Submissions by RabbitJunk
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Father. Father to be. Partner. Lover to She.
Unbecoming.
Sometimes I despise who I am.
Who I have become.
Am becoming.
It is unbecoming of a man to feel this broken and helpless despite the helping hands being presented.
I have cried more times in the last year than in my entire adult life, and feel powerless to resist the clawing darkness and feelings of unworthiness which stop me in my tracks before I can even decide on which actions to take.
I sit silently seething while scouring my thoughts for a response to your statement which I deem suitable to satisfy you, but as the time passes, my ability to assess the situation...
Who I have become.
Am becoming.
It is unbecoming of a man to feel this broken and helpless despite the helping hands being presented.
I have cried more times in the last year than in my entire adult life, and feel powerless to resist the clawing darkness and feelings of unworthiness which stop me in my tracks before I can even decide on which actions to take.
I sit silently seething while scouring my thoughts for a response to your statement which I deem suitable to satisfy you, but as the time passes, my ability to assess the situation...
#depression
305 reads
1 Comment
Fine
I feel so fucking worthless
All the goddamn time.
The stress I feel
is all too real
I’m far from fucking “fine”
But that’s the answer you will receive
If anyone cared to ask.
“How’re you?”
“Fine and you?”
I say from behind my mask.
I’m neither homesick nor sick of home
I love my family.
But I feel stuck in web
As my sanities ebb
And I suck all the fear into me.
Fear controls my day to day
It is always close to hand.
It stops me from driving
Or otherwise thriving
In this Me...
All the goddamn time.
The stress I feel
is all too real
I’m far from fucking “fine”
But that’s the answer you will receive
If anyone cared to ask.
“How’re you?”
“Fine and you?”
I say from behind my mask.
I’m neither homesick nor sick of home
I love my family.
But I feel stuck in web
As my sanities ebb
And I suck all the fear into me.
Fear controls my day to day
It is always close to hand.
It stops me from driving
Or otherwise thriving
In this Me...
#despair
338 reads
0 Comments
Not Ferry Good
Up and down and side to side
From this ordeal I cannot hide
The ferry lurches to and fro
I fight my gut to not let go.
As I stare out across the black
Ploughing forward, no turning back
Up on the deck to breathe fresh air
The breeze is cooling in what's left of my hair
It was fine going over to respect my mum
But returning I wish I didn't come.
I don't have sea legs, this much is clear
Think I may skip the trip next year.
From this ordeal I cannot hide
The ferry lurches to and fro
I fight my gut to not let go.
As I stare out across the black
Ploughing forward, no turning back
Up on the deck to breathe fresh air
The breeze is cooling in what's left of my hair
It was fine going over to respect my mum
But returning I wish I didn't come.
I don't have sea legs, this much is clear
Think I may skip the trip next year.
452 reads
0 Comments
What is wrong with my head?
This past year has been a difficult one but you got me through it.
So why do I push you away?
So much stress has corrupted my brain that I can't function and
I lash out in defence at imagined slights and imagined injustices
Of which you have no clue what I mean or to what I refer.
I sink further into my abyss and retreat,
Uncertain what I need to say to make you see I still need you and want you.
We used to smile and laugh and play the day away,
But now I sullenly sit, face buried in my tablet trying to seek order.
To be the best.
To make...
So why do I push you away?
So much stress has corrupted my brain that I can't function and
I lash out in defence at imagined slights and imagined injustices
Of which you have no clue what I mean or to what I refer.
I sink further into my abyss and retreat,
Uncertain what I need to say to make you see I still need you and want you.
We used to smile and laugh and play the day away,
But now I sullenly sit, face buried in my tablet trying to seek order.
To be the best.
To make...
751 reads
0 Comments
In Memorium
As you set off on your final journey
You leave us here, behind.
You may be gone but we'll not forget
You'll live on in our mind.
Your pain is gone now, though we still hurt,
But with time our pain will pass.
Goodbye for now, go on your way
Until next we cross our paths.
You leave us here, behind.
You may be gone but we'll not forget
You'll live on in our mind.
Your pain is gone now, though we still hurt,
But with time our pain will pass.
Goodbye for now, go on your way
Until next we cross our paths.
494 reads
0 Comments
Self righteous ramblings in the face of existence
It can be hard; being right all the time.
A lot of pressure; the promise of performance.
Even when I'm initially wrong, down the line, I'm right.
Eventually, anyway.
Usually sooner rather than later, I'll somehow foresee the end of something.
A task; a relationship; a life; a job.
Most people object to being corrected.
They mill around, oblivious to their inaccuracies,
Safe in the knowledge that they are doing the best they can.
When you point out their flaws the defences go up.
Claws out; hiss and spit; recoil in horror at my audacity to correct THEM....
A lot of pressure; the promise of performance.
Even when I'm initially wrong, down the line, I'm right.
Eventually, anyway.
Usually sooner rather than later, I'll somehow foresee the end of something.
A task; a relationship; a life; a job.
Most people object to being corrected.
They mill around, oblivious to their inaccuracies,
Safe in the knowledge that they are doing the best they can.
When you point out their flaws the defences go up.
Claws out; hiss and spit; recoil in horror at my audacity to correct THEM....
589 reads
0 Comments
Rural network coverage
Oh.
