Submissions by Bellababy08 (Lali)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
What Changed
I'm not the happy child
who used to think the world
was a safe place.
Aging reveals the horrors of where I stand.
Of what i used to think was beautiful.
Its over, the feelings gone.
Once I found out it's horrors,
i began to find my own.
One by one.
What use to be filled with light.
Is dim, nothing but shade.
I cant heal until the world itself heals.
Otherwise we both remain dying.
But now, we have passed.
Until a miracle erupts out of dust.
The possibility of birth after death is unknown.
In the depths of the darkness ...
who used to think the world
was a safe place.
Aging reveals the horrors of where I stand.
Of what i used to think was beautiful.
Its over, the feelings gone.
Once I found out it's horrors,
i began to find my own.
One by one.
What use to be filled with light.
Is dim, nothing but shade.
I cant heal until the world itself heals.
Otherwise we both remain dying.
But now, we have passed.
Until a miracle erupts out of dust.
The possibility of birth after death is unknown.
In the depths of the darkness ...
772 reads
3 Comments
Sorry
I didn't mean to hurt you, or ruin anything in our friendship. You didn't know what I was going through at the time. I was going through an emotional stage, and I still am lost in it. But I know nothing hurt me more than losing you. I know, its my fault for not speaking to you more often like a good friend would, and I'm sorry. If it makes any difference to you, your not the only one. The thing is none of them cared that I have layed low in the dark, except for you. When you gave me the news I felt a piercing blade tear right down the part of my heart that held you. I'm sorry for my pointless...
768 reads
1 Comment
Silent Messages Never Recieved
Headaches.
You think they are from computer screens and television.
Cuts.
You think i got from the trees I climb.
Red eyes.
They aren't from lack of sleep whatsoever.
Attitude.
It's not "that" time of the month.
"What's bothering you?"
Nothings bothering me.
Headaches.
Thinking too much, I'm pathetic.
Cuts.
I enjoy my safety scissors.
Red eyes.
They've get showered with tears too often.
Attitude.
I've lost most of my love for you.
"What's wrong?"
Everything is wrong.
You think they are from computer screens and television.
Cuts.
You think i got from the trees I climb.
Red eyes.
They aren't from lack of sleep whatsoever.
Attitude.
It's not "that" time of the month.
"What's bothering you?"
Nothings bothering me.
Headaches.
Thinking too much, I'm pathetic.
Cuts.
I enjoy my safety scissors.
Red eyes.
They've get showered with tears too often.
Attitude.
I've lost most of my love for you.
"What's wrong?"
Everything is wrong.
631 reads
0 Comments
Experiment
An experiment.
That's all this is.
Nothing more.
Not sure how to start.
Do i just drag it,
back and forth across my wrist?
Theres no blood though.
I just want to see blood,
that's all.
I can see line marks,
no speck of blood.
I don't want it noticable,
just an experiment.
A cat could do better,
like the one from before.
Clawed a bloody X right across my wrists.
Why couldn't it burst with red like that one time?
I don't like the pain,
i never wanted that,
even though i deserve it.
I'm only...
That's all this is.
Nothing more.
Not sure how to start.
Do i just drag it,
back and forth across my wrist?
Theres no blood though.
I just want to see blood,
that's all.
I can see line marks,
no speck of blood.
I don't want it noticable,
just an experiment.
A cat could do better,
like the one from before.
Clawed a bloody X right across my wrists.
Why couldn't it burst with red like that one time?
I don't like the pain,
i never wanted that,
even though i deserve it.
I'm only...
646 reads
0 Comments
Facing the ground
Pushed down,
Climb to my feet,
only to lose my balance once more.
To love him, and fight for him,
to lose the fight, and lose him.
To have finally given up,
knowing all hope is gone,
to know he’ll never love me again.
My loss.
Having started over again with a new profound ‘love’,
just to be pushed back into that state of reaping with lack of awareness.
To know you still want her,
yet try my best to win this round.
Another fight I know I won’t win.
Knowing I can’t get over you,
crying myself to dreams of unreal...
Climb to my feet,
only to lose my balance once more.
To love him, and fight for him,
to lose the fight, and lose him.
To have finally given up,
knowing all hope is gone,
to know he’ll never love me again.
My loss.
Having started over again with a new profound ‘love’,
just to be pushed back into that state of reaping with lack of awareness.
To know you still want her,
yet try my best to win this round.
Another fight I know I won’t win.
Knowing I can’t get over you,
crying myself to dreams of unreal...
730 reads
3 Comments
The Only Words Remembered
Words, thoughts, speeches,
Whole conversations planned out.
Many scenario types,
All covered and ready.
Dreaming of saying those exact words to them,
Only for the opportunity to never arrive.
Or for those words you have said to yourself millions of times,
To escape you.
Anger, worry, shock,
All pulse through your veins.
Heartbeat's picking up,
Showing on you're cheeks.
Wanting to say so many words,
Explain so many things.
Details,
All of it escapes you, but three words.
Eight letters,
Three syllables.
Five vowels,...
Whole conversations planned out.
Many scenario types,
All covered and ready.
Dreaming of saying those exact words to them,
Only for the opportunity to never arrive.
Or for those words you have said to yourself millions of times,
To escape you.
Anger, worry, shock,
All pulse through your veins.
Heartbeat's picking up,
Showing on you're cheeks.
Wanting to say so many words,
Explain so many things.
Details,
All of it escapes you, but three words.
Eight letters,
Three syllables.
Five vowels,...
695 reads
5 Comments
Let's Call It A Game..
I finally have you.
There is no where to hide.
Look all around you.
What do you see?
I see darkness, shadows.
No other breathing soul in sight.
Just you and me.
In my head it's ringing.
The thoughts i always think.
Now i don't need to wish,
I have you.
