Who's saving you?

SAVE YOURSELF
You feel like you're banging
your head against the wall
Its not your responsibility to
save his fall
It is up to the addict to
make the call
You can beg and bargain
against their addiction
ending only in fiery confliction
How do you save an addicted soul?
please I beg you, don't make it
your goal.. for it will consume
& devour you whole. Only
the addict himself has the control
save yourself walk away
or stay
living day to day surviving off
one pay
Listen to what I say
are you deaf.. did I stutter
I understand.. but it's not up to you
in love I know its what we do
the problem is we give and give
in some crazy hope that they live
like they did before addiction took hold
but they'll lie and they'll steal so
brazen and bold before you know it
their grandmother is sold
Save yourself  -
your dignity's GOLD!
Written by TinaLouise

You were that butterfly, just waiting for a chance to fly
You kept asking me when, why and how, today or tomorrow?
When will you get a chance to go up high in the sky?
Acting like time is something you can only borrow

And I tell you just to slow down, relax and breathe
Just do and don’t worry if you stumble and fall
I am not going anywhere, I am not going to leave
And all you ever have to do is call

I don’t need the details of your history
Nor do I ask that you try to forget,
It may remain your personal story or mystery
Yet many of the scenes I can already set

Your tender years have already shown you needless tears
The experiences designed a formidable cocoon
Encasing all your traumatic relentless fears
But great things are to come, I promise and soon

New quests, tales and times will carry you through
Conquering what hides inside, perhaps find you a new mate
Maybe you’ll find and formulate the new you
Make new memories, a new life you could create

Stay Little Girl Stay
You will no longer hide from the child inside
I will hold your hand, allow you to explore and play
No longer be alone as I will be by your side
And maybe then in this world you’ll want to stay

feenixfiles said:You were that butterfly, just waiting for a chance to fly
You kept asking me when, why and how, today or tomorrow?
When will you get a chance to go up high in the sky?
Acting like time is something you can only borrow

And I tell you just to slow down, relax and breathe
Just do and don’t worry if you stumble and fall
I am not going anywhere, I am not going to leave
And all you ever have to do is call

Stay Little Girl Stay
You will no longer hide from the child inside
I will hold your hand, allow you to explore and play
No longer be alone as I will be by your side
And maybe then in this world you’ll want to stay

Wow this is so Powerful Thank you xx

ni un más día

your fingers circle the neck of the black vihuela            
sounding the chords of your parents’ graveyard  
dug for you in the rooms of their house          
         
they beckon you to lie down with them  
to take up the chorus they sowed in you          
you sing their dead to your fiesta of the unliving          
         
your caressing stanzas fix with familiar claws          
even as your open legs display their sacrificial dance  
spilling in melodies of your despair, I have no existence  
         
I cannot regale in these serapes of bleached bones            
set tables among the monuments with spoils from the graves          
strap on the skull face while on the stage you sing my beauty            
         
not one more day of holding up corpses as your guests          
dancing los voladores as the death verses chill your heart            
ni un más día de los muertos, not one more day  
         
remain in this tomb lamenting the comfort of its cold misery            
in warm light, I will find my place among the living            
singing hymns of embracing and desire, I will be no longer yours      


(been saving her for decades... ni un más día...)

(or if you prefer the long form...)

ni un día más de los muertos

as you twist your fingers about the neck    
of the black vihuela    
sounding the chords of the cantata    
of dispossessing love    
as you begin the pale lamentations    
of the wake of childhood’s shrouding    
and wail again this world    
of imagined specters appearing as real    
as you bring forth this disconsolate music    
I feel my fatal senses recoil    
   
you sing of the graveyards    
dug in the rooms of your parents’ house    
of ungiven, stolen emblems    
remade into their lurid icons    
singing among the markers and monuments    
of Formica and cement    
they beckon you pick up    
the chorus they composed in you    
while instead you sing    
of bringing their dead    
to your fiesta of the unliving          
         
even as your siren melody turns beguilingly to me    
I am departing    
as your caressing verses would dig in their claws    
I am vanishing    
even as your sacrificial dance is displayed for me    
I am disappearing      
as your open legs call me to the coda of your pain      
I am gone        
as I spill myself into these indulgent anthems    
I have no existence    
         
