and the damage you caused I would never let you see
I did...
I did that for a while but your anger was a volcano and it erupted
so I switched from please to appease
I listened hard and I tried to become the daughter you acted like you wanted
I got violent just like you I went by your name I got involved in dangerous situations knowing stories of my name would be carried back to you
I thought you would be pleased as I had done what you wanted
instead you took your rage out on me and the damage you caused I would never let you see
I did...
#depression
#parent
#abuse
#bullying
#emotional
353 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Jul 2020 4:41pm
14th Jul 2020 4:41pm
Me
Do you know what I find sad?
I couldn’t tell you how it feels to be loved. I have never been loved; I have been lusted after, I have been desired but never loved.
I couldn’t tell you what a home feels like for I have never had one. I have gone from building to building never fully unpacking because I know this won’t last for long. I’ll never be here for long.
My life has been a constant cycle of moving, being too much, being not enough and just like an unwanted parcel I have been passed around.
I was; too loud, too different, too troubled, too damaged....
I couldn’t tell you how it feels to be loved. I have never been loved; I have been lusted after, I have been desired but never loved.
I couldn’t tell you what a home feels like for I have never had one. I have gone from building to building never fully unpacking because I know this won’t last for long. I’ll never be here for long.
My life has been a constant cycle of moving, being too much, being not enough and just like an unwanted parcel I have been passed around.
I was; too loud, too different, too troubled, too damaged....
#sadness
#love
#family #home
#family #home
429 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
4th Feb 2020 4:42am
4th Feb 2020 4:42am
Thinking clear
Blood red thoughts blue
I’m broken how about you
Memories of lost time running through my mind
there’s answers here I just cannot find
explanations of past situations
Answers I’ll find if I work on my concentration
If I focus maybe I’ll understand why
when I figure it out there’ll be no more need to cry
No more sitting up late sobbing wanting to die
no more will the words I’m doing fine be a lie
recovery is possible I just need to really try
the finish lines in sight I need to fight my fear
for the first time in years I’m...
I’m broken how about you
Memories of lost time running through my mind
there’s answers here I just cannot find
explanations of past situations
Answers I’ll find if I work on my concentration
If I focus maybe I’ll understand why
when I figure it out there’ll be no more need to cry
No more sitting up late sobbing wanting to die
no more will the words I’m doing fine be a lie
recovery is possible I just need to really try
the finish lines in sight I need to fight my fear
for the first time in years I’m...
#hope
#MentalHealth
#LifeChangingMoment #healing
#LifeChangingMoment #healing
472 reads
5 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Jan 2020 9:54pm
21st Jan 2020 9:54pm
No restrictions
I’m trapped in a bubble
I’m trapped in a body with which I’m uncomfortable
I suffer from some mental trouble
I want to be sexy, elegant and breathtaking
I want no strings but I don’t want to be a plaything
I don’t want anything that requires restrictions
I want to be wild
I’m trapped in a body with which I’m uncomfortable
I suffer from some mental trouble
I want to be sexy, elegant and breathtaking
I want no strings but I don’t want to be a plaything
I don’t want anything that requires restrictions
I want to be wild
#lust
#devil
#sensual #passion
#sensual #passion
735 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Dec 2019 4:49pm
28th Dec 2019 4:49pm
28.12.19
All I want is to be happy
but lately my life’s been really crappy nothings going right and I’m really starting to lose hope
I’m up all night listening to music and struggling to cope
Tears fill my eyes but the screams don’t leave my head
I’ve got no motivation I barely leave my bed
I’m keeping up a dead smile and saying everything’s okay
But fuck man I’ve really lost my way
My minds screaming self hate
So I blare out music when I’m up late
I’m gonna end up relapsing at this rate
I’m drowning
but lately my life’s been really crappy nothings going right and I’m really starting to lose hope
I’m up all night listening to music and struggling to cope
Tears fill my eyes but the screams don’t leave my head
I’ve got no motivation I barely leave my bed
I’m keeping up a dead smile and saying everything’s okay
But fuck man I’ve really lost my way
My minds screaming self hate
So I blare out music when I’m up late
I’m gonna end up relapsing at this rate
I’m drowning
#depression
#hate
#dark
#silence
#tragedy
472 reads
4 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
30th Oct 2019 3:28am
30th Oct 2019 3:28am
Lost Girl
Lost girl free mind
Free soul lost kind
No longer prisoner to her trauma
She radiates an unforgettable aura
Twinkling eyes shiny smile
The kind of girl you won’t forget for a while
She has a mind full of dreams
Her unfulfilled potentials bursting at the seams
She’s a lost girl a free soul with a free mind and she’s of a lost kind
Free soul lost kind
No longer prisoner to her trauma
She radiates an unforgettable aura
Twinkling eyes shiny smile
The kind of girl you won’t forget for a while
She has a mind full of dreams
Her unfulfilled potentials bursting at the seams
She’s a lost girl a free soul with a free mind and she’s of a lost kind
#dreams
#spiritual
#MovingOn
#healing
#choices
541 reads
9 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
29th Oct 2019 2:17am
29th Oct 2019 2:17am
The Sea- just some writing not a poem
The sea is a majestic unforgiving creature. Created long before the times of good and evil, she knows no concept of time and does not obey anyone nor anything other than herself. She is an alluring mysterious being. Humans have never been even close to the end of her vast watery depths, she peacefully breaths in and out therefore creating the tide, she is immortal creatures live and die beneath her tranquil surface. Looking into sea is like turning back the hands of time. No matter the events transpiring, the sea rules in a much simpler way. Survive or die. No matter the noise on land go...
#sea
384 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
27th Oct 2019 1:36am
27th Oct 2019 1:36am
When in danger run
How can I run when the danger is me and my head
How can I run when the monsters aren’t under but surround my bed
How can I run when danger is the thoughts I think
And those very thoughts are a big part of what pushes me to the brink
For me danger is self hate and the extremes I’m willing to go to in an attempt to like myself
Even if those extremes damage my health
Because all I want to do is like myself
But the danger is in trying I may just kill myself
So sometimes you can’t run when you’re in danger
How can I run when the monsters aren’t under but surround my bed
How can I run when danger is the thoughts I think
And those very thoughts are a big part of what pushes me to the brink
For me danger is self hate and the extremes I’m willing to go to in an attempt to like myself
Even if those extremes damage my health
Because all I want to do is like myself
But the danger is in trying I may just kill myself
So sometimes you can’t run when you’re in danger
#anxiety
#hate
#MentalHealth
#frustration
#emptiness
430 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Oct 2019 2:07pm
21st Oct 2019 2:07pm
XXXX
Warm red blood pumping through every vein
Deaths bittersweet kiss will undoubtedly arrive
In that moment nothing and everything will be the same
For a while it’ll be so painful to be alive
Misery loves company that’s the price you’ll pay
The darkness will devour you
You can cheat death for a while but one way or another you’ll eventually succumb to oblivion
That’s everyone’s fate
Deaths bittersweet kiss will undoubtedly arrive
In that moment nothing and everything will be the same
For a while it’ll be so painful to be alive
Misery loves company that’s the price you’ll pay
The darkness will devour you
You can cheat death for a while but one way or another you’ll eventually succumb to oblivion
That’s everyone’s fate
#sadness
#grief
#dark
#despair
#emptiness
607 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Sundaegirl
