Me

I thought I knew you,
Yea you, the battered and bruised used to always being the one abused,
Yea you the one lost in the crowd, never conforming doing drugs just to feel at ease with every breath you took the pain continued to fester like a disease
Yea you, the outcast with a fashion for living fast since you laughed at death, but cowered at living, rushing head first subconsciously hoping your heart burst putting an end to the thought of waking up tomorrow
Yea you the one who had no hope, the one that no joke, act or show happen to lift that disposition you’ve been sitting in
Yea you, that 12 your old child running from the first sight of anything healthy in hope to end any new traumatic experience before it happened, than crying in isolation from the lack of new faces in your circle
But no this thing I’m witnessing, this man with a small ember of hope, the climbing out of the abyss, cursing the darkness, and continuing to move forward in the chance of your suicidal nature making a turn for the better, I don’t recognize this new second wind of an awakening blotting out my ability to spectate and smile, you know because for the last little while you haven’t been faking that smile, it’s actualy natural, and now I realize I thought I knew you

My hands are tied
To the arms of chair
My eyes are stapled
And people are trying to crack my head
I try to escape
This group of people with orthodox mind
But instead they
Tighten the knot of my hand

"Help" i yelled
But all what came back was my echo
"The cost of freedom is
Not just to shout"

I fought them with rashes on my hand
And opened my eyes with an axe of paper
With the ugly face and injured hand
I paid the cost of freedom, all by myself

Now i take refuge
Behind this beautiful mask of poetry
Hence,
Now i am free

I threw tantrums when I was a man.
I made petty what others made big. Big is small.
I stroke my luck and drove love. Can’t take your foot off that pedal.
I thought from a different position
my perspective might have changed.

I was an egomaniac in my adolescence.
I took things to heart and gave mine away. Carelessly for fidelity’s sake.
It made me rust. Had me hating.
Waiting.

In my teens I had promise and belligerently wide eyes.
A numskull with a tiny secret, perhaps. Lust and glory.
Mostly, glory.
I hadn’t forgotten the price of living, yet.

My childhood was an ignorant mess of deceptions and honest pleasures. Punching bag of bullies’ gym.
Wake up and smell the roses you’re eating.

Of my infancy I remember little.
A face. Fingers. Blurry vision. Milk and water.
Gag reflex.
Little did I know I was walking into a shit show.

Before this,

I'm your Sexy Charmer
I will treat you with
Kindness and Respect
I will make you
feel special
Because you are
special in your own
Unique way
Which I will support
you in anything
you want to do
While being there
for you when
you need me
So let the World
Be Heard