Your broken relationship.

Defeated Vexation


Four years.
Four.
Years.
And I can count the number of times on my worn out hand.
This is beyond the point of frustration.
Beyond the point of masochism.
In no just world should someone like Me
be allowed to fall for someone like You.
In no version of the universe where fairness exists
should we be so perfect for each other in every Other way.
Our first years reduced to on again off again status
because 'you weren't ready'.
And then Finally. Finally.
Finally!
After almost three years that I don't know How I survived.
And there I was expecting that to be the breaking point.
That from then on we'd be like my first;
clothing shed the Second we were alone
(and sometimes when we weren't).
But no, back to my seclusion.
After that first time, a week.
Then a month.
Then longer.
I fairly howl in rage when you say I could be more assertive;
if I took the initiative, yes, you would give me what I want.
But that's the problem, isn't it;
you're Giving, as a favor, as a courtesy.
You try to deny it yet you sneer in disgust at the slightest mention of the topic!
And I've grown tired of the arguments.
I've grown tired of you telling me I'm wrong
while your every action screams that I'm Right.
And honestly, while I still love you,
while I'll always love you,
while we'll be together forever,
your lack of desire has caused my overactive lust
to start to desert you.

Preprogrammed

Your words are so violent
You might as well use your fists to
Deliver blows I can't hide
In my mess of scars
 
And you can deny your fault
With lowered eyes and a taste
Of the guilt that is leaving me with
Lifeless expressions and an empty stomach
 
My pain filled eyes beg for help
But your anger's burn is searing my flesh
Causing my pupils to contract and scream
"SO THIS IS WHAT LOVE HAS COME TO BE!?"
 
I calmly explain I had no choice and
Tell you to stop rolling your angry eyes
So you can close them tight
And visualize this possibility:
 
Maybe I was under a spell
Maybe I was in distress
Maybe I am a robot preprogrammed
To mutilate myself
 
Now don't you feel the fool
For screaming at my cuts
When all I needed
Was something to stop the blood?

Thoughts of you

Light and dark
can be found in
my heart.

My head is
filled with thoughts
of the living and
the dead.

My feelings chase
each other round
and round, for
they can not be
bound.

My mind is twisted
in thought and
wonder.

I plunder through
my head and contemplate
why I want you dead.

I sit in silents
and secretly wish
that you were dead.

Thoughts of suicide
run through my head
as I stood by the bed.

You in my head
and, me wanting
you dead instead.

I don't know exactly
why, all this is in
my head. But I'm
certain you will be dead.

I trusted you once
and I trusted you
twice, but you rolled
the dice.

You're just out
of luck and you're
lies were caught.
   So...
        drop dead
                you
                  backstabbing
                           cheater.
I want you out of my head,
but instead you wind up back
in my bed, and on your chest
is where I rest my head.
Oh how I wish you were dead.

I'm new here and don't know how to post to the competitions. Can you assist me? Thanks so much

Hes the one who will regret
Breaking my heart
He wasn't worth the pain anyways
I'm sick of people thinking they can hurt me
I'm not  some fucking toy
He lied
He cheated
He played with me
Now the joke's on him.

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/264088/264088,1316874903,6/stock-vector-vector-silhouette-of-broken-relationship-between-young-man-and-woman-85256035.jpg

          A Cold Night


I can live through this night
When the world is asleep.
There was a time when i was busy now,
You were moaning and murmuring in my ears
The holiest words of the soul of the world.
And I took you up in my arms not realising the morning was drawing near,
I didnt bring the curtains down,to prevent the light from coming in,
O our sweet darkness!!
For I was sure that our blanket would keep away all the glares far.

But the dawn had arrived much before,
And the bright light blinded your eyes.
You were so blind- you failed to look
that my hands werent enough to bring the curtains down.
And you never lent me your hands.
The light faded away all the fairytale dreams
waking me up.
I thought I could but I failed to control the light.

Now I stand awake in the cold night!
Though I have drawn the curtains this time,
The blanket is gone forever.
It is too cold and this night seems harsh-
Its tough but am trying to stay awake,
Hoping that you will once again cover me with the blanket.

The Change That Broke Me

Loved the grey smokey eyes, the half crooked smile almost like he had the seductive, quiet taunting thing going on... His laugh was intoxicating and filled my soul with hope of a real and true love, deep the kind you see in the movies, but that all came to a hault when the truth surfaced!!! Lies since the day we met, cheating with his X, the anger, the rage, abuse became my home... Now the feeling of being stuck, no way out is the broken soul I dwell in now, haunted by my inability to see through the chaos I thought was LOVE!!!!

