DOG DAZE

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Two entries maximum.

Collaborations welcome (credit will be split).

Any length, any style.

Good Luck!

Strider

just my luck/
last night i drank so much/
i got drunk/
and started tellin people i love pit bulls and woke up a pug/
this shit sucks/but atleast i can lick my own nuts/
and ride down the road with my tongue/slappin out the window in the truck/
i can shit on the floor and somebody else will clean it up/
i'll never get botox/and i don't need to wear no socks/
sometimes i wander off and get so lost/
meander into a weed field and eat up the whole crop/
this is actually neat/
all i have to do is shit sleep/and eat/
go ahead leave the door cracked just a crease/
i'll be out nailing that cute lil pomeranian down the street/
i'll bark my ass off at every strange noise i hear/
especially when you're hungover and holdin your ears/
i'm gonna start drinkin again once you teach me how to open the refrigerator to get you a beer/
but once you get fucked up again/with your friends/
hittin that booze/
i'll be in the back chewin on your shoes/
i ain't got nothin to lose/
besides what my collar?/ holla/
why is it so much easier for a k-9 to never have known his father?/
people always try to talk to me like out of some strange baby book/
so i just cock my head sideways and just give em a crazy look/
just keep me inside when it's cold/
ever once in a while throw me a bone/
really i do have a soul/
but they don't shit it's animal control/

That's the spirit and a great start johnrot!

Strider

Is it just me or is it you too,
I mean, I know that party was a bit fun,
And I was expecting a hangover or migraine,
But not really this...
The world suddenly has been dimmed,
Red's have turned black,
No longer primary colors,
In this now pastel pallet,
I'm shorter than usual,
Which is kind of a fail,
For I was too short to begin with,
Dear Lord! Wait a moment!
I have a tail!
Now this isn't right,
I'm covered in fur,
Ugh, why fur, I already had to deal with hair,
What am I anyway?
Some kind of dog?
"Ha wouldn't that be funny!"
I say as I walk down the hall,
To check a mirror to figure out,
Why my growth spurt changed into shrinking,
And so I saw my furry little self,
Almost stopping dead,
For I had suddenly become a chiwawa,
A little rat dog,
Is it just me or is it you too,
For I'm feeling a little unsettled,
But that could be normal,
At least I'm not a poodle...




*LOL I love your comp. That was fun to write!*

DOGGIE STYLE

I stretch,reach to rub my face
I open my eyes
where my hand was
there's a paw in it's place
what the hell is that?
I try to say to myself
when I open my mouth
I hear a yelp
sounds like a dog to me
damn that was one crazy party
I walk across the floor
to a full length mirror hanging on a door
afraid to look-I take a quick peak
there's a pit bull looking back at me
white with a black ring around my eye
MY GOD! am I reincarnated?
did I die?
okay, let me think..
last thing I remember is that drink
something about the taste
wasn't quite right
must be what put out my lights
but turn me into a dog?
why?
who?
there was that one dude
from across the room I felt his stare burn
he tried to speak to me once
I told him "get fucked"
maybe I shouldn't have been such a bitch
and let him scratch his itch
ha ha I'm the itch scratching bitch
OKAY..so I'm a dog!
nothing I can do
so what now?
I can play, bark and scratch
or I can lick my own ass
I could sniff around-find a mate
I'm a bitch in heat now
guess I'll have to go fuck
doggie style

I wrote this a while ago but what the hell
I edited it a bit so it would fit a bit better with the prompt


melancholia canina

Angry on rejection
i was a bitch on fire 
sprinting on cobblestone
taking little notice of 
my shattered left heel 
or the rash spreading 
from my silver watch 
to my upper arm
and whether I 
saw primary
secondary or tertiary 
did not matter
I was feeling raw
like the blood 
and matted hair 
that glistened on my 
leathery palms
which I could tell 
wasn't from no 
paper-cut
still everything seemed 
so unimportant compared to 
my animalistic desires..

it's pretty vague
I know but one things
for sure I couldn't stop 
howling

not at the moon 
but for you. 

"Bred into madness"

Quinn was smashed off his face
Comparing master dog breeders to Nazis
Fuck, he made some valid points
We got absolutely hammered
Drank more than we could account for
Locking up the front and back doors
I crash out on my couch
Blacked out and totally fucked up
Opening my eyes
It's in a completely different direction
That i'm used to my eye-lids going
Fucking fur? And Paws?
I'm.. dreaming?
Itching everywhere..
Clenching my teeth
The teeth are piercing my tongue
And the saliva drips from my mouth.
A leash tightens around my neck
A human is at the end of this leash
He is of class and he is of taste
The desirer of the master pedigree.
He believes he has attained mastery
In the Aufgeht German Shepherd dog
That is me, that is reflected in the prize show mirror
And my cage, sits idly by
Awaiting it's prisoner
That is of such royalty and regalty
That belongs forever
In a horrible little cage.
I got to get out of here.
I've been bred into madness
And groomed to the (ka)nine.
I suddenly and with overwhelming force
Lash and writhe free of the leash
Ripping and shredded by my teeth
I escape the holding area
And run for the unknown.

