Submissions by JessePhoenix (Jessica Paterson)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I use my writing as therapy, to decipher my mind & the trauma I've been through. I hope that it can help others too. It's a confusing, dark & scary world and writing helps me navigate that.
LOVE POEM
Published
3rd May 2017 7:54pm
3rd May 2017 7:54pm
Soul Mate of Melodies
Warm tendrils, their elongated tips licking at the nerves on the surface of my skin.
Sensually drifting across the back of my neck, whispering softly into my ear such beauty that it burrows visciously deep into my soul, as the whisper rises to a crushing crescendo, it rushes up, tearing through me, leaving me breathless.
Droplets of sweat beading against my skin, breath laboured.
A momentary pause, silence so deafening, ears ringing, chest empty, darkness.
A realisation that I'm nothing without you, violated internally by a force of passion so...
Sensually drifting across the back of my neck, whispering softly into my ear such beauty that it burrows visciously deep into my soul, as the whisper rises to a crushing crescendo, it rushes up, tearing through me, leaving me breathless.
Droplets of sweat beading against my skin, breath laboured.
A momentary pause, silence so deafening, ears ringing, chest empty, darkness.
A realisation that I'm nothing without you, violated internally by a force of passion so...
657 reads
3 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
2nd Jul 2016 1:18pm
2nd Jul 2016 1:18pm
Girl Rising
Pitch black, heavy.
weighted darkness baring down all around me
Black,
All but the dim red glow of scorched dreams.
The smell of acrid smoke shocks my nostrils.
Flaring wide,
they search for the familiar empty scent of fresh air,
Craving it.
My consciousness awakened,
Limb by limb, trembling,
Life rippling through my veins
Panic rising, I can't breathe,
I'm suffocating.
Buried alive by your dirty secrets.
I won't lay down willingly,
I won't allow you to drag me under anymore
Your lies, your pain, your guilt
It's...
weighted darkness baring down all around me
Black,
All but the dim red glow of scorched dreams.
The smell of acrid smoke shocks my nostrils.
Flaring wide,
they search for the familiar empty scent of fresh air,
Craving it.
My consciousness awakened,
Limb by limb, trembling,
Life rippling through my veins
Panic rising, I can't breathe,
I'm suffocating.
Buried alive by your dirty secrets.
I won't lay down willingly,
I won't allow you to drag me under anymore
Your lies, your pain, your guilt
It's...
621 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
23rd Jun 2016 8:06pm
23rd Jun 2016 8:06pm
Uncontrollable hands
Every bad choice, every bad decision
appearing from the shadows like a ghost.
Paranatural past, carrying secrets,
demons exhaling damaging messages.
Faceless entities circling, smirking.
Thoughts & voices, dizzying.
Trauma dripping, like thick, dark treacle.
Leaving a trail of smudged darkness
Staring at a brick wall, so understanding
Devastated, it listens more than humanity
Each brick individual in its being
Marks, scars, pieces missing
Remind me of who was always there
No, not the demons, We're well acquainted...
appearing from the shadows like a ghost.
Paranatural past, carrying secrets,
demons exhaling damaging messages.
Faceless entities circling, smirking.
Thoughts & voices, dizzying.
Trauma dripping, like thick, dark treacle.
Leaving a trail of smudged darkness
Staring at a brick wall, so understanding
Devastated, it listens more than humanity
Each brick individual in its being
Marks, scars, pieces missing
Remind me of who was always there
No, not the demons, We're well acquainted...
677 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
18th Jun 2016 10:44pm
18th Jun 2016 10:44pm
Prescribe Me Normalcy
My mind stings with mania.
Every thought,
like a pounding fist to my temple.
Metal cogs forcing themselves to turn.
Sparking, grinding, never ceasing,
Relentlessly churning out junk.
Blood cells so full, membranes splitting,
with tranquillising desperation.
Liquid, pills & smokey seduction.
Tiny hands that never stop moving.
What should be precious & fleeting,
Time, for me, seems never ending.
My mind screams with numbness.
Like a thousand hot needles,
Injecting novocaine into every cell.
Yet it's...
Every thought,
like a pounding fist to my temple.
Metal cogs forcing themselves to turn.
Sparking, grinding, never ceasing,
Relentlessly churning out junk.
Blood cells so full, membranes splitting,
with tranquillising desperation.
Liquid, pills & smokey seduction.
Tiny hands that never stop moving.
What should be precious & fleeting,
Time, for me, seems never ending.
My mind screams with numbness.
Like a thousand hot needles,
Injecting novocaine into every cell.
