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Poetry competition CLOSED 3rd July 2016 7:46pm
WINNER
brokentitanium (k.)
brokentitanium (k.)
RUNNER-UP:
dejure
SONNET SLAM 2 - Anything Goes
Anonymous
Hepcat61 said:
With 4 days left, I wanted to review the guidelines – this was an English sonnet competition –
14 lines of iambic pentameter, rhymed ABAB CDCD EFEF GG…
there is still plenty of time to make any adjustments needed...
I didn't read the instructions carefully. Will you accept ABAB CDCD EFEF FF?
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's call,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that did enthrall
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The bustling magpies hastened to that place,
And spanned the flood in waves of feathered grace.
With 4 days left, I wanted to review the guidelines – this was an English sonnet competition –
14 lines of iambic pentameter, rhymed ABAB CDCD EFEF GG…
there is still plenty of time to make any adjustments needed...
I didn't read the instructions carefully. Will you accept ABAB CDCD EFEF FF?
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's call,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that did enthrall
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The bustling magpies hastened to that place,
And spanned the flood in waves of feathered grace.
AlwaysHungry said:
I didn't read the instructions carefully. Will you accept ABAB CDCD EFEF FF?
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's call,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that did enthrall
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The bustling magpies hastened to that place,
And spanned the flood in waves of feathered grace.
Here's the thing... the structure of the English Sonnet is such - as you well know - to follow the conceptual ideas in the three quatrains and the couplet... I could accept the variation - as in May's - who used the rhyme scheme in her complete 2nd quatrain as CCCC because I could consider that as part of her "waxing poetic" which is the 2nd quatrain's fuction in the poem...
But to continue the rhyme scheme from quatrain 3 to the couplet is to undermine the function of the couplet which is to culminate the poem in a different direction... as would pulling the rhyme scheme from one quatrain to the next...
and remember much of the nature of the sonnet was to be the "spoken word" of the time... the couplet set in it's own unique rhyme scheme signals the end of the poem...
much like Shakespeare's conceit of ending scenes in his plays with a couplet...
Short answer - you can submit any type of poem you wish... if you want to throw in a villanelle, a sestina, or a haiku, that's fine with me... but those would automatically be disqualified from consideration by the judges - because they are not English sonnets...
geoff
I didn't read the instructions carefully. Will you accept ABAB CDCD EFEF FF?
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's call,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that did enthrall
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The bustling magpies hastened to that place,
And spanned the flood in waves of feathered grace.
Here's the thing... the structure of the English Sonnet is such - as you well know - to follow the conceptual ideas in the three quatrains and the couplet... I could accept the variation - as in May's - who used the rhyme scheme in her complete 2nd quatrain as CCCC because I could consider that as part of her "waxing poetic" which is the 2nd quatrain's fuction in the poem...
But to continue the rhyme scheme from quatrain 3 to the couplet is to undermine the function of the couplet which is to culminate the poem in a different direction... as would pulling the rhyme scheme from one quatrain to the next...
and remember much of the nature of the sonnet was to be the "spoken word" of the time... the couplet set in it's own unique rhyme scheme signals the end of the poem...
much like Shakespeare's conceit of ending scenes in his plays with a couplet...
Short answer - you can submit any type of poem you wish... if you want to throw in a villanelle, a sestina, or a haiku, that's fine with me... but those would automatically be disqualified from consideration by the judges - because they are not English sonnets...
geoff
Anonymous
Hepcat61 said:
But to continue the rhyme scheme from quatrain 3 to the couplet is to undermine the function of the couplet which is to culminate the poem in a different direction... as would pulling the rhyme scheme from one quatrain to the next...
... the couplet set in it's own unique rhyme scheme signals the end of the poem...
much like Shakespeare's conceit of ending scenes in his plays with a couplet...
Point taken. Here's another revision:
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's flame,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that so did tame
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The multitudes of magpies, like a dream,
Conjoined their wings to span the starry stream.
But to continue the rhyme scheme from quatrain 3 to the couplet is to undermine the function of the couplet which is to culminate the poem in a different direction... as would pulling the rhyme scheme from one quatrain to the next...
... the couplet set in it's own unique rhyme scheme signals the end of the poem...
much like Shakespeare's conceit of ending scenes in his plays with a couplet...
