Submissions by Nixprty
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write the words my tongue can’t speak, and for those who can still see clearly through the foggy windows.
Walk
I’m on a winding path
I lost the main road.
I’m sure the destination is the same,
I vaguely remember the same stars,
They’re just slightly farther away now.
I’ll meet my friends at the end,
Maybe just a little late and panting.
I can run the last 2 miles,
I sprinted the first 10 years.
I let the ground cut my feet,
I suffered the healing and scars for the next 5.
A future me problem,
A present me topic to bring up in therapy.
I can hear my...
I lost the main road.
I’m sure the destination is the same,
I vaguely remember the same stars,
They’re just slightly farther away now.
I’ll meet my friends at the end,
Maybe just a little late and panting.
I can run the last 2 miles,
I sprinted the first 10 years.
I let the ground cut my feet,
I suffered the healing and scars for the next 5.
A future me problem,
A present me topic to bring up in therapy.
I can hear my...
#aging
106 reads
2 Comments
Good Spirits
I am in love with a ghost,
I feel her in gusts of wind,
In echos.
She’s no louder than a whisper,
Flickering in the light of a candle,
Dancing like the flame.
I ask her to stay just a little longer,
She smiles,
It’s a sad smile.
I watch her slowly dissipate,
Gone in a flash,
The candle goes out.
Perhaps I cannot complain,
I’m the fool really,
For falling in love with a ghost.
I feel her in gusts of wind,
In echos.
She’s no louder than a whisper,
Flickering in the light of a candle,
Dancing like the flame.
I ask her to stay just a little longer,
She smiles,
It’s a sad smile.
I watch her slowly dissipate,
Gone in a flash,
The candle goes out.
Perhaps I cannot complain,
I’m the fool really,
For falling in love with a ghost.
#love
#UnrequitedLove
130 reads
2 Comments
Why (Without the Question Mark)
A fools query,
An unsolvable riddle.
An endless loop,
Without a real answer.
I don’t need to beg you for closure,
I don’t need to fix myself for you.
Sometimes a reason isn’t needed,
Or maybe you never even had one.
What answer could you give,
That would be worthy of this hurt?
What reason can explain away these scars,
Can it rinse away blood?
Can it erase the nights I spent wailing,
Can it stitch me back together.
I don’t need your excuses,
I don’t need the last word.
...
An unsolvable riddle.
An endless loop,
Without a real answer.
I don’t need to beg you for closure,
I don’t need to fix myself for you.
Sometimes a reason isn’t needed,
Or maybe you never even had one.
What answer could you give,
That would be worthy of this hurt?
What reason can explain away these scars,
Can it rinse away blood?
Can it erase the nights I spent wailing,
Can it stitch me back together.
I don’t need your excuses,
I don’t need the last word.
...
#anger
#betrayal
#hate #heartbroken
#hate #heartbroken
145 reads
1 Comment
Proud
I very often feel like my parents aren’t proud of me.
Then, suddenly, something happened.
I made a painting for my father,
It was a dinosaur.
He said he loved it and that was that.
Yesterday while celebrating the 4th overheard him speaking to someone.
“He’s gonna start performing with his guitar!”
“Oh that’s great, he’s so talented.”
“He really is, did you see the painting he made me? It’s so cool!”
I stood there as still and quiet as I could,
I was so happy...
Then, suddenly, something happened.
I made a painting for my father,
It was a dinosaur.
He said he loved it and that was that.
Yesterday while celebrating the 4th overheard him speaking to someone.
“He’s gonna start performing with his guitar!”
“Oh that’s great, he’s so talented.”
“He really is, did you see the painting he made me? It’s so cool!”
I stood there as still and quiet as I could,
I was so happy...
