Epic Competition of the Ages

[font=Times New Roman]Come one, come all! This is the bound to be the biggest competition deepunderground has seen so far!

The rules are simple and go as follows:

The submitted poem must be
1) at least 500 words long excluding title.
2) in Times New Roman font.
3) in the default font size used in deepundergroundpoetry.
4) the only poem submitted by a single author.

-Subject matter is the authors discretion
-Rules must be abided by, or entries will not be judged
-I will be judging the entries myself, as I will refrain from entering a poem
-Colored font will be allowed, in the case that it serves a purpose in the poem.

Good luck to all contestants! I look forward to seeing some amazing literature, and look forward to reading them all.
May the best poet win!!

Results of judgment will be released on the 26th day of September when it occures in the U.S.A.

Sounds great.

(though I'm more of an arial kinda lady myself)

:P

do we post here itself kylee?

Yes my dear, please post here.

Morning Walk

Morning walk on summerdays is cool.
Elusive comfort,
From stifling intimate insides.
The river trembles blue-green
A ghost of her happy self.
Pruned up, docile
Like a reprimanded teen
Reminded of her feminity.
Washerwomen squat on muddy banks
Wondering perhaps what next.
Cracked heels make wan love
To creviced, sterile earth,
Moist passion is a faraway dream!
Clothlines too sag in obeisance
They havent forgotten
Blinding blue of yesterday’s sun.

The market wakes up.
Self-absorbed watermelons,
Deceptive yellow smiling mangoes
Like ripe breasts longing male callous
And the fake-green of  tender cucumbers.
Tea-shops bustle with lorry-drivers
Lapping up ‘strong’ tea
And beedi smoke,
Leering at the buxom road worker
On the sidewalk.
She sits before her make-shift stove
Bubbling rice gruel in dented pot
A face half covered behind faded orange sari
Runny-nose rushes to her, eager
For his first and perhaps only full meal.
Can she have any nutrition fad?
Or fear of bulging love-handles?
The only statistics vital to her
The two, three notes counted out diligent
And palmed up quiet in dusty rough
Unmanicured hands.
Only those glass bangles laugh
Blue and green.

Back then, when innocence was still possible
We girls kept blue-green peacock feathers
In thick bound school note-books.
Beacuse blue-green feathers gave birth
To smiley blue-green little ones
If  kept hidden and pressed
For twenty eight days.
Preserved
Unseen,untouched,in a world of silent darkness
Wombs of wet , feminine darkness

The flute-god in the temple would wink then
Enticing silly girls
Thinking of blue-green pregnant feathers
With his own blue-green glory
That was a long time ago!
When the flute -god was god still
And could not be held guilty
Of binning
Or for stone-hard smiles
From golden-lit sacred faraway sanctums.
In the temple ground
A thousand pots froth studious
Rice and jaggery, ghee and grated coconut
Pious offering
Patient sweating to woo back
A wayward god from his morning orgy
Smoke rings rise, clueless
Unanswered prayers.
Vermillion and sandalwood paste
Snake down anxious foreheads.
Rivulets down the spine.
Soaked sarees hug worshipping bodies,
Like second skin,
Hands ever pressed together
In addictive devotion.

From the temple it is return journey for me
Back  home.
Home.
Cut off from the outside sun
Orange curtains ward off.
Mellowed fury.
Contained.
Away from ogling eyes,
Heat and dust
Away from the road-worker's pavement world.
My unkempt little home!
The always pending
Things-to-do-list on the fridge
Which I overlook sometimes for shame.
The faint buzz of clothes washing.
Books still unread in the shelves,
The tiny riverside balcony
Where we made mad love
And him.
Everything smelling of him
Me too!

Back home
To my world of middle-class worries
Weight-watch,dark circles, frizz-free conditioners
Wheat-flakes (kellogg’s) in sugar-free milk
Skimmed.
Burst condoms.
Summer rages, broiling heat
A clear-blue, fear-blue summer.
I know, I am the monday he works for
Earnest prudence of starched white collars,
And he, the sunday I enjoy perfect
Simply lolling around.
But, I am not his touch-shy,
Fairy-fair snow.
And I can really, still complain
About two miniscule holes
In my 40% discount reebok.   

The Covenant

I have an agreement,
                                  Unspoken but once
Once was enough
~                                                    ~
My plight is
                    Unrelenting and
                                                Confining,
                                                                   Draining
~                                                    ~
I question
                 The understandings
                                                   Futility
~                                                    ~
Circumstances,
                          Make it impossible
                                                           To fulfill
~                                                    ~
It grips
            My heart, and
                                   Squeezes
~                                                    ~
Shackle me,
                     Words of worth
                                                  Remain
~                                                    ~
I attempt to
                     Appear strong,
                                                Stony
~                                                    ~
I linger,
            On and on
                              In solidarity
~                                                    ~
I hope the words
                           Remain as are,
                                                     Unbroken
~                                                    ~
And no new words,
                                Confuse my brain
                                                               Arrête
~                                                    ~
The partner
                    In unheard pledge
                                                     Je t’aime.
~                                                    ~
My thoughts
                      Like currents,
                                               Ebb and flow
~                                                    ~
Slip into,
                Another bout
                                        Of slow decay
~                                                    ~
I understand
                     It could ever be,
                                     Never to be
~                                                    ~
                                                       As chances pass
                                  Through my
          Heart of glass,
I wait.