Thanks for the entertaining and unique competition Strider! Good fun, and a total refresh of what I usually write.

Angry Trees


Say now, what have...

Whoa! Easy there killer.
I seem to remember
when getting to know you
involved a dinner...
or a drink...

Yeah, this is me,
growling and howling
in the New Year
with a scratch behind
the ear and a pat
on the head, and a
boot to the ass
from whatever
joker was put in charge
of what happens next.
I mean, I had plans here,
all of which
involved walking erect,
opposable thumbs and a...

Freaking itch.
So where was I?

I was just thinking
that maybe the Hindu
might be onto something.
Talk about no forewarning.
I mean, I get it;
but one would think that
jumping from one species
to the next, there'd be a
bit... you know, transition.
That if you were going
to become what they had once
taught us were merely
senseless creatures;
that they might at least
choose a more defined breed.
Maybe set you up with
some hot owner that just adores...

Okay, that could be bad.
Maybe a porno dog?
Yeah-no, maybe better
to consider other
career options.

The short story
is that I am a dog
of questionable heritage
and pedigree.

Yeah! Fuck you too buddy!
At least I am not
headlining up for some
damn dog show. I am...
or at least I was,
old enough to remember
when a dog was just a dog.
It ate, slept, shit,
chewed on just about
everything it could,
and pissed on the floor.
Go lick your ass!

Fucking poodles.
What is it with
these French dogs
anyways? Looks like
they are wearing
cotton balls,
a pom-pom on their head;
and then think
that they are the shit.

You can have it brother...

Fricking itch again.

So, it seems that I
am one of those
sort of dogs. You know--
everybody wants a cute
little puppy, and next
thing you know--
wow! it's a dog.
It doesn't do what
you want,
and it isn't
so cute anymore;
so you take
a little ride and open
up the back door.

Or maybe you move away,
and where you are moving
don't accept pets--
so you just forget
to pack the dog.

Whatever, I've heard worse.
There's this pit-bull terrier
down the way that gets most
of his training with
two-by four. That's kind
of the easy part, as you
really do not have to do
anything to take an ass-whupping.
His nights involve killing
one, or more, of his own kind,
just for one more day of what?
Ass-beatings and starvation.
He has no name. No shots,
or tags-- and everybody,
including the humans
that keep him,
are afraid of him.
What a life.

Me? The worst I got to
worry about is the dog catcher.
I am not even sure if I am
in a state that will keep
their animals alive, as long
as they are nothing like
ol' John Q. Pitbull.
It probably wouldn't be
all so bad for him,
to go down easy,
and all of the bullshit
just suddenly stops.

He's broken man, and
nobody really knows how
to fix that. You can't just
let him go, say be free
and let him be. And he is
way the fuck gone and beyond
the cute and cuddly stage.
Poor fucker looks like
an old chew toy, and nothing
really works anymore, aside
from the mean-ness...
which is really the only
thing keeping him alive.

Yeah, you really see it
when you are down here,
on all fours, trying to
figure out where your next
meal is coming from;
or the next person you
meet could be one that
wants to take you home,
give you a bath
and feed you for no other
reason than companionship.

OR, it could be someone
with a dog-glitch.
You could get kicked,
poisoned, shot, run over...

Whatever.

I remember that philosopher
(I think he was French too)
asking you some dumb ass
question about a tree falling
in the woods,
and nobody really
noticing.

The answer to that question
is to take a walk down
this street and look
for a pit-bull terrier
chained up in the back yard...

Try to go pet him asshole.

No one really wants
to notice the bad shit,
until it becomes a problem.
Then they want to kill
off all pit-bulls.

Yeah, that should probably fix it.

*Sorry for the length, but aside from the original intentions of the write-- of the four dogs in my house, only one has not suffered some kind of abuse from previous owners. For the record, I really don't mind poodles, which has very little to do with the French. If I really was trying to poke fun at them, I would have brought up my daughter's basset hound (Also a French breed of dog, in a what in the hell were they thinking sort of thing, as with the poodle.) I'd be lying to say that recent events didn't come into play as well, but I also covered the contest guidelines. I am a little of this and a little of that, which if I were a dog, would hardly get me considered for AKC. As for the rest, well...*

Uley

Fellow Poets,

I will be back with a winner tomorrow, promise.

Many good writes to choose from...Happy Holidays!

Strider :D

Fellow Poets,

I read and re-read.  I like every single write!  You poets did not make it easy. So, I went back to the rules and tried to characterize it.  I liked the angst of JohnRot.  Queen Alyssa had a cute touch.  Malfman heh heh :D, Carla-a beautiful poem but missed the party-part, Fist and awe captured some raw spirit as well, Uley-Bone gave us a slice of his life.
Again, all great entries...I can only choose one.

JohnRot got this one.

Thanks to all who entered this comp..KEEP WRITING and COMPETING!

Strider  

Well done Johnny!