How daring are you?

lulumydog said:enjoyed this poem running turtle.x karen

It seems to me that forgiving ourselves for being who we are is about as daring as we can get, Karen.

thanks for that running turtle.x karen

Atakti said:[quote-145689-runningturtle87]

Here I am nearly
as naked can be,
the long and the short
of the old codger me.

runningturtle87

Me at 59.

*Applause* yep, pretty daring[/quote]

In The House Of Sin~

One night, last year, I was walking the town

Drunk and alone, not a soul to be found.

When I Came by a house that was borded and bare,

This strange and incredible feeling drove me to see what was there.

I went through the door and right as I walked in

All over the walls, written in blood, it said "SIN".

A Woman in the corner said "Welcome, Son.

Leave your head at the door cause here you wouldn't want one."

And she gave me a tour, one I wont soon forget,

Of the house She called home, where the Wicked slept.

She said "Come with me, beyond door number one,

At first you'll be scared but then you'll have fun."

She opened the door and, sure enough, a chill

Ran up my spine and I thought I'd be ill.

Lining the walls were naked bodies bound,

Some of them dead but most were making sounds.

Cries for help muffled by gags and tape.

She said "Look around, which Soul will you take?"

At first I repeled at the thought of death,

And then deep inside the thought quivered my breath.

I made up my mind and plucked one off of the wall,

Then she said "How do you wish to make this one fall?"

I didnt reply, instead I dropped to the ground,

Then looked up at her calmly and said "Hold Him down."

I know this sounds weird and you may not understand,

But I wanted to take that mans soul with my hands.

What I did next was just a little grotesque,

So if you happen to be squemish look away from this text.

I bit a hole in his stomach, so my thumbs could fit,

I shoved them in deep and I started to rip.

His skin tore apart like a button-up shirt,

And He passed the fuck out, so I know that it hurt.

I reached under his ribs, pulled out his still-beating heart,

I put it into my mouth and just tore it apart.

Then the woman looked up at me and into my eyes,

And said "There's the Abyss, Boy, I see it inside.

Now lets move along cause here we dont waste Time,

We must be on our way to see what else you can find."

We came to door number two and all that she said

Was "Here you'll find Pain, so at the door leave your head."

She opened the door and I was pulled and forced in,

Then tied to a table, needles stabbed in my skin.

I fell suddenly to a motorless state,Unable to move or even see straight.

Laughter, I heard, then a voice next to me,

"Now that you have seen, you must FEEL torturing."

Then a cold blade fell upon my bare chest,

I could feel the warm blood running down from my breast.

But the Pain didnt hurt, it was more Pleasure, in fact,

I was enjoying it so and she didnt hold back.

She paused for a moment, then pulled out some rings,

Pierced my skin then shoved them in and sent me into dreams.

I woke up to find I was hanging from a beam,

I felt a pain so intence I had to fuckin scream.

She looked up at me and said "I told you leave your head,

Now you'll see how true Pain feels and wish that you were dead."

She grabbed my arms and pulled on me until the rings ripped out,

One by one, then all at once, until I fell unto the ground.

Once more the pain was so extreme it sent me to a Dream.

I woke to find her stitching me and singing lullabies,

She looked at me and softly said "There's the Abyss, behind those eyes.

I knew you were the one when you came walking in,

And now you'll never leave this old House of Sin.

You can go, but you cant leave, this house now has your soul,

You're destined to do wicked things that no one can control.

Now lets go to the basement where the deal is set in stone,

And if you are the one I think, you'll come back up alone."

She led me to the basement where she took off all her clothes.

How long I made  Love to her, only some corpses know.

She screamed out in pure extacy with only moments left,

And as She came I kissed Her lips And bit into her neck.

She smiled as She slipped away And faded into Sleep.

I promised Her Forever and Her Soul I would keep.

I left my soul right there that night, though I was not aware,

And now, in me, the ones I take are all that you'll find there.

As I left the house that night I set flames all around,

Then walked away, just out of sight and watched it all burn down.

Now that the house no longer stands it can be any one,

And I will make a note of it to see the damage done.