Yet it's...
604 reads
5 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
14th Jun 2016 8:42pm
14th Jun 2016 8:42pm
Where The Masked Ones Live
Stumbling through the door,
falling into the chaos
Rat race, fully awakened
Calloused hands wipe away the night,
from my ink stained face
Camouflaged, shielded
Nerve endings sparking to life,
concentrate, breathe, move
One foot after the other
Strangers with blank faces,
passing by, warp into beasts
Whispers on the wind
Head turning, stare down every enemy
Calloused hands wipe away the fear
Secured, reinforced, safe
Eyes glued to a page,
the same page as yesterday
Mind racing, ink rising
...
falling into the chaos
Rat race, fully awakened
Calloused hands wipe away the night,
from my ink stained face
Camouflaged, shielded
Nerve endings sparking to life,
concentrate, breathe, move
One foot after the other
Strangers with blank faces,
passing by, warp into beasts
Whispers on the wind
Head turning, stare down every enemy
Calloused hands wipe away the fear
Secured, reinforced, safe
Eyes glued to a page,
the same page as yesterday
Mind racing, ink rising
...
520 reads
5 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
14th Jun 2016 00:42am
14th Jun 2016 00:42am
Invisible Prison
Open the door,
Just a crack,
Apocalyptic panic
Scratching at my skin till it bleeds
Dark silent corner
Rocking,
Back, forward, back
Black ink leaking from my eyes
Desperate to breathe
Slower, steady,
Oxygen
Boulder, weighing heavy on my chest
Stifling, oppressive air
Dragging in each breath
Sandpaper against my throat
Liquified, blazing heat,
Pulsating ferociously
Through dried up veins
Deafening
Heart pounding
Hands grasping at a biological prison
Nails puncturing flesh
...
Just a crack,
Apocalyptic panic
Scratching at my skin till it bleeds
Dark silent corner
Rocking,
Back, forward, back
Black ink leaking from my eyes
Desperate to breathe
Slower, steady,
Oxygen
Boulder, weighing heavy on my chest
Stifling, oppressive air
Dragging in each breath
Sandpaper against my throat
Liquified, blazing heat,
Pulsating ferociously
Through dried up veins
Deafening
Heart pounding
Hands grasping at a biological prison
Nails puncturing flesh
...
635 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
12th Jun 2016 8:53pm
12th Jun 2016 8:53pm
Wasteland Heart
Scorched, acrid wasteland
Chest sucking in,
Viciously
Excruciatingly cognizant,
This paroxysm, my eternal secret
Sadistically,
Circumscribed to your soul.
Fractured, like a desert in desiccation
Tunnelling deep to quench this,
Futile desire.
Hollow, echoing chasm
Ribs grinding,
sucking in more emptiness.
Lungs desperate to embrace,
your essence
Inside me, finally filled
Never...
So pure in spirit, in connection
Your true spirit animal,
Miles apart, never to migrate,
Together, towards...
Chest sucking in,
Viciously
Excruciatingly cognizant,
This paroxysm, my eternal secret
Sadistically,
Circumscribed to your soul.
Fractured, like a desert in desiccation
Tunnelling deep to quench this,
Futile desire.
Hollow, echoing chasm
Ribs grinding,
sucking in more emptiness.
Lungs desperate to embrace,
your essence
Inside me, finally filled
Never...
So pure in spirit, in connection
Your true spirit animal,
Miles apart, never to migrate,
Together, towards...
604 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
12th Jun 2016 7:18pm
12th Jun 2016 7:18pm
Wasteland Heart
Scorched, acrid wasteland
Chest sucking in,
Viciously
Excruciatingly cognizant,
This paroxysm, my eternal secret
Sadistically,
Circumscribed to your soul.
Fractured, like a desert in desiccation
Tunnelling deep to quench this,
Futile desire.
Hollow, echoing chasm
Ribs grinding,
sucking in more emptiness.
Lungs desperate to embrace,
your essence
Inside me, finally filled
Never...
So pure in spirit, in connection
Your true spirit animal,
Miles apart, never to migrate,
Together, towards...
Chest sucking in,
Viciously
Excruciatingly cognizant,
This paroxysm, my eternal secret
Sadistically,
Circumscribed to your soul.
Fractured, like a desert in desiccation
Tunnelling deep to quench this,
Futile desire.
Hollow, echoing chasm
Ribs grinding,
sucking in more emptiness.
Lungs desperate to embrace,
your essence
Inside me, finally filled
Never...