*

Fear no evil my dear, I will not desist
I will not take my words of honor to detain them in a cist
This is the reason why we live
To attain the impossibilities we never thought could exist

At long last we will have our day
When we can spend more time than eternity
Contented, simply being
Lazing under a willow, basking in the shade

Fingerprints meet as digits interlink
The hands of our future selves palm to palm
Offering our identities to each other
To do as we please, and relish in life’s ease

Atop the Laurentian Mountains we’ll sit
And contemplate among the midst of mist
How we ever could have lived before this
No past experience was, even near this glorious

Oh but how I only wish that was now
The truth of love would abound around
Like gale force winds blowing down towns
And all that is audible is a significant sound

Reverberations of your voice resound
And off the cliffs they bounce and return
The echo of you is a lovely vice
You speak only once, but I smile to hear you twice

We have been split by borders
Held by our inability cross them
Pained by our willingness to break them
Maddened by the simple hindrance

*

I will make it to you
Have no doubts
It’s a matter of time
It’s a matter of mine
And it matters very much

The mountains can wait
They have seen many days
Rising to the sky
No knowledge of time

The lakes below will shiver in the autumn breeze
As they’re catching orange, red and yellow leaves
I wonder when the next train leaves
The fastest way to get to be

But the killer of souls in this case of mine
Isn’t the place or waiting for time
It’s the restraint, self possession
Keeping me strong from thy

Alas I fear I feel too much
Walking long a rickety wharf
Testing the wood beneath each step
Will it bend and not break, or splinter in half?

And so I wish it would
Plunge me into murky cold
Shock my body and turn it numb
Stay under so long it turns me dumb

For as the wait will continue on
I will continue with my own life
And ask about yours and know the trick
Self control when another finds what could have been

{C16th Iambic Heptameter, Sonnet rhythm and rhyme}

Heaven and You.

The pain I feel rewards me for the time I spend alone,
the tenderness I’d missed became a noose to hang my head.
I sent my only treasures to your grave for you to own,
one day I know I’ll see again your face though you are dead.

My flowers in your lifeless hands, my teardrops in your hair,
I’d give my all, my life, my soul, to kiss you one more time.
It hardly seems it’s possible, I know it isn’t fair,
that all I have are memories, just images and rhyme.

The night I lost you came to be the night I threw my life
into this darkened vision out of which I cannot see,
which one of us was husband, and which one of us the wife?
Disconsolate, I’m guessing that now both of them are me.

I saw you sometimes, faintly though, as if you were still there,
my mind, it played these tricks on me; it wished you were still here.

Those days ago turned into weeks, then months turned into years,
and all this time alone, I’ve felt your presence holding on.
You are the part of me that helps eliminate my fears,
the part I grew to know, to love, and to depend upon.

But now your part is fading, memories begin to haze,
and time itself presents me with no enemy to fight.
I swore to you our love would last until the end of days,
but days’ end comes too slowly for to hold you in mind’s sight.

Ages come, ages pass, and ages ebb and flow in tide,
and still I hold your memory in hope that I will know
a quiet death, a simple death, in which I can confide
my love for you, one final time, before I, willing, go.

I see you sometimes, faintly though, your memory pushing though.
The boatman wants to take it though, he must collect his due.

Will I arrive at Heaven’s door, an end to ever-night,
to see your face, and not remember love, nor even name?
It hardly seems it’s possible, I know it isn’t right,
but that is what will happen, says the boatman, all the same.

With life comes love eternal, for eternity is short,
our lives, the blinking of a candle in the dead of night.
Love shines the brighter candle, over which our wars are fought,
but candles cannot shine inside of heaven’s blinding light.

I won’t remember you, it seems, for they will not abide
the candle’s light brought from our past to enter Heaven’s gate.
Though we will always once have been a groom and blushing bride,
it seems to me that Heaven’s gift is hateful, crushing fate.

I see you sometimes faintly, though the memory’s no more,
I ask myself, it shames to say, what did I miss you for?

I see you sometimes faintly, sometimes wonder who you are;
you seem familiar, though I only see you from afar.

I see you sometimes faintly, outline lost among the throng,
I don’t know you, don’t know myself, and nothing’s ever wrong.

[quote]Missake2 said:
is the competition still open ?

The competition is indeed open until the 26th of September as when it occures in the United States

Thank you to everyone who participated in this competition, it gave me many great lines to read.

As you may have noticed I am declaring the winner later than expected, I would like to sincerely apologize to all of those who participated expecting me to keep my word. Unfortunately my life is not merely comprised of deepundergroundpoetry, for better or for worse, and a rather urgent matter arose in my life outside the forum walls.

