deepundergroundpoetry.com
Destroyed
It's not my fault
I had thoughts
of you and other men
creeping in the dark
you stole my heart
tore it apart
and left me standing
alone in the dark
and so I thought
this was not the way
it was supposed to be
I'm in disbelief
over what you've done to me
once you were the sun to me
now just a faded memory
I thought that we were meant to be
thought from heaven you were sent to me
I realize now you were only lent to me
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me
everything so utterly,
totally incomplete
destroyed
I had thoughts
of you and other men
creeping in the dark
you stole my heart
tore it apart
and left me standing
alone in the dark
and so I thought
this was not the way
it was supposed to be
I'm in disbelief
over what you've done to me
once you were the sun to me
now just a faded memory
I thought that we were meant to be
thought from heaven you were sent to me
I realize now you were only lent to me
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me
everything so utterly,
totally incomplete
destroyed
Published 19th Feb 2013
| Edited 20th Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 11
reads 798
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Feb 2013 10:38am
Shoo, heavy!
What an intense piece this one is.
Enjoyed the flow, though...quite consistent in delivery.
Please pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
What an intense piece this one is.
Enjoyed the flow, though...quite consistent in delivery.
Please pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
19th Feb 2013 2:55pm
20th Feb 2013 4:17am
I realize now you were only lent to me
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me
everything so utterly,
totally,
completely
destroyed
I find this poem to be filled with love, emotional turmoil and so much hurt; the recipe for betrayal. It's hits me in a very powerful and moving way. I love all your lines, especially the above. I may have ended it with:
"totally incomplete"
destroyed
This goes on my list as I want to read it over and over in my times of need. Loved and enjoyed it to the max! Great poem!
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me
everything so utterly,
totally,
completely
destroyed
I find this poem to be filled with love, emotional turmoil and so much hurt; the recipe for betrayal. It's hits me in a very powerful and moving way. I love all your lines, especially the above. I may have ended it with:
"totally incomplete"
destroyed
This goes on my list as I want to read it over and over in my times of need. Loved and enjoyed it to the max! Great poem!
20th Feb 2013 10:11am
I'm so flattered myheartbeats. I love your recommendation for the end. I am changing it. Thank you!!!
20th Feb 2013 6:03pm
28th Feb 2013 11:15am
11th Mar 2013 11:12am
5th Mar 2013 00:56am
"I thought that we were meant to be
thought from heaven you were sent to me
I realize now you were only lent to me
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me"-- Sent chills.
"no longer even a friend to me" --nailed it!
thought from heaven you were sent to me
I realize now you were only lent to me
tenderness was your rent to me
we were always destined to never be
no longer even a friend to me"-- Sent chills.
"no longer even a friend to me" --nailed it!
5th Mar 2013 9:13am
11th Mar 2013 00:59am
11th Mar 2013 11:13am
