Puppy Parents

Faces at the kennel again,
I suppose I should move,
maybe a little stretch,
that’s me done back to mum,
keep my ears flat don’t look round,
soon be warm nuzzling down.
 
Snatched away inside a crate
carried like a takeaway,
holes in the side, car ride,
falling over into bends,
I cant stop the tremors, decompressed
I break the surface without mother,
hands pretend to play like brothers.
 
Faces at the window again,
makes my limbs tremble,
smile and be sure to get up,
giant in my cot,  
Those that can, stand
those that can’t, smile anyway they can.
Lost sailors waiting for the sharks,
treading above the shifting dark,
its mouth fits round my hips,
lifts and blankets me.
 
It’s cold, been told its my time,
outside for a car ride,
tree tops flash
like orphan home rats across  
blue broken tiles,
teeth and head vibrate with the door,
I never felt such things before.
 
'My room' she said in pink,
a net above my lice ridden head,
'just for show' he said,
I hope it keeps out the bites,
that come to crawl and pillow fight
every night.
 
Lipstick below my shaven fringe,
'please call me Anne',
so I won’t but I’m sure I can.
They gave me a life to look after,
its playful teeth nip at my wrist,
another mouth that wants me to exist,
and so I pinch soft skin and fur,
twist fingers round his pointed ear.
 
In this new place we need each other,
learning to be like sister and brother.

the art of attachment    
she knows the rules      
no touching      
no friction      
      
friends for life      
     
she knows loss      
unanswered      
senseless      
     
love and devotion is only a dream      
a game      
played within the dimensions of her bed      
     
beyond the outskirts of nightstands      
she remains untouchable      
unattainable    
   
lost insight of the poacher     
my sacrificial dove  
can not be held in a cage  
     
she knows the rules      
the art of distance      
princess of self preservation

Is it just an unwritten need
the foetus that is born so weak
just a ball that needs to sleep
no mothers milk and hardly weaned

Instincts rise
 when time laid heavy on the hand
the empty womb, need a surprise
 ostrich raised head from beneath the sand

 Need to fill the the never nest
that cries with such a pleading yelp
kindle spirit in the breast
in saucer eyes, is written HELP

The barren years without a child
to romp and frolic fetch the stick
the answer to those, infertile
retrieve the ball. the tail wags quick

Could I feel the touch, that a woman needs?
close ranks with my feminine side
to nurturer, to feed, whatever the breed
sense unconditional love, like a rising tide

Wants that hold a maternal instinct
preciousness that requires attention
the substitute to hold an infant
to fondle all that need protection
 
For in each is wrought the bond of trust
in exercise to run and jump
the family member ever leading,
from the front
power to inflict, in the throat a lump

it's funny how you were the one
who was always afraid of everything
yet looking back at times in my life
when I myself was scared
and pretty much everyone had gone away
or just didn't understand
how very real the fear was that coursed thru my blood
you were the one who stayed
you were always there when j was in pain
you were brave
kept me held close within your gentle embrace
never strayed
like after my surgery
before it too
you held up in that bed with me night and day
much like the time when you were just a pup
and I came down with something and couldn't get up
for two days you stayed in bed
without even a complaint
just laying beside me
quietly
loving me.
or the time when we went up to Santa Barbara
to find out wtf was up with Kevin
and he left
and I was so tired
there was no way I could have driven all the way back
and it was scary out there in the car that night
especially when the weird man came up to the car
but you protected me
from him and the cold
it was freezing remember
and you laid on top of me
like a blanket for hours until I could go ring Kevin's moms door to use the bathroom.
I hope I can be brave to
and let you go
because I think it's time to.
I'll miss you so much
and it hurts to think
that you
my little swoopy do
won't be with me
after today.