Poetry competition CLOSED 9th April 2012 1:44pm
WINNER
twistedemily (Emily LeBeaux)
twistedemily (Emily LeBeaux)
RUNNERS-UP:
13
and lightbaron
Inside Insanity
Poetry Contest Description
Write a poem from the inside of insanity... how does it feel to be insane? Are you aware you're insane, or does it feel rational to you, or do you know something is very wrong? What are the thoughts in your head?
Rules
Two entries.
Contemporary poetry only.
New entries only please, and I will be checking.
You have two weeks. >_<
Two entries.
Contemporary poetry only.
New entries only please, and I will be checking.
You have two weeks. >_<
this might not make sense, but hell i've never posted this.
4:00 AM
let me write. empty these vials of serendipity.
unable to cure my illness. incapable to lift myself up.
handicapped and violated. humiliated.
i hear them calling. see me falter.
from behind my eyes. below my shadow.
in the pits of deprivation. seemingly endless voes await.
look through walls to see the end. look to the sky where dead birds fly.
upon ground where wild wolves roam. free as the wind.
they’ve forgotten their way home.
scream to this reflection. and it screams back.
it does not listen. leading my hatred on until i break myself to pieces.
fallen on the floor. i am more than one. shattered.
lying here in bed. saying things i never would have said.
words blend into these walls. into color and emotion.
crying and wailing. they’re naught. sensing the unknown.
whispering to angels. making them smile. watching me die.
things that could not be. clots on my hands. dust on my window.
thoughts in my mind. blood in my throat.
frantically searching my conscience for clues. unsure as hell.
creeping from below my bed. hiding under the sheets.
i can’t think. i need to go mad.
a cold touch on my shoulder. memory taking human form.
witness the birth of an android. love conceives a child.
a woman. a beast. a devil.
i have missed her. i am afraid of her.
society and its black tongue. authority and its principles.
declare war upon innocents. solidify anarchy. dictatorship and slavery.
none shall stand to face them. man is just as weak as he is strong.
somewhere within the echoes of my mind i lost my way.
lost my footing and tumbled down the rabbit hole.
i have no recollection of all that’s been said. i should be quiet.
but i feel my tongue slip. it wants to fall out of my mouth.
just like Judy’s bra. off’ her shoulder. she looked so beautiful last night.
not unlike a regretful wife. i yearned for her for so long.
But her mind is unlike mine. she’s a simple girl. a good girl.
she won’t hurt me even if i hurt her.
if i awake. step by step i'll follow my calling into the void.
where i see nothing. i feel you die again. within my heart.
but i fail to feel pain. while i’m being fed upon by pigs.
with faces of all the people who are important to you. not to me.
because this could also be your sick, twisted nightmare.
so please forgive my irregularity.
and let me write while i empty these vials of serendipity.
they have brought me nothing but misfortune.
“Where am i?”
4:00 AM
let me write. empty these vials of serendipity.
unable to cure my illness. incapable to lift myself up.
handicapped and violated. humiliated.
i hear them calling. see me falter.
from behind my eyes. below my shadow.
in the pits of deprivation. seemingly endless voes await.
look through walls to see the end. look to the sky where dead birds fly.
upon ground where wild wolves roam. free as the wind.
they’ve forgotten their way home.
scream to this reflection. and it screams back.
it does not listen. leading my hatred on until i break myself to pieces.
fallen on the floor. i am more than one. shattered.
lying here in bed. saying things i never would have said.
words blend into these walls. into color and emotion.
crying and wailing. they’re naught. sensing the unknown.
whispering to angels. making them smile. watching me die.
things that could not be. clots on my hands. dust on my window.
thoughts in my mind. blood in my throat.
frantically searching my conscience for clues. unsure as hell.
creeping from below my bed. hiding under the sheets.
i can’t think. i need to go mad.
a cold touch on my shoulder. memory taking human form.
witness the birth of an android. love conceives a child.
a woman. a beast. a devil.
i have missed her. i am afraid of her.
society and its black tongue. authority and its principles.
declare war upon innocents. solidify anarchy. dictatorship and slavery.
none shall stand to face them. man is just as weak as he is strong.
somewhere within the echoes of my mind i lost my way.
lost my footing and tumbled down the rabbit hole.
i have no recollection of all that’s been said. i should be quiet.
but i feel my tongue slip. it wants to fall out of my mouth.
just like Judy’s bra. off’ her shoulder. she looked so beautiful last night.
not unlike a regretful wife. i yearned for her for so long.
