higher state

selfish drugs erase your thoughts  
to show you what is in your mind  
to leave you with a will unforced  
as long as you are blind  
 
the spinning globe keeps you alive  
by twisting on your thinking thread  
your tenderness is getting rife  
and your control is dead  
 
and back again the feeling’s lost  
to be the one you thought you were  
somehow you find there is a cost  
in which you just occur  
 
you’re chasing your failed consciousness  
being on its silent heels  
an echo to some thoughts or less  
just guessing what you feel  
 
unable to find sense or cause  
you are a watcher but apart  
not watching your very own thoughts  
that divided from the start  
 
selfish drugs they dull your thoughts  
chaostrophy in your dull brain  
a random pattern sounds like cause  
endin’ up in hidden veins  
 
the woods are darkness - i should leave  
but lately i did find out that  
i think my life was like an empty sleeve  
and now it is an empty hat  
 
the higher state was poorly found  
i grabbed for a frozen dash  
darkness shivered in its own sound  
my brain yearned the woods to trash