I will not regale in the costumes    
of your carnival of self denigration    
nor wear these woven word serapes    
of bleached bones    
nor set tables among the tombs    
laid with spoils of the damned    
nor accompany  your sorrows    
to the echoes of the dead's applause    
and will not strap on a skull face    
so you may sing my beauty at the stage    
   
not one more day leading parades    
through memorials of bleak worship    
holding up corpses    
that you may have your guests    
walking in the rot    
as death verses chill your heart    
dancing los voladores    
among morbid broken stones    
not one day more
the day of your dead    
ni un día más de los muertos    
   
you will remain in this tomb    
singing the comfort of its cold misery    
incant the long departed    
to sleeping and awakening with you    
I refuse to audience    
these mourning sonatas of stillborn life    
as I remain in sun’s warming light    
to find my place among the living    
to sing the holy hymns    
of desire and embracing    
I will be no longer yours

Addicted

I've become addicted
to saving myself
and once more, I vow, as predicted
to put the bottle upon the shelf

When will it end
this struggle for peace
When will I stop trying to defend
this internally wretched beast

For over forty years
I've continued to pick myself up off the floor
amidst my never-ending tears
I wonder what this life is for

If I am unable to help myself
despite continually trying to do so every day
then what is there to my life?  What else?
it is enlightenment within, for what I pray

I cannot give up on the person inside
who struggles for peace
so I get up and get back on the ride
and climb up again over the beast

that is, my life, soberness aside
Give up?  That's not my style
I am addicted to saving myself with pride
so I can stop finding myself passed out in a pile

Not being able to trust
is one thing that is important to most
Imagine it being yourself that you cannot trust
allowing into this thought, is your saving holy ghost

One day after another, I get up off the bed
and pray for solitude and a release from this disease
sometimes I've slept on the street, where I have last laid down my head
It is one sickness that, only within yourself, is the need to appease

To those of you who are not alcoholic drinkers
and instead, you devote your lives to saving someone who is
Imagine, for a second, put on your intellectual caps, you deep thinkers,
that it is you that is being held hostage

"A Chance in Hell"

Snowflakes are fallen feathers from the wings of guardian angels
Melting into teardrops as they gently reach out and touch your soul
With unconditional kindness, the kind that cares and quells
Lifting you out of the darkness within your deep and lonely hole
There is nothing I would not sacrifice to spread these wings for you
Releasing all my feathers, soaring down to where you fell
Unfurling layers of eternal love to heights we never flew
Together we can beat the odds of a snowflake’s chance in Hell


(jj johnson)

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f248/jadepandora/aesthetic_intervention_by_shades_of_lethe%2001.png
INTERVENTION
for Geoff

Every corner is swept clear, bathed
in new light cutting through the air with
her purpose as heavy drapes come down.

As a labor of love she holds a candle
against the darkness casting its long
shadows from his burdened soul.

The old waste, leaning walls are torn down.
She renovates each space
with broad strokes of her sunny beams.

To prepare the heart with compassion & grace
a work of art takes form where once was an
empty place, a fine house open to receive.

Unwavering truth guides him to the edge,
pushing with divine intent, she will
catch him as he falls to welcome him home.

And this is what will also save her.


©2016 Jade-Pandora. All Rights Reserved.

WoW guys Please forgive me, I've not ignored you today.. My mums having radiotherapy 2x daily ATM. I do apologise again and I will be here in the morning xx

TinaLouise said:WoW guys Please forgive me, I've not ignored you today.. My mums having radiotherapy 2x daily ATM. I do apologise again and I will be here in the morning xx

*gentle hug*
Take your time, dearest TinaLouise.  My dad and I have been through such procedures, being cancer survivors.  Prayers and wishes for you both. <3

Withdrawn.

Jade-Pandora said:

*gentle hug*
Take your time, dearest TinaLouise.  My dad and I have been through such procedures, being cancer survivors.  Prayers and wishes for you both. <3
Thank you Sweetie xx
And Thank you everyone, I'm going to ask my mum to help me judge this one... There's too much talent for me to decide!  
Mwah!

saving?