Em.
Gee.
How can this be?
In this day and age?
No network to see?
No wifi in range!
No surfing for me!
My status unchecked.
No updates posted.
No idiots vexed.
No trolls roasted.
No access to games.
No resources collected.
No enemies slain.
No bases protected.
Nothing but time to kill.
I'll have to do something.
I could go outside I suppose.
Be better than nothing.
Amazing graphics,
This world outside,
But the plot line is rubbish
And the characters are snide.
The NPC's may be human
But...
Em.
Gee.
How can this be?
In this day and age?
No network to see?
No wifi in range!
No surfing for me!
My status unchecked.
No updates posted.
No idiots vexed.
No trolls roasted.
No access to games.
No resources collected.
No enemies slain.
No bases protected.
Nothing but time to kill.
I'll have to do something.
I could go outside I suppose.
Be better than nothing.
Amazing graphics,
This world outside,
But the plot line is rubbish
And the characters are snide.
The NPC's may be human
But...
676 reads
1 Comment
I never knew you
I never knew you, my brother, Graeme.
You died before my birth.
Not even sure how to spell your name
So short was your time on this earth.
I know not why this prose formed now,
Some 40 years since you passed away,
But I hope, if soul persists somehow,
That we may catch up one distant day.
I'd like your innocent's take on things;
Was my existence up to scratch?
Did I make people happy, smile and sing?
Is life a game? Is there a prize? A catch?
But that knowledge would be for it's own sake,
As it could never be used or ever...
You died before my birth.
Not even sure how to spell your name
So short was your time on this earth.
I know not why this prose formed now,
Some 40 years since you passed away,
But I hope, if soul persists somehow,
That we may catch up one distant day.
I'd like your innocent's take on things;
Was my existence up to scratch?
Did I make people happy, smile and sing?
Is life a game? Is there a prize? A catch?
But that knowledge would be for it's own sake,
As it could never be used or ever...
#childhood
#death
#LifeCycle #aging
#LifeCycle #aging
512 reads
0 Comments
Of demons and nebulas
I tried to slay your demons last night
As I attempted to slip from consciousness.
In the darkness colour flashed so bright
And formed into shapes amidst the mess.
The nebulas swirled and the lines, they strobed
As blotches coalesced in places,
But, as sleep was not yet fully probed,
What me that was wakened saw forming faces.
Reason has no place in this realm.
Logic is pointless; chaos abounds.
My intent? To grasp a demonic helm
And cast it's bearer unto the ground.
"Free my maiden from your vile...
As I attempted to slip from consciousness.
In the darkness colour flashed so bright
And formed into shapes amidst the mess.
The nebulas swirled and the lines, they strobed
As blotches coalesced in places,
But, as sleep was not yet fully probed,
What me that was wakened saw forming faces.
Reason has no place in this realm.
Logic is pointless; chaos abounds.
My intent? To grasp a demonic helm
And cast it's bearer unto the ground.
"Free my maiden from your vile...
576 reads
0 Comments
Terry Pratchett
And so today, Terry Pratchett died.
Bizarrely, against all odds, I cried.
Just a little. No sobs or wails.
I must lament, for no more tales
Shall be told of that great Disc
On turtles back. It will be missed.
The Discworld meant a lot to me
It brought me friends and set me free
To live these people's curious lives
And see the world through another's eyes.
A great man of wisdom but also rage,
He unleashed his mind on every page
With furious pursuit of fine detail
Of colourful witches and Death, most pale.
All given life and sarcastic wit...
Bizarrely, against all odds, I cried.
Just a little. No sobs or wails.
I must lament, for no more tales
Shall be told of that great Disc
On turtles back. It will be missed.
The Discworld meant a lot to me
It brought me friends and set me free
To live these people's curious lives
And see the world through another's eyes.
A great man of wisdom but also rage,
He unleashed his mind on every page
With furious pursuit of fine detail
Of colourful witches and Death, most pale.
All given life and sarcastic wit...
871 reads
0 Comments
Five Daves in the Life of Me
In my life I know 5 Daves.
I must know more, but their relevance fades.
They all affect me in diferent ways.
Those 5 daves in the life of me.
One may as well simply just be me;
Lack of self esteem; refuses sympathy;
Stuck in the dark seeking light to leave.
Dave 1 in the life of me.
The second can seem most abrasive,
But he's a smart guy, can be quite persuasive.
A good guy who uses humour to be evasive.
Dave 2 in the life of me.
A third has travelled a path most darkened.
Lived a life much...
I must know more, but their relevance fades.
They all affect me in diferent ways.
Those 5 daves in the life of me.
One may as well simply just be me;
Lack of self esteem; refuses sympathy;
Stuck in the dark seeking light to leave.
Dave 1 in the life of me.
The second can seem most abrasive,
But he's a smart guy, can be quite persuasive.
A good guy who uses humour to be evasive.
Dave 2 in the life of me.
A third has travelled a path most darkened.
Lived a life much...
610 reads
1 Comment
FEAR
Feeling my age more as time goes by.
Every creaking bone and twinge.
Age is just a number, they say.
Remembrance is immortality.
Every creaking bone and twinge.
Age is just a number, they say.
Remembrance is immortality.
596 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by RabbitJunk