deepundergroundpoetry.com
people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
a long,long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
before the feelings had begun to fade
i used to prey
that your parachute would always open
that you would never miss the vein
i'm crossing timezones on a train
hoping i'll be different a few hundred miles away
your tattoos,your crooked smile,sushi
these are just a few things i hate
honestly
i don't think honesty
is anything you could ever promise me
in a world full of scene kids and cornflake girls
i don't need to paint my fingernails black
or pretend i'm sad
i'm just darker then you
growing further and farther from you
all on that old bitch slap rappin and cocaine tongue
i'm just plain done
hell is where the heart is
jesus is doing hamlet in central park
homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
humans keep secrets
these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
i live in a world of period point blanks and commas
trauma
plenty of fish in the sea
but most of them are piranhas
this is why the less tolerant beat hookers
this is why hookers are less tolerant
you have got beautiful eyes baby
but you cant spell racecar backwards
before the feelings had begun to fade
i used to prey
that your parachute would always open
that you would never miss the vein
i'm crossing timezones on a train
hoping i'll be different a few hundred miles away
your tattoos,your crooked smile,sushi
these are just a few things i hate
honestly
i don't think honesty
is anything you could ever promise me
in a world full of scene kids and cornflake girls
i don't need to paint my fingernails black
or pretend i'm sad
i'm just darker then you
growing further and farther from you
all on that old bitch slap rappin and cocaine tongue
i'm just plain done
hell is where the heart is
jesus is doing hamlet in central park
homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
humans keep secrets
these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
i live in a world of period point blanks and commas
trauma
plenty of fish in the sea
but most of them are piranhas
this is why the less tolerant beat hookers
this is why hookers are less tolerant
you have got beautiful eyes baby
but you cant spell racecar backwards
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Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 9:19pm
Hey John, terrific work. Great flow in this stream of consciousness. The second stanza and the last stanza are my faves and "jesus is doing hamlet in central park" is an awesome image. Keep it rockin', JR!
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:04pm
thanx tony...always appreciate the read man. anybody who's been to central park knows what i'm talkin bout. thanx again man....
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 9:33pm
Mr. Rot
This old paler skinned woman heard the "beat" ;)
I concur with Tony's assessment :)
Loved the read ...
This old paler skinned woman heard the "beat" ;)
I concur with Tony's assessment :)
Loved the read ...
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:06pm
thank you miss maggie.i like to write b4 a beat and than place it over to try to create a another syllable percussion melody so to say. thank you mam.....
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 9:45pm
full of great lines...
I like
"i don't need to paint my fingernails black
or pretend i'm sad
i'm just darker then you"
:)
I like
"i don't need to paint my fingernails black
or pretend i'm sad
i'm just darker then you"
:)
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:08pm
thank you tank girl...i don't think i need to wear a costume to display bein me. i just dress comfortable and and try to kill everything in a verse....
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 10:03pm
Impressive.
hell is where the heart is
jesus is doing hamlet in central park
homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
humans keep secrets
these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
hell is where the heart is
jesus is doing hamlet in central park
homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
humans keep secrets
these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:10pm
kind of a freestyle miss scribbs. i try to edit but feel i need all the one liners without connection to show the sporadic mindset...thank you mam...
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 10:21pm
I agree with the rest above.
and the one stanza really did steal the show
"-hell is where the heart is
cocky and whimsical, like the line
-jesus is doing hamlet in central park
love the image, but in all honesty I think it sounds a bit more clever than it actually is, fuck it though, could just be an observation, in which case good shit
-homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
fucking homerun, I most certainly will scribble this on many bathroom walls
-humans keep secrets
they sure as hell do. love the simplicity without judgement.it.is.just.a.fact.