So lock your windows and your doors, or you might let us in,

And find yourself forevermore resting inside The House of Sin.

A world where screaming is silent
So i keep quiet
Praying you will pass my bedroom door tonight
I count your steps
You stop at my door
Drunk
Shaking as the door opens
Sliding deeper into the covers
Thick chains yanking me out of bed
Touching forbidden places
Whimpering
Stinging on my cheek
Bruising where the restraints were
Resistence
Screaming as you force youself into me
Again
Shutting out the disgusting world
Nothing
Door closing
You are gone yet still here
Ruined

Black & Blue

There was this guy I used to date
Who demonstrated his love for me with so much hate
After he caressed my face it left a bruise
Even after I won an argument I lose
I lost my crown as he beat me down
He found joy in smacking me around
The walls echoed his voice calling me a "stupid ass nigger"
It must have been a turn on for him because it made his manhood bigger
He didn't grow a pair he somehow stole mine
I just felt trapped and so confined
I tried to avoid him as he cheated on me with cocaine
But he came looking for me to inflict more pain
I hide my face in shame to mask the marks
Scared to see the light I'd cry in the dark
As far as sex I couldn't enjoy it for what it was
It felt like winter everytime we made love
Cold and lifeless reminded me of death
I was at the point where I thought I took my last breath
So I left with what little life I had left

Molestation

I forgive you for loving me like that
You couldn't help yourself you had to give my ass a pat
I was underdeveloped but that didn't matter
You didn't give a fuck if my childhood was scattered
You had to get yours and you had to get it fast
You took off my clothes real slow like you wanted it to last
You kissed my lips and whispered "Don't tell nobody."
Then left a trail of wet kisses all over my whole body
You tickled my anus with the tip of your tongue
I guess you liked the flavor of inexperienced and young
What did I know? I was only in second grade
You said go down on you but I was very afraid
You wanted to stick your finger up my booty
But I got scared and asked "Isn't that kind of fruity?"
But you pinned me down and said "This isn't going to hurt much.
Besides no one's going to know this stays between us."
To be continued...

Sugar Daddy

Hey there daddy you in need of a son?
Give me an allowance and I can be the one
To clean your house and cook your meals
But first we're going to play "Let's Make A Deal"
Give me money and take me shopping
And that's my word I'll keep the sex rocking
What you thought you got me with your looks?
I mean you alright but you also off the books
Don't worry I'll keep a 9 to 5 on the side
In case all of a sudden you finally decide
To wisen up and say enough is enough
Come home one day and you throwing out my stuff
My job is to show you how much I care
Run my fingers through your salt and pepper hair
Run your bath water give you back messages
Show me off like a trophy to your entourages
Potential fathers that like to floss
Careful you might introduce me to my next boss
If he's giving out money like an ATM
I might ditch you and go fuck with him
It don't take much to keep me employed
Just keep shelling out them dollars to bring me joy
Take care of your son and I'll keep you happy
Adopt me and be my sugar daddy

Shut the Fuck Up

I'm tired of listening
I'm tired of smiling
Can't you see my eyes glistening
Silence your words so beguiling

Can't you see that I hate you?
Can't you hear the vemon in my words?
My last strands of sanity are so few
They take flight as though they are startled birds

Shut up!  Shut up!
I won't listen!
You I'll refuse to worship
I will not heed as you beckon

Your honeyed words will not take hold
I'll not hear your voice any longer.
I am not yours to be bought and sold
My resistance can only make me stronger.

Shut up!  Go die!
I'm going to escape from here soon
Every syllable from your lips is a lie
And I swallowed each of them with a silver-painted spoon

I'm so ashamed
I want to die
Even though I'm yet untamed
I'm slowly breaking before your eyes

Shut up! Just shut up!
Shut up! Go die!
Shut up!  Shut up!
Don't look at me with those eyes!

