deepundergroundpoetry.com
Suspension
Just inches away
but infinitely unreachable,
the cool comfort of the floor
eludes my straining toes.
Just a quiet, simple sound
but infinitely consuming,
a glass set down gently
sends my steady pulse racing.
Just a subtle scent
but infinitely telling,
wick burning and wax melting
sends goosebumps up my flesh.
Just a short time
but infinitely compelling,
these few moments of anticipation
set the stage for the night.
Published 11th Mar 2013
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Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
11th Mar 2013 3:16pm
<< post removed >>
11th Mar 2013 10:27pm
11th Mar 2013 6:33pm
I can actually say I like a poem in the erotica section :)
well done! not porn, not you typical same ol same
Love it!!!!
well done! not porn, not you typical same ol same
Love it!!!!
11th Mar 2013 10:45pm
11th Mar 2013 9:12pm
11th Mar 2013 10:48pm
Thanks QU! I wrote this specifically trying not to be too descriptive or revealing of what was happening in the poem; it's harder than it sounds!!
30th Mar 2013 8:26pm
Excellent title and structure, Nimmie!. I especially like the "showing" in the first three stanzas. You do such a nice job with showing that I think you could jazz up this line in the last stanza "these few moments of anticipation" into a phrase that shows the sentiment. All in all, though,a great job!
31st Mar 2013 10:17pm
Thanks Tony! Just so you know, I'm not ignoring your comment, I'm actually just thinking on how I would re-write the line, and if I want to; thanks for the suggestion :)