-these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
back to cocky and whimsical, and the beautiful kinda lie that a drunk like me puts stock in
dig the stream of consciousness, maybe would like to see a more defined space for this...seems like a page ripped from the middle, despite the sorta cliché opening... but I will admit the over the top cockiness of the close sold me...oh well, a couple thoughts, clearly just my opinion...cheers Jr!
and the one stanza really did steal the show
"-hell is where the heart is
cocky and whimsical, like the line
-jesus is doing hamlet in central park
love the image, but in all honesty I think it sounds a bit more clever than it actually is, fuck it though, could just be an observation, in which case good shit
-homeless people rarely wear eyeliner
fucking homerun, I most certainly will scribble this on many bathroom walls
-humans keep secrets
they sure as hell do. love the simplicity without judgement.it.is.just.a.fact.
-these are a few of the things i know to be true
whiskey will never betray you
back to cocky and whimsical, and the beautiful kinda lie that a drunk like me puts stock in
dig the stream of consciousness, maybe would like to see a more defined space for this...seems like a page ripped from the middle, despite the sorta cliché opening... but I will admit the over the top cockiness of the close sold me...oh well, a couple thoughts, clearly just my opinion...cheers Jr!
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
lb that was the best fn crit i have ever recieved my man. thank you kindly....
the cliche opener was i guess an attempt to attract multiple audiences. i hate to dumb it down so to say but i like the idea of crossover application. in an effort to be a writer's writer and a rapper's rapper i still desire to be overall recieved if that makes sense.
on the note of jesus doin hamlet in the park- every spring there is a guy with the stereotypical appearance of the gentlemen doin shakespeare. so i guess it's more of a reference than anything.
i know i dance around a lot but thas how my brain works i guess. maybe some adovan could help me keep focus but the better living through chemistry philosophy is what got me here and i don't know if i wanna leave just yet.
thanx again for your comments brotha. in an effort to forward skills i always look forward to and appreciate thoughtful critique....
the cliche opener was i guess an attempt to attract multiple audiences. i hate to dumb it down so to say but i like the idea of crossover application. in an effort to be a writer's writer and a rapper's rapper i still desire to be overall recieved if that makes sense.
on the note of jesus doin hamlet in the park- every spring there is a guy with the stereotypical appearance of the gentlemen doin shakespeare. so i guess it's more of a reference than anything.
i know i dance around a lot but thas how my brain works i guess. maybe some adovan could help me keep focus but the better living through chemistry philosophy is what got me here and i don't know if i wanna leave just yet.
thanx again for your comments brotha. in an effort to forward skills i always look forward to and appreciate thoughtful critique....
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 10:45pm
Hell JR. It's a Great piece, cant pick out best lines cuz they are all there!!!
Always the Dark Humorist=excellence!!!
Always the Dark Humorist=excellence!!!
1
re: Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:23pm
thanx sd.... i think at first glance i'm just throwin one liners 2g but there is a connection there.... thanx man.....
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
Anonymous
26th Mar 2013 11:25pm
classic jr
thanks
strider
thanks
strider
1
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
26th Mar 2013 11:59pm
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
Wow. Just so true. I like the rythm (that's the one word in the english language I cannot spell!!!! You want proof? Google "hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia". Google will say that it's missing a 'p', but wikipedia says that that is a common intentional spelling error to make the word longer. Why, you might ask, would anyone want to make that word longer? Well, because ironically enough, it means the fear of long words. ;) )
Hitting the like button.
Hitting the like button.
1
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
2nd Apr 2013 11:51pm
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
11th Aug 2013 5:41am
the title had me rolling a bit... had an amazing time in central park last weekend in fact...so much life and craziness gotta love it. honestly
i don't think honesty
is anything you could ever promise me..fave line... I love seafood but I'm with you man..fuck sushi!
i don't think honesty
is anything you could ever promise me..fave line... I love seafood but I'm with you man..fuck sushi!
1
Re: people who eat raw fish must have no concept of fire
11th Aug 2013 6:44am
thanx ghos. i'm missin the city right now. currently relocated. another bad decision.
but yeh man thanx for the input....
but yeh man thanx for the input....