Long Poems About Eating Disorders
#EatingDisorder
Purge
There was an innate sort of control, that came with slipping my fingers down my throat,
Because at that moment, when the world went still and quiet, I had never felt more alive.
And maybe I was damned, from the moment I traded dinners for crushed ice and koolaid packets, or when I began to weigh myself every morning when I woke up, and every night when I went to bed, but god; could I have cared any less than in that small, moment of blissful silence.
I am older now, and eating tastes like chewed up fingernails and sugar free crystal light, But I am not doing it anymore;...
Because at that moment, when the world went still and quiet, I had never felt more alive.
And maybe I was damned, from the moment I traded dinners for crushed ice and koolaid packets, or when I began to weigh myself every morning when I woke up, and every night when I went to bed, but god; could I have cared any less than in that small, moment of blissful silence.
I am older now, and eating tastes like chewed up fingernails and sugar free crystal light, But I am not doing it anymore;...
#food
#EatingDisorder
227 reads
2 Comments
shape shamers
close your eyes...if it offends...
...if you don't wish to see...
...turn a blind eye...the way you do injustice
...it isn't really there...just pretend
live in denial if you must
but stop belittling what doesn't affect you
hating for its own sake
nobody's saying ya gotta date 'em
look to your personal environ
I'm here to tell you...
...it's real
they will troll you
feed foul names & images into your mind
make you feel less than...
...or too much...
{as if we already didn't...}
...it's relentless
...
...if you don't wish to see...
...turn a blind eye...the way you do injustice
...it isn't really there...just pretend
live in denial if you must
but stop belittling what doesn't affect you
hating for its own sake
nobody's saying ya gotta date 'em
look to your personal environ
I'm here to tell you...
...it's real
they will troll you
feed foul names & images into your mind
make you feel less than...
...or too much...
{as if we already didn't...}
...it's relentless
...
#LifeStruggles
#bullying
#EatingDisorder
#acceptance
#hurt
199 reads
4 Comments
Notice
At a young age, we start to notice numbers
how they grew but descend as well
I however, grew to notice the numbers on the scale
How they would go up or down
Depending if i felt brave enough to have an extra bite
As I grew, so did the numbers on that scale
My enemy wasn’t anyone else
But the very reflection that had shown me
Pulling fat that doesn’t exist
The crying the wishing to see something else
Anything or anyone
Notice the mirror’s endless lies
help reach that number
Or notice how apple cider vinegar...
how they grew but descend as well
I however, grew to notice the numbers on the scale
How they would go up or down
Depending if i felt brave enough to have an extra bite
As I grew, so did the numbers on that scale
My enemy wasn’t anyone else
But the very reflection that had shown me
Pulling fat that doesn’t exist
The crying the wishing to see something else
Anything or anyone
Notice the mirror’s endless lies
help reach that number
Or notice how apple cider vinegar...
#identity
#SelfReflection
#EatingDisorder
381 reads
1 Comment
Lessons from an unloved body and a mad woman
I wake up in the morning sometimes to the sound of my own breathing, and I become envious and enveloped in a thick coat of hatred and love for myself each day.
It is so hard; trying to love everything about yourself, even the things society has told you to hate.
Lesson one;
The more I starve myself, the more the pit of hunger inside of my body begins to grow; the more animalistic I become,
It does not matter to me; as long as I am beautiful.
The loving comes afterwards, when salted almonds become flavorless and toast and apple juice become the craved. ...
It is so hard; trying to love everything about yourself, even the things society has told you to hate.
Lesson one;
The more I starve myself, the more the pit of hunger inside of my body begins to grow; the more animalistic I become,
It does not matter to me; as long as I am beautiful.
The loving comes afterwards, when salted almonds become flavorless and toast and apple juice become the craved. ...
#depression
#EatingDisorder
494 reads
2 Comments
there's no need to read this either
im not really sure how to decribe what im feeling right now. i think i need to split my life into factors. in my relationship i feel defeated. that might be the only word i have. i have done so much wrong and caused so much hurt that im in this constant limbo between "i dont deserve to be treated well" and "i shouldn't be treated like this/talked to this way". and then some things hurt more than you could ever imagine but you never expect to happen and then it does and it slices you. what do you even say to your partner when they say the have no one? i dont think thats something i can ever...
#anxiety
#loneliness
#dark
#bipolar
#EatingDisorder
535 reads
0 Comments
Demon #2
#food
#addiction
#EatingDisorder
414 reads
0 Comments
Withdrawal
It's called an addiction but comes like a friend
Any bad feeling will come to an end
Walks you along to a fake solution
Dragging you down to an odd compulsion
It tames the anger, it tames the pain
It soothes your soul when it burns in hell
You feel relieved when it hits your system
Yet you do know it will crush your liver
You like to feel it caressing your throat
But real thing is it will only make it worse
Time goes by slower when you look at the clock
You don't have to face what you want to avoid
When the...
