Story Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about Dreams, Fantasy and Fiction
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
wallyroo92
Poem Published
Today 4:14am
Today 4:14am
Fantasea
It was a sunny day and the breeze was warm
The waters were so clear I could see deep below
But just past the coral reef where I’d taken the boat
One wave suddenly knocked me overboard
And what seemed to be an eternity underwater
The colors from the surface seemed to gleam
There I caught a glimpse of magic and illusion
Like a surreal dream dressed in emerald green
It was a feminine figure with long flowing hair
Moving with elegance in the water underneath
She had an angelic face with beauty and grace
Coming to my rescue as I...
The waters were so clear I could see deep below
But just past the coral reef where I’d taken the boat
One wave suddenly knocked me overboard
And what seemed to be an eternity underwater
The colors from the surface seemed to gleam
There I caught a glimpse of magic and illusion
Like a surreal dream dressed in emerald green
It was a feminine figure with long flowing hair
Moving with elegance in the water underneath
She had an angelic face with beauty and grace
Coming to my rescue as I...
#dreams
#fiction
#mermaids
19 reads
1 Comment
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
Yesterday 12:09pm
Yesterday 12:09pm
No big loss
Seymour Butts lived quietly at home with his mother in Nebraska. The 22 year old's social circle consisted mostly of friends with whom he visited daily via webcam on the internet. While drinking vodka and smoking pot one evening in 2002, his chat room buddies encouraged him to keep popping tranquilizers and other pills he had handy. Butt''s mother Shelly found him the next afternoon. She didn't notice anything out of the ordinary and spent the previous evening doing crossword puzzles in the next room.
#ignorance
#satirical
#ShortStory
33 reads
3 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
Yesterday 11:59am
Yesterday 11:59am
Internal Incarceration
I hold myself in disdain
I don't give a fuck
I've got nothing to hide
No one understands
A part of me has died
Utopia rejected on Earth that's hell
My mind is lonely, no different from a cell
My body is sick, which I can't leave behind
What will it take to medicate the mind
Exit the womb to a tomb
Can't adjust
Alone in my room
Depend on my departed friend
Not remembering
How long has it been
If there's one thing I've learned
Comfort cannot be found
Nowhere to grow
Nobody's fault but mine ...
I don't give a fuck
I've got nothing to hide
No one understands
A part of me has died
Utopia rejected on Earth that's hell
My mind is lonely, no different from a cell
My body is sick, which I can't leave behind
What will it take to medicate the mind
Exit the womb to a tomb
Can't adjust
Alone in my room
Depend on my departed friend
Not remembering
How long has it been
If there's one thing I've learned
Comfort cannot be found
Nowhere to grow
Nobody's fault but mine ...
#loneliness
#motivational
#rhyming
#sadness
#TruthOfLife
44 reads
9 Comments
AaronBraveHeart
Poem Published
Yesterday 11:30am
Yesterday 11:30am
Galadriel's Choice
Silent hope beats in the heart,
mixed with the fear of failure,
for valiance is proven in the art
of preserving loyalty in the behaviour,
when tested amid seductive trials,
the domain of inner strength,
then weakness battles in denial,
seeking excuses, while one repents.
Galadriel stood by the well
that predicts doom of the races.
As if a mirror beyond mere spells,
true teller, not of fortune, but of faces.
She wanted to ignite within
the spark of higher immortality,
not innately, despite all sin,
but...
mixed with the fear of failure,
for valiance is proven in the art
of preserving loyalty in the behaviour,
when tested amid seductive trials,
the domain of inner strength,
then weakness battles in denial,
seeking excuses, while one repents.
Galadriel stood by the well
that predicts doom of the races.
As if a mirror beyond mere spells,
true teller, not of fortune, but of faces.
She wanted to ignite within
the spark of higher immortality,
not innately, despite all sin,
but...
#courage
#determination
#dreams
#JRRTolkien
#strength
22 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
15th Mar 2025 11:05am
15th Mar 2025 11:05am
A Cryptic Illness
Bring your beauty onto me
Mysterious and distant
I can only imagine to see
We discovered our magic together
Mileage should never stop our love
Your valued more then any buried treasure
One day i will arrive, when you least suspect
Surprise!! Surprise!!
Let's make love, take off your dress
Your looks and appeal are stunning to my eyes
Your body, so beautifully developed
So sexy honey, I tell no lies
Days & weeks go by
Personality isn't what I like
A few more days, I'm saying goodbye
She...
Mysterious and distant
I can only imagine to see
We discovered our magic together
Mileage should never stop our love
Your valued more then any buried treasure
One day i will arrive, when you least suspect
Surprise!! Surprise!!
Let's make love, take off your dress
Your looks and appeal are stunning to my eyes
Your body, so beautifully developed
So sexy honey, I tell no lies
Days & weeks go by
Personality isn't what I like
A few more days, I'm saying goodbye
She...
#FallingInLove
#revenge
#rhyming
#ShortStory
#support
50 reads
8 Comments
OyateInyanNajin
Poem Published
15th Mar 2025 6:15am
15th Mar 2025 6:15am
SICK, LOST, STRANDED and SLEEPLESS IN LIMA PERU - (due to my Passport being stolen!) (5:56am, 3-5-2025, Lima, Peru)
after this
my by now
third
sleepless night
of restless
insomnia
sick lost
stranded
and sleepless
here
way down
south
in lima peru
when this
sudden
unexpected
thought question
spontaneously arose
to occur
in me here
for me
to consider
in which
i quietly ...
my by now
third
sleepless night
of restless
insomnia
sick lost
stranded
and sleepless
here
way down
south
in lima peru
when this
sudden
unexpected
thought question
spontaneously arose
to occur
in me here
for me
to consider
in which
i quietly ...
