pretty words I do not need

Tonight, graced by the moon
I light one more cigarette
Press my thumb against it's aureole
Looking for myself within a scar
I can feel the kiss of pendulum swings
Finding answers in yesterday
They say I'm too young for regrets
Yet this silence loads a gun
And I tremble for the trigger like a coward

So everytime you said that you needed me
Darlin', it was always in vain
I'm only here to numb the pain
The sweet caress of lips
The tired nights of flesh in unison
It's all a lie
Just like me
I'm not that pagan faith
That I claim to be
I can't believe we're all a goddess
With hell in my eyes
It set you free
But I'm incarcerated in quarantine

I'm your own personal phantom of the opera
Drunk, awaiting the failure of music
And sick of the other half of my face
There's no water for this sinner
It's just an empty remedy
For this affliction that I need
So I must ask,
How can you still look at me like that
When I can't even remember what my name is today?

God damn it, please don't say
All those pretty words
That I just don't need
If you only knew
This is not my modesty
If you only knew
That I love that bottle more than you
If you only knew
I'm so alone when you whisper pretty words
In hollow embrace