But her mind is unlike mine. she’s a simple girl. a good girl.
she won’t hurt me even if i hurt her.
if i awake. step by step i'll follow my calling into the void.
where i see nothing. i feel you die again. within my heart.
but i fail to feel pain. while i’m being fed upon by pigs.
with faces of all the people who are important to you. not to me.
because this could also be your sick, twisted nightmare.
so please forgive my irregularity.
and let me write while i empty these vials of serendipity.
they have brought me nothing but misfortune.
“Where am i?”
Inside The Bell Jar
It's like a switch, almost like a light.
Turning from off to on.
Dark to bright.
The light dims, flickers and goes out.
The manic is replaced by the depressed.
And I can feel it, hanging...
over my head like a descending rain cloud
of a dark and evil storm that's brewing in the distance.
I cover my head to protect from the glass shards
that fall and pierce my skin.
Making me scream out, seeing my blood covered marble skin.
Dripping and draining,
chest pains gripping my heart
as I shiver and shake.
Thoughts of abandonment send me into panic,
making me feel sick with loss and resentment.
I want to cry for help,
beg for someone to save me from this madness
that has stalked since childhood's innocent hours.
When I laid awake at night watching a dark figure loom over me.
Hearing the voices whisper to me, above and inside my head.
The whispering of my name.
The strange shadows that walk through my walls.
And the fear...
The fear of leaving safety,
of being exposed where I can be hurt or embarressed.
And so I hide,
in my darkness.
Inside of my depression,
my lonliness,
my broken soul,
shattered heart,
cut open chest,
inside my madness,
my insanity...
My bell jar.
It decends upon me in my weakest hour.
Making it hard to breath behind thos glass walls.
Everyone can see me but they cannot help.
And thought I want them to, I cannot find the strength to ask.
Inside my bell jar, I am alone.
Inside my bell har, I only a danger to myself.
Inside my bell jar, there is no escape.
Inside my bell jar, self sacrafice is the only way out.
Denial of existence.
Loss of salvation.
Denied
Died.
A soul without a tourniqet.
A forgotten suicide.
It's like a switch, almost like a light.
Turning from off to on.
Dark to bright.
The light dims, flickers and goes out.
The manic is replaced by the depressed.
And I can feel it, hanging...
over my head like a descending rain cloud
of a dark and evil storm that's brewing in the distance.
I cover my head to protect from the glass shards
that fall and pierce my skin.
Making me scream out, seeing my blood covered marble skin.
Dripping and draining,
chest pains gripping my heart
as I shiver and shake.
Thoughts of abandonment send me into panic,
making me feel sick with loss and resentment.
I want to cry for help,
beg for someone to save me from this madness
that has stalked since childhood's innocent hours.
When I laid awake at night watching a dark figure loom over me.
Hearing the voices whisper to me, above and inside my head.
The whispering of my name.
The strange shadows that walk through my walls.
And the fear...
The fear of leaving safety,
of being exposed where I can be hurt or embarressed.
And so I hide,
in my darkness.
Inside of my depression,
my lonliness,
my broken soul,
shattered heart,
cut open chest,
inside my madness,
my insanity...
My bell jar.
It decends upon me in my weakest hour.
Making it hard to breath behind thos glass walls.
Everyone can see me but they cannot help.
And thought I want them to, I cannot find the strength to ask.
Inside my bell jar, I am alone.
Inside my bell har, I only a danger to myself.
Inside my bell jar, there is no escape.
Inside my bell jar, self sacrafice is the only way out.
Denial of existence.
Loss of salvation.
Denied
Died.
A soul without a tourniqet.
A forgotten suicide.
.:The Gauntlet:.
I’ve been attending regular sessions of self-doubt
all while applying self-constriction.
added has been a con's sedition; a condition
fueled by a flamboyant; a heartfelt, fearful, fascination
yet this part of me will remain deeply hidden
my sanest omission; offering final admonition
raw sensitivity will continue as primal
leaving me broken while kneeling
placing me amongst false gods
many of them so appealing
most living moment to moment
tripping about in their haste
alibis created supporting our pathological chase
faux praise for our abysmal taste
where we’ve been track stars in this Never Land of Never
wherein some of us think we’ve actually been quite clever
neatly almost completely severed
heretofore in a place where once we were tethered
our memory banks robbed; disemboweled
cut off and cut apart; sliced clean from the dream
my once superior intellect stumped, then
trumped by my own negligence
but now for the sedulous knight mare;
upon her, we now do ride
we gladly glide and during this trip; in our abnormality
it has appeared we became more & more the agents
representatives of a rabid pestilence and
we've become almost overcome
all this while acting out; running about
here & there amongst competitive serial “self” killers
and during each attack; more & more of us
we’ve been deployed; most minds destroyed
all while egged on by our users
those mental health abusers; they & their kind
seems to me they are never ever the losers
just providing us our ongoing blood lust
it’s been an all inclusive tragedy; for me, for us
the ones winging it with an undeniable insanity
and it’s one that’s been on a constant search & destroy
this while my stilted stammering has been mimicking joy
a falsehood of incoherent sound; my hating to have it around
but it’s what I now speak; chords feeble descending to weak
a plunge wherein certainly there’s to be
perhaps one day a chance for a real emotional healing
yet in still our crazed status, it’s never ending
and as a routine we’re put before The Gauntlet
setting our own self up acting like we really want it
knowing that if we crave it, so shall we get it…bloodied & well done
insanely wasted in a war…a war that’s not to be won
I’ve been attending regular sessions of self-doubt
all while applying self-constriction.