#anxiety
#disability
#illness
#insomnia
#PTSD
33 reads
0 Comments
CasketSharpe
Poem Published
14th Mar 2025 10:48am
14th Mar 2025 10:48am
Not N Your Library Series II (Do You Smell Somethin)
Did something crawl up in him and died?
That is what his family thought while traveling in that shit smelling ride,
“Could it be those White Castle sliders or that burrito from Taco Bell
That is giving his ass cheeks pure hell,
“The windows did not come down because they were broke
And being immune to his own shit all the rest can do was choke,
“The air conditioner in the raggedy motherfucka did not function
Causing his wife to have flashbacks of the other night when they were fuckin,
“The room had to be aired out...
That is what his family thought while traveling in that shit smelling ride,
“Could it be those White Castle sliders or that burrito from Taco Bell
That is giving his ass cheeks pure hell,
“The windows did not come down because they were broke
And being immune to his own shit all the rest can do was choke,
“The air conditioner in the raggedy motherfucka did not function
Causing his wife to have flashbacks of the other night when they were fuckin,
“The room had to be aired out...
#cars
#family
#travel
40 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
13th Mar 2025 9:24am
13th Mar 2025 9:24am
Bet with your head, not over it
Neil Anblomi of Italy took a trip to Las Vegas and sent some letters back home in 1996. His letters telling loved ones his tales of American adventure. One letter told them he had a win of $2,500.00 on roulette. Another was about seeing Wayne Newton live, enjoying the performance immensely. In a postcard to his mother, he talked about how exhausting gambling could be, but told her not to worry. "I am sensible, so I won't blow my savings." He told her of his plans to see the Grand Canyon by helicopter and maybe buy a ticket to a magic show. On August 1st, 1996, Anblomi threw himself...
#addiction
#fiction
#holiday
#satirical
#suicide
68 reads
10 Comments
CasketSharpe
Poem Published
12th Mar 2025 10:50am
12th Mar 2025 10:50am
Not N Your Library Series I (What You Might Find)
#father
#secrets
47 reads
5 Comments
PAR
Poem Published
11th Mar 2025 2:20pm
11th Mar 2025 2:20pm
Ponder a Box
What lies within the box, unseen,
a token lost, a thought pristine?
Or merely air, a void serene?
Does it hold time, a clock unwound,
a moment trapped, a silence found?
Or echoes lost where none astound?
Could it be dreams of lives once led,
flickering ghosts a life long dead?
Or hopes unwoven, stitched with thread?
Might it contain the stars of yore.
The cosmos bound behind this door?
Infinity within its core?
Or is it but the simplest guise,
a trick played out before our eyes?...
a token lost, a thought pristine?
Or merely air, a void serene?
Does it hold time, a clock unwound,
a moment trapped, a silence found?
Or echoes lost where none astound?
Could it be dreams of lives once led,
flickering ghosts a life long dead?
Or hopes unwoven, stitched with thread?
Might it contain the stars of yore.
The cosmos bound behind this door?
Infinity within its core?
Or is it but the simplest guise,
a trick played out before our eyes?...
#evolution
#honesty
#mythology
#rebellion
#spiritual
103 reads
4 Comments
Stoney223
WOLF BAY33
WOLF BAY33
Poem Published
9th Mar 2025 11:00pm
9th Mar 2025 11:00pm
How we create
I write these words of the deepness of thoughts and creativity, to inspire all who have a passion to create. Whether it's from pen to paper or paint to canvas, for I am a firm believer as a writer, that we all have special talents as it is something that we love.
For sure it's something that we do in order to express, our thoughts and insight and feelings and imagination. As we release the gifted talents that we have to be able, to create something that is apart of us to share with others and the world 🌎 🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
For sure it's something that we do in order to express, our thoughts and insight and feelings and imagination. As we release the gifted talents that we have to be able, to create something that is apart of us to share with others and the world 🌎 🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
#art
#dreams
#PersonalGrowth
#StreamOfConsciousness
#uplifting
69 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
8th Mar 2025 12:07pm
8th Mar 2025 12:07pm
A Whole New Way to Love McDonald's
A man by the name of Ron was the owner of a McDonald's on the outskirts of Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Sometime in March 2010, he was driving North on Interstate 43 when he crashed his car.
There was a decent snowfall occurring with icy conditions.
His vehicle had crossed the median and into the southbound lanes before hitting a guardrail.
Ron was able to climb out of the burning wreckage, pulled off all of his burning clothes and stood naked in the middle of the road.
In a matter of minutes, Ron was plowed down and killed by an oncoming tractor-trailer. ...
Sometime in March 2010, he was driving North on Interstate 43 when he crashed his car.
There was a decent snowfall occurring with icy conditions.
His vehicle had crossed the median and into the southbound lanes before hitting a guardrail.
Ron was able to climb out of the burning wreckage, pulled off all of his burning clothes and stood naked in the middle of the road.
In a matter of minutes, Ron was plowed down and killed by an oncoming tractor-trailer. ...
#satirical
#ShortStory
86 reads
10 Comments
DU Poetry : Story Poems Seeking Critique about Dreams, Fantasy and Fiction