The following is feedback from me and not the order of who has come 1st 2nd etc...
I have taken this competition very seriously since the beginning and I’d like to show that to be the truth, I have indeed read all of the submissions and found them very difficult to distinguishably choose a winner, and thus firstly these are my thoughts:

Priyadileep: I loved your depiction of India, I found it very refreshing to read about that which I do not know. It is not often I am able to read poetry that mentions sari's and beedi smoke. I also enjoyed the touch of sensuality, it gave the poem a very intimate feeling. Furthermore, I loved the symbolism of the holes in discount Reebok, very good way to tie the poem together. Unfortunately your submission was in the incorrect font for this competition, that being said, I could not find it in me to disqualify such a lovely poem. All in all a fantastic read, be sure to take into account all rules of submission in competitions to come.

Shytown: The originality of your poem was astonishing. I'm so happy to see that poetry isn't merely being used by you as words on a screen but rather digital artwork with deep meaning. The way the perspective in the poem changes was not difficult to follow and really gave the sense of utmost futility. The poem comes off to me as one of deep sorrow and perhaps hopeless hope, though I still see it as a love poem. My interpretation of the poem is that of someone who is detached from one whom they would love or do love deeply and are torn by distance. I hope you make it to your mountain, my favorite lines from this poem include: "This is the reason why we live
To attain the impossibilities we never thought could exist", "midst of mist" and "...and know the trick
Self control when another finds what could have been"

Fret: The initial striking feature of your poem is by far the title. I enjoyed Heaven and You, I thought it was very concise and represented the poem accurately. I’d like to commend you on being able to write according to structure, in this case, Iambic Heptameter. The only criticism I have is that I find it to be perhaps a bit redundant, though the use of redundancy was well utilized in the final stanza’s to transition into the ceasing twist. I especially enjoyed the final line, “and nothing’s ever wrong.”

Son-of-Perdition: Again the most striking initial feature of your poem I found to be the title, Fettered by a Blue Sky is a very interesting thought indeed, I quite liked the contrast between the blue sky which is normally considered as something very happy, representing sunny days and the stark use of the word fettered, which happens to be one of my favorite words. Your poem moved me intensely. Considering the subject matter was left to the author’s discretion I am most pleased that you would write about something so deeply personal. Some of my favorite features of the poem include the stanza’s describing life through sheet music, very original.  I also loved the way the poem built up to the conclusion, it was semi-secretive in its subject but became extremely apparent in the last stanza, in fact, it brought tears down my cheeks. Those lines give me shivers when I read them, regardless of how many times I read the poem, “I need to go somewhere, I love you, Goodbye”, the Rest In Piece acronym only helps to ensure this poem is intolerably sad and therefore, even more intensely moving.

Missake2: I enjoyed your created structure, I will call it that as I know not of it. However if I may offer my advice, once you’ve chosen to write to a specific structure, any minor discrepancies create major flow problems, the most difficult part of structured poems is consistently following the structure to a T. I do realize that discrepancies in structure could be intentional and used to forward the poem in some way but I did not see that to be the case here. I liked the battle of Man v. Himself, or Woman v. Herself, whichever is preferred, it is a struggle that everyone knows and is easy to relate to. I’d also like to advise you to scrutinize your spelling and grammar, again, I do realize that purposeful misspelling or grammar could be used to reiterate or help to draw importance to a specific part of the poem, after all, one of my poems is completely spelled frenetically, in this poem though I did not find that to be the case. Furthermore, as I said to Priyadileep, please carefully read the rules of submission, you have submitted in the wrong font.  

Thebardross You live up to the history of the bard. In my opinion you are unequivocally the best on this site at syllabic rhyming. It is always a pleasure to read your work, I often had read the back and forth poetry in the 20 words challenge I believe it was. The Globe Trotter is a great and humorous read, as your work tends to be. Your experience in poetry is evident in the round the world journey you have allowed readers to embark on with you. The tone of your poetry is also refreshing as it is very cheerful and the words seem to bounce along. I strive to match your tone but I am generally unable to generate the same feeling with my work. This poem also demonstrated great consistence in structure and capitalization was used accordingly. Great read Bardross, keep ‘em coming.

Again, I would like to thank everyone for their participation, writing long poetry is very difficult, this is why I wanted to have the competition, not everyone has what it takes. You can see I have spent a lot of time reviewing the poetry that was submitted and I’ve tried my best to decide which is best. If anyone has questions about the results of the contest or about my comments please feel free to shoot me a personal message. And so without further adieu, the winner of the Epic Poetry Competition IS…

                              …Son-of-Perdition


                             Runners up:
                             TheBardross
                             Shytown

Thank u Kylee for ur appreciation, n thank u for the competition, it sure was  a lot of fun!:-)I have never written so long a poem myself,and writing this was a fine experience! Congrats SOP, ur piece was so fine, it made my eyes moist, there is remarkable beauty in the way u mingle words!!!!

hihi--- this one is funny thebardross!

Awsome! This was a great competition, thank you for all of your work with running the competition and judging it. It's very clear you take poetry very seriously, thank you for the opportunity.