Scars

Walking down the street to your house
late at night with my guitar
and lyrics screaming to spill from my mouth
i get to your window and knock for you to let me in
i see you in the moonlight
lips twisted in your final grin
you are hanging in the closet
barechested with wrists slit
youve given me a memory i'll never forget
i'm the first to find you
hanging there blank stared
your mom and dad are at the bars
getting drunk, they dont fucking care
your note reads "I'm sorry Michael,
I can't sing for your band anymore."
that's it... nothing more. no goodbyes
no apologies, no insight in to what it was to be you
i blame your family, and the kids at school
i blame myself for not telling you how much i fucking loved you...

Hands:

Rough and calloused
and tracing shapes into
my skin.

The thin digits leave
bruises of force upon
my body.

My thighs are yanked
apart.

They bring blood, swift
and painful.

They steal away the innocence
that I depended upon to stay
sane in the midst of insanity.

Those hands took away my
childhood.

They took away me.

Scarred Morality

A permanent beauty mark
Another piece of the puzzle
To my turbulent life
Hardened scab
Waiting to get picked
Reaching for my cocoa butter
Imaginary vanishing cream
Hoping to make it disappear
No luck

Guilt and shame
Pity and sorrow
I don't need it
Uncomfortable stares
Pointing fingers
Beautiful strangers
Dumbfounded by the mystery
Of my symbol
Left behind by conflict

Judged by many
Admired by few
Labeled as a bad ass
Too good for perfection
Scraped and scratched
Me and my flaw
Have become attached
Best of friends
A map to my hurt
Read between the lines

Across my skin
Deep and thin
Almost succeeded
In ruining my self esteem
No more disguises
No more hiding
Exposing the truth
Yes here I am
Raggedy Ann's brother Raggedy Andy

Stapled and sewn
Surgically damaged
Stitches removed
But not the scar
Left behind by circumstance
And consequence
A reminder
Fighting solves nothing
Lesson learned

Strider said:“Skin Left”

I wear my mistakes
on my face and in other places,
some are like military badges,
earned from broken love,
barroom brawls incited by ethanol,
home construction and my pets.
When seen, my chest puffs out to
compete with the others unseen,
like submarines,
they run silent,
they run deep,
visual re-mind-ers that
keep me together.
I would like to
think I’m the more wiser, but
I continue to get them, and
there is only so much skin left.



absolutely love it. " there is only so much skin left "

"I Think I Got The Point"

Lint penetrates flesh  
blood cells dance a tango  
lungs containing air  
punctured like a dieing balloon  
become deflated and blue.  
incredible pain  
eyesight becomes hazy  
impossible to see.  
the air fills with    
bubbles  
with tiny decreasing circles  
of vertigo.  
up becomes down  
black becomes white  
tainted with a ghastly  
shade of red.  
the present is in free fall  
the future looks out of bounds  
"Does it hurt"  
"yeah, i think i got the point"

"Ready?" He asks    
   
I can hardly keep still    
Nodding and screeching    
"YESSS!"    
   
He peels his hands    
away from my eyes    
Lifts my chin    
Points to the mantlepiece    
   
"Look there, Girl"    
   
I see the thing up there    
All shiny    
wrapped in gold    
Big (too big) bow on it's front    
and some animal-thing in me    
wants to tear it apart and shove it down my throat    
before my mouth even knows what's happened    
   
"You want it, Girl?" he asks    
   
I give him my best pleading look    
   
"Well, it's yours ... If.... "    
   
Didn't understand much of what he was going on about    
but taking off my dress sounded easy enough    
And I never saw an egg as big or as pretty before    
   
"Good girl.. See what you do to me?"    
he points toward himself    
"Now come here"    
   
All I have to do, is..    
   
   
   
"put my...    
  where?"    
   
"stand like this?"    
   
".. pl.. ...    
   ....  ???"    
   
   
   
   
Aye. It hurt like hell    
The snot    
The stinging cheeks    
The smell    
The reminder running down my leg    
was all worth-it    
   
I have the best Easter egg in the Shire

That is fucking hard, woman. I'd take a thousand hats off!

Agreed

I love the last line, very well put.

Wraith

The naughtiest, black dress      
hangs crumpled on a corner of yesterday        
     
I watch her body float      
the memory        
always on top      
always warmer than my own      
     
Her cup        
a familiar cocktail of skin      
smooth belly browner than a nut      
a whirl of thighs & ripe-berry breasts      
responsively defying years--      
touché and cheers      
     
I should leave        
but the door in my head stays locked      
the sigh of my smile helpless      
key ungraciously swallowed        
two fucked-up lifetimes ago      
     
She's on me now      
greedy fingers tearing away jeans      
long expensive nails raking their way in      
Angry fists pound at my chest        
she calls me 'bastard'      
drawing blood then forcing my heart        
to drown in the echo of her soul        
     
I despise my weakness        
though it was all she left        
Her scent is milk      
and I am rising      
mortality harder than stone      
meeting each cruel gush      
that thunders delicious        
from her womb      
     
There is never any mention of love      
surely not from me      
but when you have no room for breath      
forever's always lost      
beyond a world too damned to dream.

On my bed I grabbed my trusty blade
Put the metal on skin
Slicing away the hurt of that day
Forgetting for a few minutes of my troubled life

Cleaning up, packing away my best friend
Finally looking in the mirror
Being scared by the girl looking back at me
I was not who i used to be and that scared me

Errant Subsidiaries

never measuring up to authoritative ideals
or to an absent father
outside of the beatings
rape only for sissie
couldn't protect her
until it was too late
beauty knows the pain of jealosy and hate
then I'll never measure up
for I swear against these misdeeds
I vow to never shame
the comfort of my own seed

Poem by:
M.E.L.

Trying to be a man
Trying to earn respect
Young boys did what had to do
Now what did they expect?

Nightmares,secret fears,tears...
At that time it was all fun
But now I see the evil of our deeds
And its killing me faster than a gun

She fell in love with the wrong guy
Clueless about love and shy
While she was busy falling in love
This guy had a different plan

Then gang banging was the in thing
Adolescents trying to be hard and tough
Once they were in the guest inn
Everything turned out rough

She was having a nice time with her guy
Not knowing others were eagerly waiting
Once the sign was given
We all came out from where we were hiding

All of us were boys she knew too well
All friends of her boyfriend
All intending to get down with her
How could she resist them?

She looked to her man for explanation
But he could care even less
She was all on her own amidst wolves
She could only do her best

She tried but our young strong arms prevailed
Having her in turns she pleaded,screamed and wailed
But her pleas met deaf ears
She was mercilessly used and abused

She had no one to confide in
She loved the boy too much to make him pay
In her lonely,miserable world she stayed
Locking everything within

At a point it became unbearable for her
She could no longer live with it
She wrote us a very touching letter
After which she swallowed the pills

Many years after her demise
I still see her eyes
I often hear her scream and plead
If she was here I would apologize

But she's gone for good
Leaving me in this pathetic mood
The guilt's overbearing
And I truly wish I could turn back the hands of time