deepundergroundpoetry.com
Predicament
I predict one nation under god
Not one who acts as fraud
Laws live in lies
I guess having a voice
Doesn't have a meaningful prize
As you end up in jail
Hiding behind all the shell
"I have a dream" used to mean
Something but what was clean
Has now become dirty
Seeing to many act more than flirty
People killing people should be too
Nothing’s as simple as it used to be
What’s happen to being free
treating a wife with respect
losing your mind and beating
her to a pulp leaving her bruised
For yourself enlightenment
What the hell is your predicament?
Can you see what I see?
Can you read between the lines
Of what was once fine
Everything that had a shine
Is now dull
Hats off to the bull
Pathetic is everything now
Whats real is living underground
Poetic justice is yet to come
Emancipation Proclamation
More like
Emancipation Facistination
Legitimate...
Has now become a predicament
Not one who acts as fraud
Laws live in lies
I guess having a voice
Doesn't have a meaningful prize
As you end up in jail
Hiding behind all the shell
"I have a dream" used to mean
Something but what was clean
Has now become dirty
Seeing to many act more than flirty
People killing people should be too
Nothing’s as simple as it used to be
What’s happen to being free
treating a wife with respect
losing your mind and beating
her to a pulp leaving her bruised
For yourself enlightenment
What the hell is your predicament?
Can you see what I see?
Can you read between the lines
Of what was once fine
Everything that had a shine
Is now dull
Hats off to the bull
Pathetic is everything now
Whats real is living underground
Poetic justice is yet to come
Emancipation Proclamation
More like
Emancipation Facistination
Legitimate...
Has now become a predicament
Published 5th Apr 2013
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comments 2
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
5th Apr 2013 9:40am
I enjoyed this, think you have a lot of interesting points and thoughts worthy of being heard.
Stanza 1- I love it, I am not crazy about "frail" as it seems a bit forced for rhyme.
Stanza 2-good, edit to - should be too
Stanza 3- strong, energetic and bold..needs a little edit though, to be in the right format-my suggestion follows-but use your discretion, of course :-)
Nothing's as simple as it used to be
What's Happened to being free
then it's a little cluttered, think maybe removing a word or two will help.
Stanza 4- missing "you" from line 2
Stanza 5-looks good!
stanza 6-good, I like the way you restate and wrap up the write in this way :-)
I think it's good, just minor things to look at fixing up a little..your writing is improving by leaps and bounds..well done!
Stanza 1- I love it, I am not crazy about "frail" as it seems a bit forced for rhyme.
Stanza 2-good, edit to - should be too
Stanza 3- strong, energetic and bold..needs a little edit though, to be in the right format-my suggestion follows-but use your discretion, of course :-)
Nothing's as simple as it used to be
What's Happened to being free
then it's a little cluttered, think maybe removing a word or two will help.
Stanza 4- missing "you" from line 2
Stanza 5-looks good!
stanza 6-good, I like the way you restate and wrap up the write in this way :-)
I think it's good, just minor things to look at fixing up a little..your writing is improving by leaps and bounds..well done!
5th Apr 2013 3:10pm
Thanks I should make the arrangements.Had the inspiration from "I Have a Dream" Speech from one of my favorite writers M.L.K. JR. :)
