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Echoes of Valor
timgoodwin
Timmy O. Goodwin
Joined 13th Jan 2021
Forum Posts: 5
Timmy O. Goodwin
Strange Creature
![United States United States](/images/flags/United_States.gif)
Forum Posts: 5
As the first rays of morning light touch the fields of green and gold,
A sacred silence blankets the land, a solemn promise retold.
This day is not defined by picnics or grand parades,
Nor by festive feasts in twilight shades.
No, it’s in the act of remembering, in reverence profound,
In honoring those whose sacrifices abound.
Memorial Day is crafted from threads of brave hearts,
Echoes of their valor where our history imparts.
The air, laden with reverence, compels even the birds to sing low,
Flags at half-mast flutter, tales of courage they bestow.
We tread softly among rows of silent stones,
Each name a testament to lives courageously loaned.
Here lies the young soldier, dreams abruptly stilled,
The seasoned sergeant, with leadership instilled,
The medic who healed with hands that bore pain,
Each grave a verse in freedom’s enduring refrain.
The wind whispers of history, of battles bravely fought,
Of freedoms hard-won, with sacrifice deeply wrought.
Tears mingle with pride as we stand,
Guardians of liberty, this hallowed land.
Families gather, some in silent embrace,
Placing flowers on graves, symbols of grace.
Children ask with innocent eyes wide,
Parents answer with pride and sorrow tied.
Ceremonies unfold, a rich tapestry displayed,
Speeches, songs, and salutes solemnly conveyed.
The bugle’s call, mournful and sweet,
Wraps us in a shared heartbeat.
Gunfire echoes, sharp and clear,
A tribute to those who faced fear.
In our homes, we recount tales of bravery,
Not just in battle, but in daily chivalry.
We honor those who serve still,
Guardians of peace, of our will.
We pledge to carry their legacy high,
Striving for a nation worthy, under freedom’s sky.
As the sun sets, casting twilight’s gentle embrace,
We mourn the fallen yet celebrate their grace.
We hold their lessons close, freedom’s fragile might,
Unity our strength, their spirits ignite.
The sky darkens, stars take their nightly stand,
Memorial Day’s essence, etched in this land.
A grateful nation, with hearts aflame,
Holds these memories, eternal, in liberty’s name.
A sacred silence blankets the land, a solemn promise retold.
This day is not defined by picnics or grand parades,
Nor by festive feasts in twilight shades.
No, it’s in the act of remembering, in reverence profound,
In honoring those whose sacrifices abound.
Memorial Day is crafted from threads of brave hearts,
Echoes of their valor where our history imparts.
The air, laden with reverence, compels even the birds to sing low,
Flags at half-mast flutter, tales of courage they bestow.
We tread softly among rows of silent stones,
Each name a testament to lives courageously loaned.
Here lies the young soldier, dreams abruptly stilled,
The seasoned sergeant, with leadership instilled,
The medic who healed with hands that bore pain,
Each grave a verse in freedom’s enduring refrain.
The wind whispers of history, of battles bravely fought,
Of freedoms hard-won, with sacrifice deeply wrought.
Tears mingle with pride as we stand,
Guardians of liberty, this hallowed land.
Families gather, some in silent embrace,
Placing flowers on graves, symbols of grace.
Children ask with innocent eyes wide,
Parents answer with pride and sorrow tied.
Ceremonies unfold, a rich tapestry displayed,
Speeches, songs, and salutes solemnly conveyed.
The bugle’s call, mournful and sweet,
Wraps us in a shared heartbeat.
Gunfire echoes, sharp and clear,
A tribute to those who faced fear.
In our homes, we recount tales of bravery,
Not just in battle, but in daily chivalry.
We honor those who serve still,
Guardians of peace, of our will.
We pledge to carry their legacy high,
Striving for a nation worthy, under freedom’s sky.
As the sun sets, casting twilight’s gentle embrace,
We mourn the fallen yet celebrate their grace.
We hold their lessons close, freedom’s fragile might,
Unity our strength, their spirits ignite.
The sky darkens, stars take their nightly stand,
Memorial Day’s essence, etched in this land.
A grateful nation, with hearts aflame,
Holds these memories, eternal, in liberty’s name.
CalebMurdock
Joined 17th June 2024
Forum Posts: 2
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 2
I'm a new member here, and I notice your poem hasn't gotten any critiques. Certainly, you should write about the things that matter to you, and clearly you are patriotic. My experience is that most Americans have mixed feelings about the country (as I do), and perhaps that is why you haven't gotten any feedback yet. I think that for most people, poetry is a personal thing and not a vehicle for proud and public pronouncements. In my view, what you are doing in this poem is promoting a patriotic stereotype that not everyone believes in.
FoodNotGod
Joined 26th July 2024
Forum Posts: 1
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 1
New member here,
I'm not particularly a fan of consistent end-rhyme. I might add that, for this poem, you could however pull it off if you cut the poem in half to better serve your point.
I also am not keen to a lack of struggle. It is clear that you are loyal to and honor your country, but why do I need to be told that in every stanza? I want to believe the words, not be beaten like a dead horse. What would convince me: can I taste the sweat of bravery? Can I endure fatigue and hardship with concrete senses and internal conflict? I want that.
Ok, lets see. Strong points. S1, there is a touch of personification and imagery in L1. S2 L3 implements birds singing low; I enjoy that. S3 I like L5 where the medic heals with his hands, concise and powerful. S6 L1 gives a tingling feeling to the tongue to read.
Again, I think this would pack a tighter punch if you trimmed the fat a tad bit. As of now, it takes no risks and has little expectations from the reader.
Hope this helped. Best of luck.
I'm not particularly a fan of consistent end-rhyme. I might add that, for this poem, you could however pull it off if you cut the poem in half to better serve your point.
I also am not keen to a lack of struggle. It is clear that you are loyal to and honor your country, but why do I need to be told that in every stanza? I want to believe the words, not be beaten like a dead horse. What would convince me: can I taste the sweat of bravery? Can I endure fatigue and hardship with concrete senses and internal conflict? I want that.
Ok, lets see. Strong points. S1, there is a touch of personification and imagery in L1. S2 L3 implements birds singing low; I enjoy that. S3 I like L5 where the medic heals with his hands, concise and powerful. S6 L1 gives a tingling feeling to the tongue to read.
Again, I think this would pack a tighter punch if you trimmed the fat a tad bit. As of now, it takes no risks and has little expectations from the reader.
Hope this helped. Best of luck.