Hospital

I’m running and running from my past
But I can’t see the future.
No predictions, just convictions.
A mental prison which only I can see.

But I’m not alone.
They’re here watching me
It’s dark here, I can’t see.
But they can see me.
Through the twisted bars
They watch in wait.

When I come back to reality
I don’t stay long.
They come, they follow.
They take me back.
But its different, not the same.
This room is lit with a single candle.

This time I see the blood stained walls and floor.
The screams of pain that have passed.
Leading to the stone slab.
Full of evil in wait.
The center of the room.
Filled with holes in which blood can drain.

Tools of torture I see.
Being forced, restrained.
I feel as knife cuts skin.
The releasing of endorphins.
A natural high.

Hours of struggling to survive.
They hand me a gun
Tell me to choose
I put the gun to my head
Pull the trigger
In a flash I’m back
In this   desolate place.
Just to go through it again.
Then I think…
Is it worth chewing through the straps today.