#art
#father
#happiness
#parent
#SelfWorth
94 reads
0 Comments
Parched
Satiate my
Thirst
Replace it
With a
Hunger
A lust
Skin deep
I can
Bear the
Hunger
I cannot
Bear the
Longing
I cannot
Claw it
Out of
My veins
I can
Sleep to
Escape the
Hunger
But
When I
Sleep
I still
Dream
Of
You
I know
You’ve let
Me go
But I
Still
Feel
You
There
Thirst
Replace it
With a
Hunger
A lust
Skin deep
I can
Bear the
Hunger
I cannot
Bear the
Longing
I cannot
Claw it
Out of
My veins
I can
Sleep to
Escape the
Hunger
But
When I
Sleep
I still
Dream
Of
You
I know
You’ve let
Me go
But I
Still
Feel
You
There
#hurt
#loneliness
#MovingOn #UnrequitedLove
#MovingOn #UnrequitedLove
131 reads
0 Comments
Like Me
When I was around 14 and deep in the clutches of mental illness my father called me into the living room.
He asked me to sit on the floor and listen.
He turned on a song I didn’t know, it was bizarre and loud and at the time I found it obnoxious.
He smiled and said “The guy who wrote this is crazy like you, and he is super famous now.”
I remember storming off in a rage,
I wasn’t crazy.
Well I was.
Still, it felt like a blow to the gut.
Now though, that artist is on every playlist I have. I enjoy the...
He asked me to sit on the floor and listen.
He turned on a song I didn’t know, it was bizarre and loud and at the time I found it obnoxious.
He smiled and said “The guy who wrote this is crazy like you, and he is super famous now.”
I remember storming off in a rage,
I wasn’t crazy.
Well I was.
Still, it felt like a blow to the gut.
Now though, that artist is on every playlist I have. I enjoy the...
#father
#hope
#MentalHealth
123 reads
5 Comments
Have
I’m tired of wanting more.
I can breathe the air around me,
It can fill my lungs.
I can bring my hand to my face,
And feel the skin there.
I can dig my nails in,
I can wince at the pain.
More,
It’s subjective.
I have so much,
And to some,
So little.
I can breathe the air around me,
Millions have not the same privilege.
I am living.
ALIVE.
I can scream,
And people listen.
I can breathe the air around me,
It can fill my lungs.
I can bring my hand to my face,
And feel the skin there.
I can dig my nails in,
I can wince at the pain.
More,
It’s subjective.
I have so much,
And to some,
So little.
I can breathe the air around me,
Millions have not the same privilege.
I am living.
ALIVE.
I can scream,
And people listen.
#bittersweet
#gratitude
#hope
113 reads
3 Comments
A Conversation Under the Fireworks
Hey, I was wondering if you wanna watch the fireworks with me?
Oh, on the roof?
Yeah!
Uh yeah, sure. Just give me a sec..
You know, I haven’t watched fireworks since I left home.. It’s kinda sad..
We don’t have to!
No, no I want to. Just, feels kinda weird. I’m glad I’m doing it though, especially with you.
There’s no one I’d rather do it with.
Oh look! There’s one!
Yeah..
Man, I wish I brought my glasses, I can hardly see them! Ooh is that a green one?!
That’s...
Oh, on the roof?
Yeah!
Uh yeah, sure. Just give me a sec..
You know, I haven’t watched fireworks since I left home.. It’s kinda sad..
We don’t have to!
No, no I want to. Just, feels kinda weird. I’m glad I’m doing it though, especially with you.
There’s no one I’d rather do it with.
Oh look! There’s one!
Yeah..
Man, I wish I brought my glasses, I can hardly see them! Ooh is that a green one?!
That’s...
#crush
#rejection
#UnrequitedLove
109 reads
0 Comments
Finis Patior
Finis Patior’
Roughly meaning “I suffer the end”.
Nostalgia for a fresh wound.
I feel it as I sign my name in the corner of my artwork.
In the drive home from a day with friends.
In the credits after a movie.
In goodbyes.
In dial tones.
In freshly torn presents.
