deepundergroundpoetry.com
I'm the Waiting Rose
Grasp me quickly,
'cause soon you'll lose me;
to kinder hands.
Here I'm waiting,
a blooming rose,
and will you come?
Only you know.
Your sweet and rough,
confusing me,
bruising me.
Forcing away my guardian thorns.
and yet still,
you gently hold,
my soft and weak petals.
quickly taking,
My red rose.
But a kinder hand still,
has taken my red rose.
Ever so slowly,
easily, without any pain,
taking my thorns away.
and softly holding,
with his funny grasp;
my beating heart.
Here I am,
Deep red rose.
Are you who I'm waiting for?
4F487F66-2D31-29BF-DBE4-96B7E6612F111.03.01
'cause soon you'll lose me;
to kinder hands.
Here I'm waiting,
a blooming rose,
and will you come?
Only you know.
Your sweet and rough,
confusing me,
bruising me.
Forcing away my guardian thorns.
and yet still,
you gently hold,
my soft and weak petals.
quickly taking,
My red rose.
But a kinder hand still,
has taken my red rose.
Ever so slowly,
easily, without any pain,
taking my thorns away.
and softly holding,
with his funny grasp;
my beating heart.
Here I am,
Deep red rose.
Are you who I'm waiting for?
4F487F66-2D31-29BF-DBE4-96B7E6612F111.03.01
Published 17th Sep 2010
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 814
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Sep 2010 2:18am
One question though...Is that your Social Security Number at the end? Lol, it's a very lovely piece of poetry, I enjoyed the questioning need both hidden and displayed throughout. Very well described, luvs it. Great poem. :)
17th Sep 2010 11:18pm
Anonymous
- Edited 19th Nov 2011 7:07am
19th Nov 2011 7:06am
Karrabear, of your work I love this one the most, it has this raw truth about it, and the rose is the perfect metaphore. I must say, I didn't expect this but I do really love this piece.
Honest Crit...
Stanza 3 - line 1 "Your" would work better as You are (I think) and then the last line in the same stanza My red Rose that cap M kills it try "my red rose" I think your last line rocks, I would have had a pause break tho,
"Here I am,
Deep red rose.
Are you who I'm waiting for?"
This is only my opinion, and I love this piece.
Blue Skies to you.
Honest Crit...
Stanza 3 - line 1 "Your" would work better as You are (I think) and then the last line in the same stanza My red Rose that cap M kills it try "my red rose" I think your last line rocks, I would have had a pause break tho,
"Here I am,
Deep red rose.
Are you who I'm waiting for?"
This is only my opinion, and I love this piece.
Blue Skies to you.
19th Nov 2011 8:23am
thank you so muchXD believe it or not i think i got an 80 for this last year. thank you, i'm glad ya get it :)
really? yeah, i'm just now learning about the impact of separating the apostrophized words and pauses. i'll try it out :)
the waiting is a secret...and i'm not entirely sure either. I'm waiting for the rose. and the rose is waiting for me. Do you get it?
thank you :)
p.s. How do you stay up this late0.0 lol school must really be hagering me if i can barely stay up past 2. lol
really? yeah, i'm just now learning about the impact of separating the apostrophized words and pauses. i'll try it out :)
the waiting is a secret...and i'm not entirely sure either. I'm waiting for the rose. and the rose is waiting for me. Do you get it?
thank you :)
p.s. How do you stay up this late0.0 lol school must really be hagering me if i can barely stay up past 2. lol