Say your last few words,
You're not seeing any other faces but mine.
This is your last night.
Kneeling on the floor crying in a ball,
How is that going to help?
Those nails might scratch but won't do shit,
Compared to the shit you put me through...
There is no where to hide.
Look all around you.
What do you see?
I see darkness, shadows.
No other breathing soul in sight.
Just you and me.
In my head it's ringing.
The thoughts i always think.
Now i don't need to wish,
I have you.
Say your last few words,
You're not seeing any other faces but mine.
This is your last night.
Kneeling on the floor crying in a ball,
How is that going to help?
Those nails might scratch but won't do shit,
Compared to the shit you put me through...
750 reads
4 Comments
NightFallen Woods
It calls to me,
voices singing,
Pulling me closer.
The shadows and darkness cause fear and worry,
But excitement for what lays beyond.
Behind the shadows,
Behind the hovering trees.
One step back,
One step closer.
Black hands entwine through the trees,
Wraping around my wrists and tugging.
My feet edge near the blackness.
Whispers get louder,
I start to shiver.
It's getting cooler,
The air.
Tree branches looming above,
Ominous shapes form in the shadows.
Creatures, monsters.
The hands tug harder,
My...
voices singing,
Pulling me closer.
The shadows and darkness cause fear and worry,
But excitement for what lays beyond.
Behind the shadows,
Behind the hovering trees.
One step back,
One step closer.
Black hands entwine through the trees,
Wraping around my wrists and tugging.
My feet edge near the blackness.
Whispers get louder,
I start to shiver.
It's getting cooler,
The air.
Tree branches looming above,
Ominous shapes form in the shadows.
Creatures, monsters.
The hands tug harder,
My...
714 reads
2 Comments
Lulling Meadows of Tranquility
Fresh grass
Bright tulips
Shadowy oaks
Beaming sun
Back to back in the middle of it all.
Spines aligned.
His head resting on her fragile shoulders.
Her eyes meet his to a knowing smile.
She knows she could rest in this position 'till old age.
No words could explain the feeling she felt at this moment.
The surroundings didn't matter much to her,
it was just more calming.
What mattered most was their connection to eachother.
She just wanted to be in the comfort of his presence.
The glimmering Eiffel Tower couldn't compare to...
Bright tulips
Shadowy oaks
Beaming sun
Back to back in the middle of it all.
Spines aligned.
His head resting on her fragile shoulders.
Her eyes meet his to a knowing smile.
She knows she could rest in this position 'till old age.
No words could explain the feeling she felt at this moment.
The surroundings didn't matter much to her,
it was just more calming.
What mattered most was their connection to eachother.
She just wanted to be in the comfort of his presence.
The glimmering Eiffel Tower couldn't compare to...
899 reads
4 Comments
Now And Forever
Get out of my head.
Get the fuck out.
I don't want you in my mind,
ever.
Why won't you just leave?
If it's easy enough in reality,
why is it so damn impossible here.
My mind should let me think of whatever the hell i want.
And i don't want you.
Just go back to that fucking happy world you live in,
and stay out of my life,
and my head.
My head already hurts to begin with,
i don't need any fucking heart throb to add to it.
Will you please wash away from my memory?
Why do you still lodge yourself in my brain?
Why is it...
Get the fuck out.
I don't want you in my mind,
ever.
Why won't you just leave?
If it's easy enough in reality,
why is it so damn impossible here.
My mind should let me think of whatever the hell i want.
And i don't want you.
Just go back to that fucking happy world you live in,
and stay out of my life,
and my head.
My head already hurts to begin with,
i don't need any fucking heart throb to add to it.
Will you please wash away from my memory?
Why do you still lodge yourself in my brain?
Why is it...
751 reads
2 Comments
Perfectly Ruined
Person(s): Myself, Jake (strong feelings towards), Colleen (Jake's former girlfriend)
Setting: Suburbs streets
Jake teaches me how to longboard on an empty street.
Just being near him is all i want, and longboarding is a perfect way.
I'm getting better with just hopping on the board and pedaling, so with more confidence i decide to start pedal faster.
I hear Jakes longboard behind me, along with another pair of wheels.
I turn my head just to find Jake and Colleen holding hands and staring into eachothers eyes.
I look in front of me, again pedaling...
Setting: Suburbs streets
Jake teaches me how to longboard on an empty street.
Just being near him is all i want, and longboarding is a perfect way.
I'm getting better with just hopping on the board and pedaling, so with more confidence i decide to start pedal faster.
I hear Jakes longboard behind me, along with another pair of wheels.
I turn my head just to find Jake and Colleen holding hands and staring into eachothers eyes.
I look in front of me, again pedaling...
763 reads
1 Comment
Anywhere But Home..
Everytime you're near me,
you yell constantly.
If i don't respond you yell louder.
Ringing in my ears.
Why can't you stop?
Leave me alone.
Isn't my face enough to show you,
I just want peace and quiet.
I already hear enough screaming,
A battle in my mind.
I want to be by myself,
With no one to hear me or see me.
My own inner sanctum.
Where i can be as ridiculous and as me,
As i can be.
Are you just declining my silent plea's,
Or are you just that stupid?
Now you've taken that sanctum of mine.
Where can i relax, let...
you yell constantly.
If i don't respond you yell louder.
Ringing in my ears.
Why can't you stop?
Leave me alone.
Isn't my face enough to show you,
I just want peace and quiet.
I already hear enough screaming,
A battle in my mind.
I want to be by myself,
With no one to hear me or see me.
My own inner sanctum.
Where i can be as ridiculous and as me,
As i can be.
Are you just declining my silent plea's,
Or are you just that stupid?
Now you've taken that sanctum of mine.
Where can i relax, let...
741 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Bellababy08 (Lali)