PAINFUL PRAYER

I saw a man who was worshiping.  
 
Holding two sons,so desperately.  
 
I felt something in the air that night.  
 
I promise you God,I will get it right.  
 
    Someday...When I'm not afraid.  
 
Maybe I could absorb some faith.  
 
Why can't I feel like they feel?  
 
     The same?  
 
I wouldn't even speak to my brother,next to me...  
 
I felt something in my heart that night.  
 
I promise you God I will get it right.  
 
      One day...When I'm not,  
 
shaking,  
 
addicted.  
 
Bleeding from my eyes when I start to pray.  
 
Freezing  
 
denying  
 
every little voice that's been trying to say,  
 
       "COME ON!"  
 
"It's so easy...Weakling."  
 
       "COME ON!"  
 
"Stop your bitching,and except what you are."