Point taken. Here's another revision:
When Orihime let her shuttle fall,
Her bobbins, too, and cast her loom aside,
And Hikoboshi let his cattle all
Disperse, to make his way across the wide
Expanse of stars, his shining bride to kiss;
As Altair, hearkening to Vega's flame,
Refused to let a galaxy's abyss
Divide him from the glow that so did tame
His stellar heart; let us not be dismayed
By plodding time or yawning, vacant space.
For when the stars a daunting torrent made
That stayed those lovers from their hot embrace,
The multitudes of magpies, like a dream,
Conjoined their wings to span the starry stream.
Good evening from the glorious metropolis of Los Angeles, CA…
I want to start by thanking all of you who entered our little Slam. It was fun to be able to share this space for all those who wanted to attempt or improve their sonnet abilities – both Jade and myself had a wonderful time answering your questions and helping to find solutions to the challenge that is the English sonnet…
With so many worthy entries and so much effort
put in by all our sonneteers, you left us with a hard task.
But… the trophy goes to brokentitainium for the amazing A Bird in Hand. An excellent effort what graceful flow about that tragic event… well done…
Runners up were Taryn for ”in between” – A Sonnet and to dejure for a love sonnet. You both showed great vision and tenacity in shaping your sonnets. I thank you both for keeping with your writes and following through to the end… and creating such beautiful poems…
For all who shared your words, we are deep appreciation…
geoff
Wow, I'm so excited - my first trophy!!
Am I supposed to do an acceptance speech of some sort...? "I'd like to thank Geoff and Jade for hosting this challenging comp....and my Grade 11 English teacher for pounding iambic pentameter into my head....." Haha!
Congrats also to Taryn and dejure, and everyone else for your efforts. I enjoyed reading them all.
k
Am I supposed to do an acceptance speech of some sort...? "I'd like to thank Geoff and Jade for hosting this challenging comp....and my Grade 11 English teacher for pounding iambic pentameter into my head....." Haha!
Congrats also to Taryn and dejure, and everyone else for your efforts. I enjoyed reading them all.
k
SLAM 2 is at an end, and we couldn't be more pleased or proud for the sonnets entered! My thanks to Geoff for hosting this round of the SLAM, and for inviting me to help as co-judge/host.
My sincerest & happy congratulations to our cup recipient, brokentitanium, for your goldfinch sonnet! And to our Taryn, and Vick, for your sonnet entries; your fine efforts gave all a run for their money!
And to all entrants, the honors were ours for you thinking of the SLAM when it came to sharing your writes. Hope to see you again when #3 rolls around!
all the best,
Jade
My sincerest & happy congratulations to our cup recipient, brokentitanium, for your goldfinch sonnet! And to our Taryn, and Vick, for your sonnet entries; your fine efforts gave all a run for their money!
And to all entrants, the honors were ours for you thinking of the SLAM when it came to sharing your writes. Hope to see you again when #3 rolls around!
all the best,
Jade
Anonymous
Thanks to Hepcat for hosting this challenging comp and for the time put in by the guest judge Jade Pandora. I appreciate the nod.
Congrats on taking the win Broken and congrats also to fellow runner up poet dejure...All entries by everyone were brilliant.
Cheers!
Congrats on taking the win Broken and congrats also to fellow runner up poet dejure...All entries by everyone were brilliant.
Cheers!
Amidst the soaking rain and bitter cold,
the Moon and sister stars in glory shine
on once superbly flaxen hair now gold
his fingers raked with ease ere now entwine.
Smoke billows; lips and legs do quiver still.
Recounting pleasures past but moments since,
unfolding words like operatic trills
do speak of love and honestly convince.
With chills upon, they opt for haven—bed,
to where commenced their paramouric spark,
to where their tryst became engraven’ed,
to where abandoned lay his broken barque.
None feign such love who entertain conceit;
none risk their hearts ‘lest they, in truth, accrete.
the Moon and sister stars in glory shine
on once superbly flaxen hair now gold
his fingers raked with ease ere now entwine.
Smoke billows; lips and legs do quiver still.
Recounting pleasures past but moments since,
unfolding words like operatic trills
do speak of love and honestly convince.
With chills upon, they opt for haven—bed,
to where commenced their paramouric spark,
to where their tryst became engraven’ed,
to where abandoned lay his broken barque.
None feign such love who entertain conceit;
none risk their hearts ‘lest they, in truth, accrete.