In a dream faded to obscurity.
In the epilogues of books.
In the bows after a play or musical.
The rush of realization,
That it’s over.
An empty space left within me.
A vacancy that throbs and fills with blood.
It exists...
Roughly meaning “I suffer the end”.
Nostalgia for a fresh wound.
I feel it as I sign my name in the corner of my artwork.
In the drive home from a day with friends.
In the credits after a movie.
In goodbyes.
In dial tones.
In freshly torn presents.
In a dream faded to obscurity.
In the epilogues of books.
In the bows after a play or musical.
The rush of realization,
That it’s over.
An empty space left within me.
A vacancy that throbs and fills with blood.
It exists...
#bittersweet
#healing
#MovingOn
114 reads
1 Comment
Rusting
I’m much smaller than I used to be,
The moisture in my skin slowly evaporated into the air.
I’ve become shriveled and thin.
Stretched to the limit,
You can see the spaces between the stitches.
I miss being whole,
Feeling solid and thick.
I am splitting edges,
Dry leaves and sticks.
Weaker,
Brittle like a rotting tree.
I hold these stones in my palms,
And wait for them to fall through.
Guiltily letting the wind take me,
My veins come unthreaded.
I miss where I used to be,
What I used to be.
I’ve...
The moisture in my skin slowly evaporated into the air.
I’ve become shriveled and thin.
Stretched to the limit,
You can see the spaces between the stitches.
I miss being whole,
Feeling solid and thick.
I am splitting edges,
Dry leaves and sticks.
Weaker,
Brittle like a rotting tree.
I hold these stones in my palms,
And wait for them to fall through.
Guiltily letting the wind take me,
My veins come unthreaded.
I miss where I used to be,
What I used to be.
I’ve...
#emptiness
#FeelingLost
#LifeStruggles #sadness
#LifeStruggles #sadness
161 reads
0 Comments
I’ll Never Be Your Lover
I feel
Guilty
For loving
Like I’ve let
Everyone down
Like I’ve
Done something
Wrong
Sinful
Cruel temptation
Wicked mercy
An oasis
In a
Desert
I’d rather
Suffer the
Thirst
I’m sorry
For loving
You
You’ll never
Have me
As a lover
For I will
No sooner
Let myself
Love you
Than hurt
You
Shame
I am not
Ashamed
Of you
Rather
I am horrified
At how easily
I’ve taken to
Feeling your lips
Against...
Guilty
For loving
Like I’ve let
Everyone down
Like I’ve
Done something
Wrong
Sinful
Cruel temptation
Wicked mercy
An oasis
In a
Desert
I’d rather
Suffer the
Thirst
I’m sorry
For loving
You
You’ll never
Have me
As a lover
For I will
No sooner
Let myself
Love you
Than hurt
You
Shame
I am not
Ashamed
Of you
Rather
I am horrified
At how easily
I’ve taken to
Feeling your lips
Against...
#bittersweet
#hurt
#loneliness
#love
#shame
157 reads
1 Comment
Mama
Mama..
I don’t feel good.
I feel heavy,
I’m so thin.
Can you see my bones?
They’re purple.
Can you please hug me?
Please?
I can’t sleep.
It’s so hot,
I can’t stop shivering.
I don’t mean to do this.
I’m sorry.
Can I sleep in here tonight?
On the floor?
But it’s dark..
I’m sorry.
Mama,
Can you read to me?
I know I can...
I don’t feel good.
I feel heavy,
I’m so thin.
Can you see my bones?
They’re purple.
Can you please hug me?
Please?
I can’t sleep.
It’s so hot,
I can’t stop shivering.
I don’t mean to do this.
I’m sorry.
Can I sleep in here tonight?
On the floor?
But it’s dark..
I’m sorry.
Mama,
Can you read to me?
I know I can...
#abuse
#childhood
#mother #suffering
#mother #suffering
155 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nixprty