a single flower in the sidewalk

next time  
i'd prefer to b a glow in the dark star on the cieling  
maybe a magnet on the fridge  
a subtle whisper  
to promote belief in my favorite 4 letter lie  
   
i almost still remember back b4  
colors had begun to fade  
and a 6 pack was just good enough  
   
in the days when i did'nt talk so much  
i would feel less  
regret  
   
but i still love to play rock and roll  
and wanna believe in ghosts
 
something more than a horrible credit score  
would be acceptable proof of my existance  
and a divine high 5  
   
still i feel at home here  
wishing i was someplace else  
   
down the street  
around the corner  
the world ain't so bad  
   
sunrise anxiety  
sunset longing
 
an extra finger on my fret hand  
this could turn the whole thing around  
   
some would rather be scared than bored  
i'd be happy with niether  
   
let's change the furniture around  
i hate the placement of the throne    
and the discomfort of a pew    
   
i'd love for this to be my last cigarette  
but that's just a good idea that never works out  
like that one day everything will be fine
if i get sober  
   
things change  
they don't get better  
   
dig around in the darkness  
take a train ride  
maybe one day you'll sit beside her  
and she'll say "even if you don't, i still remember you"