I hated you then and I hate you now
You're so cold to me
Shut the fuck up, and I'll forget how
You died too suddenly

By my scarred and bloody hands

I gaze into the sight of the one i want
their eyes blaze with passion
i rush them inside my home
our legs have much to hasten
clothes swirl in a tornado of our lust
the time has come
we waited to long
our mouths cant stop
our senses are a blunder
outside is perfect with the whirlling thunder
bodies so hot steam swirls around
as the one i love throws me to the ground
the passion is intense i can not stand
i moan so loud as much as i can
it only speeds up
our love and our passion
we are yet to relize
the sneaking assissagin
he comes so close yet we havent seen
he strikes with his knife
now our lovemakeing bleeds

The Skeleton In Me
         
Simply put          
I want to slit his throat          
There would be no greater satisfaction          
Than to watch him bleed out          
           
Then just for kicks          
I’d piss on his perishing humanity          
Like he’s done for years          
           
I would not resist the urge    
To stomp on his skull          
Until it feels like a pine cone          
Breaking under tremendous force          
           
I’d give him no burial          
Because he does not deserve one          
No, he’d be food for the dispassionate beasts
Much like himself          
           
Such pleasure I’d receive          
Basking in his death    
And the look of surprised horror on his face    
When he realizes this is the end          
       
While he’s hanging onto his last shred of breath          
I’d kneel down and whisper          
"She’s mine now          
Enjoy hell"        

A Reoccurring Nightmare

An otherwise pristine scene
Turns into personal torment
I see it happen in a flash
He is taken under by a rouge wave
My pet, my companion
Struggles to keep his head right
Within inches of life he bobs beneath
But for him the end isn’t near
My husband leaps to his rescue
My son follows his father’s example
Both my love and my life dive in
The murky depths swallow them all
I am left abandoned upon the shore
Breathing in a nightmare that upends my heart
And pierces my reality with a torturous boom
While they sink into the abyss of lonesome death
I stand agape with toes clawing the sand
Unbelieving the seconds that have strangled me whole

As if God played a wicked game and they the prize
I see my pet, my companion suddenly rise
From the white washed depths of salt and sea
He swims to me, he swims to me
It is then I can’t believe my eyes
As my son, my husband, my everything dies
Against the furry wet comfort and a wagging tail I cry
How in an instant my world is gone
I’m all alone as they sink below
Without a goodbye I kneel and mourn

One Dimensional Man
 
There is nothing within that carcass of a body but fear
Hiding on the underside of flesh is only wasted space
In the womb of sinew fit for life resides but emptiness
The absence of a pulse befits you golem, vampire, leech
Who are you but a tragedy in a world of wicked ways
An abomination of heaven’s humility and grace turned evil
 
Were I huntsman of the damned you’d be my mark
Time would not weep for your death, miserable devil
Nor would tears fall at the agony of your screams
Your impression upon the faces of the innocent would fade
For what they called you once would turn to dust as would your bones
And the echoes of your legacy would pale with time
 
You exude pride and vanity, but you hold no value
Yours is a false impression of self that resonates within
And you wear it well, so well that your identity shallows as you speak
Losing yourself to the murmurs of your poisonous mind
Where beneath the helmet of bone that houses your voice
Decay runs its course as your insanity paints the world in sin
 
Where did trust go that paranoia and delusion now take up residence
Riches are given to you but you turn them away as if they’re tainted
Hands stretch toward you with humility yet you refuse them
You bigot, you hypocrite, you devalued abhorrent tyrant
The time has come for you to fall upon your double-edged sword

Forced Paradise
 
My mood matches the darkness
As he pushes me against the old leather backseat
Of his rusty ‘81 Chevrolet Commodore
It’s peeling everywhere and feels rough against my skin
Like the porous and volcanic sand of an island
Only it’s so cold
That no matter what I do
I cannot rid my bones of the chill
 
I’ve found how easy it is to escape
After so much practice
I focus on the nearby streetlight to quell my nerves
Then I let it happen
 
I’m on holiday
In therapeutic isolation
Basking in the warm tropical rays
Sipping a Sex on the Beach
Watching the tide rise
 
The waves pound the shore
Steam rolling it with the fury of God
And in my mind
I am fine