she will burn the whole world down

Once again, there is a battle in my head,
so many faceless, exhausted soldiers trapped in my skull.

It never feels quiet, or still;
the heavy anxiety of
yet another battle is always lurking.
"The fighting continues until it is finished,
you pathetic girl!
Don't you know anything about sacrifices
and a personal call to duty?"

"I do," I choke.
I am the offspring of violence
and chaos,
but even I can't tolerate this war
as it hacks apart my brain excruciatingly
through the middle.

The pain sends me running for a needle
that will set my veins on fire
and burn down those damned battlefields.

The rush of pure carnage.

Though in an instant
I am surrounded by destruction
and the draining buzz in my head
as the rush slows to an agonizing crawl.

I fall to my knees, knowing that
the fire
turned everything into a wasteland.
Not again! What have I fucking done?

One more shot was the deal!
Just one!
I scream in frustration as I crash
and burn

and return to the needle.

The last hit, I swear.

Pointless sacrificing resumes,
waiting on the pathetic girl
to make her choice between
sobriety or burning alive.

I just watch her steady her needle,
slam it again,
and she burns the whole world down with her.