For ten thousand days of storm and calm
you’ve been pursuing a fix for me
ready at any time to point out in my doing
what your doings find “not right”,

Not knowing or caring to find the “who”
beyond the doing, whose “not rights” pursuing
left me running for, no, from my life
that couldn’t be for your need of “not me”.

Running into bottles, into porn, into work
to get away from your pruning
so careless as to cut the trunk and roots
stunting, not encouraging, my blooded heart

Always subject of your inferior man-date
making a living, filling accounts with money  
leaving me only crumbs in your distrust
you reading, watching and discontent of everything.

Ten thousand thoughts pursue your saving me
seeing you have it all and me still having to run,
to finally to ask the question,
who’s saving fucking who?  

TinaLouise said:
Thank you Sweetie xx
And Thank you everyone, I'm going to ask my mum to help me judge this one... There's too much talent for me to decide!  
Mwah!





let this place be the very least of your worries.
Take all the time you need.  Life can be really tough at times.
this too shall pass. xx

think about all that I say. Think about the power of choice versus choices made.
Not all people become addicts. Some people use but never form a habit.
some people use once and never touch it again. some use and never find an end.
Treatment, love and saving grace. Can work for some but not in every case.
The truth about addiction is more complex. Whether its drugs, criminal activity or addiction to sex.
Its a cop out for some and they are lieing through their teeth. Family and friends of those addicted often offer relief.
they feel sorry for their loved ones and give excuses. so the addict uses it to their advantage to gain sympathy for what appears like a disease.
Nobody feels sorry for a junkie on the street. They judge and label. they talk shit and some cause grief.
why is it that you could give your brother the time of day. but when you see a stranger that's addicted you turn the other way.
Theres something wrong with how society protects. theres something sad about the idea that all addicts choose to neglect.
The truth about Addictive personalitys is more than you know. For onl;y ten percent of users are really uncable of letting go.
The others choose to use, but have the mental ability to refuse. True addicts cant let go, its more complex than that and is truly a disease in case you didn't know. If you have a untreatable disease than how can you find a cure. You cant and the same goes for addicts that are truly diseased.
Rehabs and treatment only works for most. love and sympathy often cure what some so called addicts use to defer. Therefore I wonder
if you might find the time and love in your heart to study addiction before you decide to judge and believe that your able to cure. for the power of choice
is available to all. most of us have it but that doesn't mean it was meant for all. some of us will struggle til we die and never know why. family and friends will give up and blame the person they love for not being able or willing to change.but the reality is they are not understanding and find the burden to heavy to haul. as if there is anybody that's perfect. just because your not an addict doesn't mean addicts don't diserve what your not able to give. take it from me, I'm in that ten percent and if you think Its a excuse your blind and not willing to open your mind to something I cant refuse. If you think my life is just about getting high. think again and ask yourself why. you might not be able to comprehend but that's ok. because Id rather talk to a rock than try to persuade. Id rather not hear what reasons you have. Id rather not listen to how perfect your ideas are for you cant even relate,if every addict could be cured we wouldn't call them addicts. there would be no such thing as an addict. we'd just be people with bad habits. there is a difference and there is resistance. but an addict that suffers is diseased and doesn't choose to abuse. they feed the fire that they cant put out. not because they love it but because its their life and what its unfortunately about. so if your fortunate enough to have no life long addiction. don't forget the unfortunate ones that are constantly battleing the true curse that's out of their reach and was never meant to offer peace. If you try to cure an addict you should question why. The best thing you can do is to offer true unconditional love and not judge when their failures make you cry. when rejected we blame you for not understanding. and if you think you can change anyone you should correct it. we don't all steal or sell our souls. we don't all lie and cheat and our hearts aren't cold. those things happen because you tried to change instead of love whats worthy of a loan. not a loan of money, or property to sell.  loan your love and form  a different understanding. then maybe the addict in your life will be able to feel more like someone your demanding. life is short and full of pain. addicts suffer from something they cant tame. they deserve the same respect of a diseased person whos suffering physical pain. they deserve to be treated like people and not just a drug addict who refuses to change. opinions destroy and create debates. so unless your truly understanding don't act like you can relate.