Tasting Turmoil

Chaos

You came into my life
Showed me everything beautiful
Held me and told me everything’s alright
Made me feel my life was full
You were heaven’s threshold
I was the poor fool

The whirlwind of your uncertainty
Then crashed my world
You put my life on hold
You pushed me into the whirlpool
And made me feel like drowning
In chaos of no, maybe or let’s see

My nights are fragmented now
Between deep, shallow and skates
Ripples that go in squares
Sighs that ends in wails
Tears on my pillows
Emptiness in my heart

You are chaos
Disciplined
I am chaos
A victim
Of my own heart
Chaos reign and I still love
truly.

Conversation With My Shrink

Fuck the judge and the jury
Hell hath no fury
No witch doctor alive has the voodoo to cure me
From the stress I've endured
I've aged not matured
Don't get me started on the size
Of the luggage under my eyes
Can you say "Baggage Claim"
Saying the Lord's name in vain
My vision is cloudy my tears fall like rain
My world is spinning like a hurricane
Seems like all I do these days is complain
About people around me and their fucked up actions
Their strange attraction
To my dissatisfaction
Broken me down just like a fraction
Going blank like a word bubble without the caption
The stress has become overly condescending
So many stories with no happy endings
So many villains
Have numbed my feelings
With phony gestures
Raising my blood pressure
Provoke and poke
Till I have a stroke
This is too much I need a bump of coke
When misery comes over it wears out my couch
I just want these demons out of my house
Overwhelmed with drama I'm in need of a drink
I'm on the brink
The edge of the ledge
Ready to jump
Just to fall in a slump

           Breathless
Its  obvious  and    clear   that  there  is  no  air
Everything  is  dirty, not  one  of  them  is  fair
From  the  time  I  was   an  underdog   now  I  am  a  player
What’s   certain  is  that  u  cant  win  without  a   prayer.

I   have   an  illness, how  can  I  be  prepared
She  is   my  distraction  and  she  never  cares
I   died   for  her  sweetness  that’s  what    dared
Instead  pain  after   that   has  always   stared.

I  thank   her   for   making  me  a   champion
Her  deep    hate  made  my  hustle   a  gabion
I’m  winning   because  of  her  dirty  horn
That  evil  play  gave  me  a  title  like   fabion.

As I   cry   with  pain,I  count  another  trophy
When  I  blame  myself, everyone   knows  me
My  cheeks  are  all  wet, my  flow  becomes   a  gold  list
Thanks   once   again   for  defining  me  shawty.

Burning   just  for  the  sake of  affection
I  love  and  hate  it  being  in  this   situation
After   all   I  will   make  my  creation
And  make   the   best   out  of  this  occasion.

    I  FACE   NIGHTMARES
They want beyond which I cant offer
I'm in this life arena suffering like a soldier
After this that which is dangerous rolls up
And kicks my life dead like I'm in a comma.


No love for me its clearly over
Animals around hurt me in order
Living to my expectations its no longer
I guess they will never call me stronger.


It doesn't kill me because I'm Goldberg
Hate me love me u are off my shoulders
Talk bad put it tough on ya
I repeat I don't care if are a grown up.

Its time for my nightmares to make me a strong man
Flying colors that's the option to foster
No second solutions I go hard and I flow smart
Damn! All the problems I will only get sober.

I face nightmares but I will never say holla
Always making moments because I'm not a toddler
Ever feeling good enemies wont make me softer
I'm a king and I deserve to shine and blow up.

Running scared, partying hard
Blackouts are my playing card

I start out slow then empty the keg
And if I can’t find more, I’d go off or beg

Mornings are hard, waking and not knowing
Do I have on any clothes, did I die, is my blood flowing

Anger should be the feeling
But it is disgust that I am seeing

The real honest to truth agony
Is me dying, that is the tragedy

Drink, lust, greed, oh how my head throbs
There isn’t much I won’t do to escape the people or the mobs

Praying no one got killed or the cops are coming, what happened to the song
I've become someone I don’t even want to know, even though I know it is wrong

Once again it happens, I’m out of control
Slamming my body around, standing, dropping, in disgust I roll

Hurt, shame, pain, and guilt
How did I end up waking up in such filth

Escaping from hell is my drug of choice
This lonely world around me squeezing me like a vice

Why can’t I just die, because after I drink I cry
And ask how much more of this I can take before you help me try

Pressure, responsibility, family and friends
It all squeezes my neck until my throat bends

I don’t want your love, peace, or tranquility
I just want to be left alone until I find my own stability