So pure in spirit, in connection
Your true spirit animal,
Miles apart, never to migrate,
Together, towards...
589 reads
5 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
11th Jun 2016 3:46pm
11th Jun 2016 3:46pm
Sleepless Sanity
Torn to shreds, mind, body and soul
Once a Phoenix, I'm no longer rising
So ruined by you, I no longer feel whole
No longer do I have faith in surviving
Sleep has become impossible to obtain
Like trying to touch the horizon
Exhaustion is gnawing at my brain
Sucking out my soul like a syphon
If I give in, close my eyes, stop fighting
All I see is a re-run of my torturers
Death is what you are prescribing
Forcing me to live amongst my monsters
Days merge into nights, nights into days
Time seeming to never move forward
Stuck...
Once a Phoenix, I'm no longer rising
So ruined by you, I no longer feel whole
No longer do I have faith in surviving
Sleep has become impossible to obtain
Like trying to touch the horizon
Exhaustion is gnawing at my brain
Sucking out my soul like a syphon
If I give in, close my eyes, stop fighting
All I see is a re-run of my torturers
Death is what you are prescribing
Forcing me to live amongst my monsters
Days merge into nights, nights into days
Time seeming to never move forward
Stuck...
718 reads
8 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
10th Jun 2016 7:26pm
10th Jun 2016 7:26pm
Labelled for Life
Labelled for Life
Face to face with the girl in the mirror
Something not quite right,
an untreatable error.
She didn't turn out, like I had imagined
Her soul, it trembles,
blackened, beaten & bludgeoned.
Innocence lost to developmental naivety
Residual trauma still visible,
like a kaleidoscope of inequity.
Anger pulses, from every thread of her fabric
Woven with complexity,
a metaphorical straight jacket.
Darkness thrust into her, like an air bubble into an IV
By those who vowed to save her,
a sociopath...
Face to face with the girl in the mirror
Something not quite right,
an untreatable error.
She didn't turn out, like I had imagined
Her soul, it trembles,
blackened, beaten & bludgeoned.
Innocence lost to developmental naivety
Residual trauma still visible,
like a kaleidoscope of inequity.
Anger pulses, from every thread of her fabric
Woven with complexity,
a metaphorical straight jacket.
Darkness thrust into her, like an air bubble into an IV
By those who vowed to save her,
a sociopath...
691 reads
7 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
10th Jun 2016 7:12pm
10th Jun 2016 7:12pm
Labelled for Life
Face to face with the girl in the mirror
Something not quite right,
an untreatable error.
She didn't turn out, like I had imagined
Her soul, it trembles,
blackened, beaten & bludgeoned.
Innocence lost to developmental naivety
Residual trauma still visible,
like a kaleidoscope of inequity.
Anger pulses, from every thread of her fabric
Woven with complexity,
a metaphorical straight jacket.
Darkness thrust into her, like an air bubble into an IV
By those who vowed to save her,
a sociopath with a P.H.D
A...
Something not quite right,
an untreatable error.
She didn't turn out, like I had imagined
Her soul, it trembles,
blackened, beaten & bludgeoned.
Innocence lost to developmental naivety
Residual trauma still visible,
like a kaleidoscope of inequity.
Anger pulses, from every thread of her fabric
Woven with complexity,
a metaphorical straight jacket.
Darkness thrust into her, like an air bubble into an IV
By those who vowed to save her,
a sociopath with a P.H.D
A...
616 reads
0 Comments
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
8th Jun 2016 4:44pm
8th Jun 2016 4:44pm
Fighting For Memories
chaining me to this solitary confinement
whispering relentlessly, I pray for silence
brick by brick, I build a wall of seclusion
Eyes stitched shut by evil delusions
Tricked and tempted by his shiny illusions
He knows the way in, my biggest weakness
Depression, anxiety, pain, I feel hopeless
My continual search for complete and utter numbness
I just can't take feeling so fucking worthless
Empty promises floating on big white clouds
my dreams lay around me, disemboweled
Short lived euphoria, flash backs to happiness
what i took for...
whispering relentlessly, I pray for silence
brick by brick, I build a wall of seclusion
Eyes stitched shut by evil delusions
Tricked and tempted by his shiny illusions
He knows the way in, my biggest weakness
Depression, anxiety, pain, I feel hopeless
My continual search for complete and utter numbness
I just can't take feeling so fucking worthless
Empty promises floating on big white clouds
my dreams lay around me, disemboweled
Short lived euphoria, flash backs to happiness
what i took for...
571 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by JessePhoenix (Jessica Paterson)
