My Mask

My eyes have pain that no one sees, my laughter is a cover up, my smile is just a show. Do you know my heart? Can you see my heart? Day by day a little piece of me dies, then I look at these babies and feel alive again. My eyes still hide my pain, my smile and laughter still covers my actual self. Nobody knows...but God...Can you hear my cries? Can you feel my hurt? Are you going to hold me days on? Are you going to kept me safe at night, when I'm gasping for air? As night falls, my panic's get worst. No medication can help my body from trembles of fear. Morning appears and I get ready for the day, throw my mask on as if everything is okay...reality hits and I'm not...my babies show me the life I would miss if I was not here. Everyday life is a struggle to put a smile on my face, but as I awake in the early morning to feed baby girl, with her wide bright eyes and starring at me with the biggest smile on her face.
I look at my past, present, and future and know through Gods will, that everything will be alright.
I now know that its okay to break,
Breaking does not make me weak,
Makes me that more stronger.