added has been a con's sedition; a condition
fueled by a flamboyant; a heartfelt, fearful, fascination
yet this part of me will remain deeply hidden
my sanest omission; offering final admonition
raw sensitivity will continue as primal
leaving me broken while kneeling
placing me amongst false gods
many of them so appealing
most living moment to moment
tripping about in their haste
alibis created supporting our pathological chase
faux praise for our abysmal taste
where we’ve been track stars in this Never Land of Never
wherein some of us think we’ve actually been quite clever
neatly almost completely severed
heretofore in a place where once we were tethered
our memory banks robbed; disemboweled
cut off and cut apart; sliced clean from the dream
my once superior intellect stumped, then
trumped by my own negligence
but now for the sedulous knight mare;
upon her, we now do ride
we gladly glide and during this trip; in our abnormality
it has appeared we became more & more the agents
representatives of a rabid pestilence and
we've become almost overcome
all this while acting out; running about
here & there amongst competitive serial “self” killers
and during each attack; more & more of us
we’ve been deployed; most minds destroyed
all while egged on by our users
those mental health abusers; they & their kind
seems to me they are never ever the losers
just providing us our ongoing blood lust
it’s been an all inclusive tragedy; for me, for us
the ones winging it with an undeniable insanity
and it’s one that’s been on a constant search & destroy
this while my stilted stammering has been mimicking joy
a falsehood of incoherent sound; my hating to have it around
but it’s what I now speak; chords feeble descending to weak
a plunge wherein certainly there’s to be
perhaps one day a chance for a real emotional healing
yet in still our crazed status, it’s never ending
and as a routine we’re put before The Gauntlet
setting our own self up acting like we really want it
knowing that if we crave it, so shall we get it…bloodied & well done
insanely wasted in a war…a war that’s not to be won
where to begin?..
as i feel my thoughts slipping away
i wish to scream
or not be seen
a great dark cave or someplace safe
but cold and empty is what i find
inside my mind
i dont want compassion
from people who dont know
what its like at every night
to get consumed by thoughts of doom
and so i hide myself inside
to never again
see the light
as i feel my thoughts slipping away
i wish to scream
or not be seen
a great dark cave or someplace safe
but cold and empty is what i find
inside my mind
i dont want compassion
from people who dont know
what its like at every night
to get consumed by thoughts of doom
and so i hide myself inside
to never again
see the light
Purple Train Driving Hippos
The train
clatters on the tracks
travelling through my brain
made of candle wax
The driver is a hippo
he takes me where I wouldn't go
he's purple
with a funny glow
reminding me of what I shouldn't know
winding , binding , inside coves
igniting memory , lightning probes .
I am who I wasn't
and I was
what I am not
all I am is what you see
and the past should be forgot .
Don't taunt then bring
the gone into everything
anylising , scrutinising
none of it's worth realising
it's in the earth
so let it lie then
purple hippos
aren't for finding .
The train
clatters on the tracks
travelling through my brain
made of candle wax
The driver is a hippo
he takes me where I wouldn't go
he's purple
with a funny glow
reminding me of what I shouldn't know
winding , binding , inside coves
igniting memory , lightning probes .
I am who I wasn't
and I was
what I am not
all I am is what you see
and the past should be forgot .
Don't taunt then bring
the gone into everything
anylising , scrutinising
none of it's worth realising
it's in the earth
so let it lie then
purple hippos
aren't for finding .
Anonymous
Would you like to sign this paper-
If not, we will do it for you-
Apparently, it would seem-
I am crazy-(Not the machine)
Into my mind-off I go-
re- arranging vowels-
tripping over word counts-
wording all the hours.
It seems they want to take me-
to a place where they can make me
into one of them-
Oh no,
here I go ..
Get out of my way-
TODAY!!!
Give my radio back-
I don't want to talk.
I don't need to relax.
If that one comes near me-
Oh no, screw you too!
Was that PA announcement
saying I hit you?
THORAZINE
A dream scene
been out long
how long's long been?
and the sign says-
A frown is a smile-upside down!