Any bad feeling will come to an end
Walks you along to a fake solution
Dragging you down to an odd compulsion
It tames the anger, it tames the pain
It soothes your soul when it burns in hell
You feel relieved when it hits your system
Yet you do know it will crush your liver
You like to feel it caressing your throat
But real thing is it will only make it worse
Time goes by slower when you look at the clock
You don't have to face what you want to avoid
When the...
#anxiety
#alcohol
#addiction
#EatingDisorder
#vulnerability
981 reads
2 Comments
empty
I eat too much.
Sometimes I wish that food made me barf so I didn't have to take another bite.
Why do I feel so empty inside?
No matter how much I put into my body it never satisfies.
I eat to the point my stomach hurts but I'm not done yet.
At least not until I feel like I need to hurl.
If I don't overeat and fill myself up to the brim until I feel like I can't breathe then I'm not done with my meal.
I eat until I feel so sick that I need to take a break to breathe.
Not...
Sometimes I wish that food made me barf so I didn't have to take another bite.
Why do I feel so empty inside?
No matter how much I put into my body it never satisfies.
I eat to the point my stomach hurts but I'm not done yet.
At least not until I feel like I need to hurl.
If I don't overeat and fill myself up to the brim until I feel like I can't breathe then I'm not done with my meal.
I eat until I feel so sick that I need to take a break to breathe.
Not...
#confessional
#EatingDisorder
#emptiness
721 reads
4 Comments
Love and Peace
My body and I are at a constant war between love and peace and she is killing me,
I sometimes think it is because of all of the times I let the malnourished girl inside of me die.
But I was too afraid to let her out, afraid that she would spring out, wild hunger in her eyes.
I know we are at war because I do not feed her like I should, and that she is starving beyond recognition.
I sometimes try to whisper sweet nothings to her, in hopes that we will fall back in love.
But she is too broken to love me, too hungry to listen to what I am trying to say to her. ...
I sometimes think it is because of all of the times I let the malnourished girl inside of me die.
But I was too afraid to let her out, afraid that she would spring out, wild hunger in her eyes.
I know we are at war because I do not feed her like I should, and that she is starving beyond recognition.
I sometimes try to whisper sweet nothings to her, in hopes that we will fall back in love.
But she is too broken to love me, too hungry to listen to what I am trying to say to her. ...
#EatingDisorder
380 reads
2 Comments
Anorexia - Behind the looking Glass
A mastermind in disguised by the sins of shattered glass, luring you in by its reflections, leaving you with painful thoughts, false confidence and shame. Your wasting away as time is coming short, pretty soon all that will be left of you is the remains of your bones.”
she once lit up
like fearless skies,
then she grew up
to her own demise.
Carried burdens
of many storms,
flooded fears
that noone knows.
Ran countless times
but all she found,
Is nowhere to hide
Only one way out
Despite her screams for help
She wastes...
she once lit up
like fearless skies,
then she grew up
to her own demise.
Carried burdens
of many storms,
flooded fears
that noone knows.
Ran countless times
but all she found,
Is nowhere to hide
Only one way out
Despite her screams for help
She wastes...
#depression
#SelfHarm
#illness
#MentalHealth
#EatingDisorder
757 reads
5 Comments
I ate well for the first time in 4 years
My yes my body .. guess I'm awakening alot.
Battled an eatin disorder I didn't realise I had , for years battling something I never knew was there.
A silent war , a silent mind.
How it all become so loud just trying to make a sound.
Trying to eat , maintain.
It started with school and getting fat , I let go of bullies and ridicule , never did I bother me.
Yet I was defeated by my insecurities.
I don't want this fat on my body , it became an obsession.
I didn't eat . I didn't sleep.
Then...
Battled an eatin disorder I didn't realise I had , for years battling something I never knew was there.
A silent war , a silent mind.
How it all become so loud just trying to make a sound.
Trying to eat , maintain.
It started with school and getting fat , I let go of bullies and ridicule , never did I bother me.
Yet I was defeated by my insecurities.
I don't want this fat on my body , it became an obsession.
I didn't eat . I didn't sleep.
Then...
#EatingDisorder
388 reads
0 Comments
Unicorn Casserole
I can't say that I have a clear perception of time
but on one day of deception I was drinking some wine
with a friend of mine, Mr. Phillip McPearson
who in reality wasn't actually a real person
He was an ex-con leprechaun
A fact which I never did dwell upon
He would visit from time to time on occasion
when I had whiskey and rye as persuasion
I puffed some pot and passed him the bowl in a glow
and he told me about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
With a sinful grin this bloke told me the joke
about the rainbow actually...
but on one day of deception I was drinking some wine
with a friend of mine, Mr. Phillip McPearson
who in reality wasn't actually a real person
He was an ex-con leprechaun
A fact which I never did dwell upon
He would visit from time to time on occasion
when I had whiskey and rye as persuasion
I puffed some pot and passed him the bowl in a glow
and he told me about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
With a sinful grin this bloke told me the joke
about the rainbow actually...
#hope
#MentalHealth
#unicorns #EatingDisorder
#unicorns #EatingDisorder
950 reads
6 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Poems About Eating Disorders
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