By: r fuller 4/27/13

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/images/uploads/poemimages/95609.jpg


My Lady Is Broken

I don't recall ever feeling this defeated
Heart, mind and soul depleted
Soaked by the tides of my desperation
Her love absent without explanation


The space between us no longer measured in distance
My heart fights back with endless persistence
This chill in the air survives a thousand fires
Suddenly a stranger to all her desires


If she would only show me the colour that began this decline
I would paint over it white, bright and divine
Silence that brings a deafening sound
My heart pumping fear with every pound


Love shows it's cruelty, refusing to hide
Every minute I stay I die more inside
All I can hear now are the words she can't say
Maybe this is a dream and i will wake one day

My lady is broken.

COVET
           
thoughts of you drench my mind,
i pull at my hair and scram out loud.
needing you here from the kiss of your lips.
every moment with you makes me all mad,
remember from lust of all we had

Beyond my imagination,Killed my inner silence.
in a waste of shame you bought me violence.
from the sunny valleys sought for the open sea,
emotionally desterbed waves drank of me.

mass fluid frightens me and extinguishes the light.
i cant brake free i cant find it in me.

were you there or just a image in my dream. such voice to the experience of disaster.
day after day, that just dosnt go by,
you taunt thy love and then deny.
The person I seem goes carelessly, Gradually disappearing
into the night.

Hiding away from the lover's eye.
standing alone, give all and taking nothing.

voices tell, to stand for one brief space,
Unfettered, soul to soul, from my face to face.

Could i but learn
could i but guess
only but i  foretell my story of distress

-Kumiko Yamamoto

FLAGRANTE DELICTO


i discovered my husband
in bed with another
flagrante delicto
took a photo with my iphone
sent it to my lawyer
as his death i planned

what shit i have taken
over the years
piled in a bag
end to end
it would encircle the earth

he was unfaithful to me
during our wedding
he had a quickie
with my best friend

five pregnancies
two miscarriages
where was he?
in las Vegas
entertaining clients

gave me lots of money
had a maid, a nanny and a chauffeur
never talked to me
he was always busy
talking business????on the phone

paid for my up-keeping
my breast augmentation
my tummy tuck
my face lift
those beautiful clothes
my blonde hair
constantly dieting
or going to the gym

i never saw my children
the help took care of them
i was busy playing hostess
to powerful men
when school age
all five were sent
to good private schools
the best my husband could afford

he came first - he made sure i knew
consented to be submissive
in return for the palace i lived in
caterers always delivering delicacies
fresh flowers come every day
totally ignored me in every
single way

i was just the brood mare
of good stock
to give him five children
and then to be his wife
give him the look of
a solid citizen
a family man
a politician

my lover was the mechanic
who took care of our cars
my husband loved to drive
the beamers
especially one
which could sit only two
the other passenger
never was me

Joe fixed the breaks really well
my husband took off for work
later the papers
had his obituary
Joe was in Thailand by this time
and i was in the hospital
in psychiatry

i threatened suicide
on the death of my husband
and in this state
there is a law
you must be hospitalized
under these conditions

they gave me so many drugs
i was incoherent
and the police could not question me
Joe was nowhere to be found
the children all flew in
for the funeral and the eulogy
he was a fine man, a good man
a father and a son
a philanthropist
who loved his community
wanted the best for humanity

his father - the judge
intervened when the police
smelled a rat
the preliminary hearing
was thrown out
for lack of evidence

i have a quiet life
with ladies that do lunch
take some lovers
for my entertainment
but spend most of my time
doing charity work
for abused women
for with them
i can identify.

Time
Am I feeling better??
How could I feel better
when nothing has changed?
everything is still the same
the tears
the pain
the building rage.
the struggle
the fight
the sleepless nights
the painful thoughts in my mind
do I seem better to you?

How am I?
How should I be?
when you say
you need me
completely contradicting
everything
you said to me.
that you would
never be okay
and you don't
have the strenght
to deal with me this way
so you tell me
how am I

what am I going to do?
you put the
decision on me
so you can
keep your hands clean
and remain guilt free
and everyone can think
that I'm the selfish one


You make up
your mind
and decide
that you need some time
and I look like the bad guy
so I don't know
what to do!

One step forward, Two steps back

As I hold you tightly in my arms
Tearfully you try to break free
But you seem not to realise
I can't simply let you go
After all that we have been through
You can't just walk away

The words we told each other hurt, I know
But can we forsake what we have
because of words said in the heat of the moment
I cannot deny that I never thoughts of those things I said
But I never wanted to say them to you

For without you who am I?
You, who stood by me when times were tough
When the weight of my world was too much for me
Times when thoughts of suicide were more of visions
You stood by my side, unwavering
You showed me that even in darkness, there is light

And thats why I cant let you go
Please don't hate me for being selfish
This dance you and I dance
This dance that Brings more misery than happiness
One day, we will get it right
One day, we will find a way to move forward