What the fuck!
where am I now?
Would I like to come out for a snack?
Get another needle-
cause this shit is whack!
How am I crazy-
when it's me who sees ALL-
Your'e just another
rat in a maze-
So small.
If not, we will do it for you-
Apparently, it would seem-
I am crazy-(Not the machine)
Into my mind-off I go-
re- arranging vowels-
tripping over word counts-
wording all the hours.
It seems they want to take me-
to a place where they can make me
into one of them-
Oh no,
here I go ..
Get out of my way-
TODAY!!!
Give my radio back-
I don't want to talk.
I don't need to relax.
If that one comes near me-
Oh no, screw you too!
Was that PA announcement
saying I hit you?
THORAZINE
A dream scene
been out long
how long's long been?
and the sign says-
A frown is a smile-upside down!
What the fuck!
where am I now?
Would I like to come out for a snack?
Get another needle-
cause this shit is whack!
How am I crazy-
when it's me who sees ALL-
Your'e just another
rat in a maze-
So small.
You Can Hear A TicK..
In this man made hell...
Where the wicked dwell...
You can hear A TiCk...
It's the beat of the sick!
Twisted minds of so many kinds!!!
The Devil rules the level of great deeps...
Can you be tricked? Or consumed as a treat?
Follow Me!!!
At the bottom would be the most rotten!
Next comes tainted... Where the blood is painted...
Then you've got spoiled! Like a snake they stay coiled...
Right after that are the ones that attack!
And as you keep going, comes the fear of not knowing,
If you'll then face the beast, with a warm welcome to be his feast...
Soon rises the flames that inflict the most pain...
As it gets hotter, they're like pigs to a slaughter!
"Oh ye of little faith" .... This is the bed in which you have made...
In this man made hell...
Where the wicked dwell...
You can hear A TiCk...
It's the beat of the sick!
Twisted minds of so many kinds!!!
The Devil rules the level of great deeps...
Can you be tricked? Or consumed as a treat?
Follow Me!!!
At the bottom would be the most rotten!
Next comes tainted... Where the blood is painted...
Then you've got spoiled! Like a snake they stay coiled...
Right after that are the ones that attack!
And as you keep going, comes the fear of not knowing,
If you'll then face the beast, with a warm welcome to be his feast...
Soon rises the flames that inflict the most pain...
As it gets hotter, they're like pigs to a slaughter!
"Oh ye of little faith" .... This is the bed in which you have made...
End
everything is so bright.
what is this?
the clarity hurts me,
blood shoots from my arm.
In my heart lay desire.
Never let them take it
Stow it away,
And keep it locked up, it is mine!
None may see… None may feel.
I am alone
Thanking the cold metal
Yearning for blood.
I will keep this, a
New feeling of pleasure
Safe in the embrace of the cold metal.
As red rain falls
Now I shall win!
I will learn to fly.
To kiss the clouds
Yes, I will obey.
the cold metal shall live in my heart.
the clarity burns me.
they all seem so worried…
do they not see the simple genius in this?
everything is so bright.
what is this?
the clarity hurts me,
blood shoots from my arm.
In my heart lay desire.
Never let them take it
Stow it away,
And keep it locked up, it is mine!
None may see… None may feel.
I am alone
Thanking the cold metal
Yearning for blood.
I will keep this, a
New feeling of pleasure
Safe in the embrace of the cold metal.
As red rain falls
Now I shall win!
I will learn to fly.
To kiss the clouds
Yes, I will obey.
the cold metal shall live in my heart.
the clarity burns me.
they all seem so worried…
do they not see the simple genius in this?
I Can See Neptune
Walking along
I can see Neptune ,
shining really strong
above the dusted moon ,
new words of a song
they come rushing through ,
Mars is blushing too
my steps they rush , one , two
on this lush balloon ,
I so miniscule
take a lasting breath ,
of the large see through
atomic molecules ,
what is my effect
and what do I turn to
some energy renewed ,
selectional , directional
complexity , terrestrial
we burn to be from the big sol
then you are me
we're spent then gone
none entity's in spherical
and then there's bi-dimensional
as my mind try's to take it all
my eyes do see
why I am small .
Walking along
I can see Neptune ,
shining really strong
above the dusted moon ,
new words of a song
they come rushing through ,
Mars is blushing too
my steps they rush , one , two
on this lush balloon ,
I so miniscule
take a lasting breath ,
of the large see through
atomic molecules ,
what is my effect
and what do I turn to
some energy renewed ,
selectional , directional
complexity , terrestrial
we burn to be from the big sol
then you are me
we're spent then gone
none entity's in spherical
and then there's bi-dimensional
as my mind try's to take it all
my eyes do see
why I am small .
