Psychological Abuse

All I could see was destruction.
The hole you left in my heart, gaping.
Was this idea of your construction?
To add desolation with no hope of escaping.

You claim to have lost your love for a while.
If that is true, then why did you remain?
Was you leaving me for another an example of your guile?
After all this was not the first time you hurt another for your personal gain.

You have left, but your memory will stay.
Your image forever engraved into my brain.
How I wish your presence upon my mind would go away.
After all your memory is nothing more than a stain.

You tugged and you tugged, on my heart with a string.
You should have know it takes more to de throne a king.

That eureka moment when you realize your existence lies in the lust of man.
I find my purpose in that of SPREAD LEG.
I give away my being as easy as common courteously only to end up CONVENIENT pussy.
I guess his penis inside of me makes me whole.
Makes me SIGNIFICANT.
OTHER.
But still somebody.
Maybe no Jesse Jackson but I am something to somebody.
Rather that, than empty.
I’m filled.
Even if it is with semen.
Even if I am labeled as a whore. and marked with scarlet letter.
I get whatever side of dirty nasty stinky filthy love I can get because it is all that has been offered to me.
If any ever offered at all.
And all I have left to show for it is this beaten up pussy to remind me of my failed attempts to find life’s meaning in another because I wasn't brave enough to seek it within myself.
If only they knew that I wasn’t doing it for the nut but to fill my voids and numb my already swollen pains.
I’ve risked my only key to getting into to heaven on faith in HE.
I've sacrificed my own flesh, God’s gift to me 'life' and I choose to give it away so recklessly because I believe that maybe one day something good is going come out of all this...
FUCKING AND SUCKING AND SWALLOWING AND LOYALTY, HONESTY and NO QUESTIONS ASKED IMA DO BEFORE IT HITS YOUR LIPS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO NEED ME AS MUCH AS I NEED LOVE!
SO I LAY LOOSELY AND TAKE ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME.
NO!
I ACCEPT IT.
EVEN THE BAD.
and barely find the time to get to know who's body I'm stuck in.
I don’t know ME.
I desire to be with a woman to experience only what I myself could not amount to.
I long to taste the inside of SHE what no one showed me how to be and what I could never be on my own her perfect is delicious and that’s joy in my world.

Sylvia Perry 2014©

Now we have all heard the old addage about sticks and stones. However I must digress to reveal that it's message is absurdly unreal. Words can cut deeper then the sharpest knife. Leaving scars that do not heal and in some cases may even end a life. The tounge can be the most dangerous weapon known to man. Yet we cannot put a lock on this weapon nor require a license for its use. So sadly I must admit each of us must control it's abuse. The guileded tounge even makes us believe it's lie. When we are put down we sometimes act strong, yet alone we cry. And it sadness me to admit that at times we are all part it. We have said things we regret harmful words that even if we try to make amends. Thee fellings they brought out in our victims they wont forget. What is sadder still are those that really just don't care. They use thier words on purpose like a gun. They tear us down with no mercy to spare. They bleed us dry and leave us no safe place to run. We cannot hide from the things they say. There is no shield to keep those words away. Some feel so trapped and psychologically abused, there is only one way out they decide. Unfortunately we can no longer try to help them after they commit suicide.